


Echoes Of Ourselves

by Maluminspace



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Gay, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Bullying, Implied/Referenced Car Accident, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Mugging, Panic Attacks, Robbery, Sexual Content, Theft, Vandalism, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-07-07 08:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15904716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maluminspace/pseuds/Maluminspace
Summary: Michael was always somewhat of a romantic. So when he finally meets his very own tall, dark and handsome stranger, he’s not about to let him go without a fight. Nothing is that simple though.Calum’s never been an angel. He’s done plenty of dumb shit in the past, the kind of shit that can easily make you the worst kind of enemies. He's never regretted his decisions more than when he unintentionally falls in love, and those past mistakes start to threaten more than just his own safety...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [merlypops](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/gifts).



> So I am trying my first actual proper multi hapter fic. Most of this is planned out and I owe a **huge** thank you to Holly for helping me spark this idea and to Katy (merlypops) for convincing me and inspring me to share this. As always Clairey (mermaidcashton), Amanda (marriedmalum) and Maria (mukewriter) are my constant lil cheerleaders and I really love all 5 you very much!
> 
> I am undecided just how much violence and smut will be described in later chapters of this, so I am giving it archive warnings and a high age recomendation just in case... I'll also add to the tags as I go along as I'm not entirely sure just what's gonna be included in some parts yet, but if I miss anything please let me know!
> 
> Title taken from 'Cross Our Bones' by Crown The Empire

The way that Calum looks, draped against the wall beside the open window, in nothing besides his tight boxers, more than compensates for the fact that his cigarette fumes have just woken Michael from a peaceful sleep. Calum’s deep brown eyes sparkle with a laugh as he turns to face the blonde man in his bed. “You’re still not used to this, huh?” He waves the cigarette a little for emphasis.

Michael pouts, pulling the duvet up to cover his nose and mouth. “I thought you were quitting?” He mumbles drowsily.

“That’s just something I said to get you into my bed again.” Calum shrugs. He says it with an air of mischief but the cheeky glint he usually has in his eyes when he makes jokes is missing. An uneasy feeling starts to develop in Michael's chest like a dull ache. It's obvious to the blonde that something is off, he can sense a sort of tension radiating from Calum. “Hence why I’m trying to sneak a smoke while you’re meant to be asleep.” He continues, turning back to face the dark city beyond the window.

There’s always been a permanent air of sadness about Calum. It's been ever present, lurking beneath the mysterious allure and the obvious ‘I don’t give a fuck’ vibe he’s given off, since the night Michael met him over a year ago. Since then he had dedicated a lot of time to trying to break down Calum's steely exterior. He'd had the occasional breakthrough, like the night Calum had drunkenly rambled about his shitty childhood being passed from one foster family to the next because he was such a handful, and the day that he'd let slip that his middle name was Thomas. They were all just little puzzle pieces that Michael was fitting together, one by one until the full picture of this mysterious man was complete. Michael regards Calum thoughtfully as he shifts his position a little in the bed. “That’s not a great plan, when you stay in the bedroom.” He teases, trying for now, to keep the atmosphere light. “If you were a true criminal mastermind you’d have used the living room window...” he trails off, noticing the way that Calum’s posture stiffens at the word ‘criminal’. It's a momentary change in demeanour, almost as though Michael has triggered a self defence mechanism, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Calum tries to laugh off Michael’s statement but it’s clearly a forced gesture and Michael would bet his life that the smile never reaches Calum’s eyes. His dark curly hair ruffles slightly as a cool breeze drifts in, blowing more of the smoke back into the room. “I guess I’ve never been that smart...” Calum shrugs, his tone almost dreamy as his gaze remains fixed on the outside world. Something is definitely _off_ and Michael's uneasy feeling starts to spread like a dark mist in his chest. Despite this, he opts to try and lighten the mood, scared of pushing Calum into a conversation he's not ready to have just yet. Michael's put too much of his time, effort and love into breaking down Calum's wall and he's not about to undo all of his hard work by asking the wrong thing at the wrong time. He adopts a cheeky tone and smirks into the darkness. “Luckily I’m not here for your brains!”

Calum tosses his cigarette butt out of the window before he turns back to face the room again. In the dim light, Michael can just make out a sombre expression on Calum’s face, not what he’d hoped his little hint would achieve at all. “Is there something wrong, Cal?” He asks in what he hopes is a casual tone. “Or have you finally had enough of me?” He tacks a laugh onto the end of his question but the lack of amusement on Calum’s face causes it to die after a second of hanging heavily in the otherwise silent room.

It's several moments before Calum finally pushes himself away from the wall and closes the window. “I've told you before, that _this_ was only ever meant to be a one time thing, Mike.” He sighs finally, running his fingers through his dark curls as though he’s nervous or maybe a little stressed. "I never really wanted anything this serious."

They'd done this dance before. Calum seemed to have deep rooted fear of commitment and it occasionally raised it's ugly head. Even though they'd had this conversation a hundred times, it never got any easier. It still hurts like a fucking punch to the gut because Michael can't even work out the cause and he knows he'll never be able to help cure it until he knows what or who hurt Calum so bad in the first place. Forcing down his fears and trying to stop the spread of that dark feeling, he focuses on the vague hope that he can salvage what's left of the night and whatever it is that he and Calum have shared for the past year or so. Michael again decides to attempt a little humour, hoping that he can lift Calum's spirits and avoid the whole 'commitment' conversation altogether. “But I’m too irresistible right?” He smirks. “My rugged looks, charm and my skills between the sheets, are too good to pass up, huh?”

Calum perches on the end of the bed and leans down to pick up the sweat pants he’d thrown to the floor a few hours earlier. “Yeah... that's part of it.” He replies with a half hearted sigh of laughter. “But I don't think I can do it any more, Mike.” The faint smile he'd had dies quickly, leaving a faded, blank expression on his handsome face.

"Please don't do this again, Calum" Michael pleads. "Instead of trying to push me away, just fucking talk to me."

Calum pauses, but keeps his gaze determinedly fixed on his hands. "I've told you before." He whispers. "I can't do that."

The uneasy feeling in Michael's chest transforms pretty suddenly into anger. "I know that there must be some fucking ugly demons in your past, Cal." He says, trying hard to stop his emotions from showing in his voice. "But we've been together for over a year now, it's time to start letting me help you get rid of them!"

It's hard to see Calum's face in the dim light, especially as he keeps it angled downwards, as though he's almost too afraid to make eye contact. "I can't." His voice is a little broken as though he's forcing the words out over a lump in his throat. "I love you, but I can't do this any more"

Michael drops the covers and leans forward to get closer to his boyfriend. "I love you too, Calum." He states as calmly as he can before placing a soft kiss to Calum's bare, muscular shoulder. "So we can work through anything. Just let me in, please." He's begging now, the pleading tone to his voice and the singular tear that drips off his cheek on to Calum's back make that fact perfectly clear.

Calum stands up abruptly, almost causing Michael to overbalance and topple off of the bed. "I've kept you around a hell of a lot longer than I should have." He says, obviously stifling a sniffle.

"Kept me around?" Michael repeats, ensuring that his distain for the words drip from every syllable. “I’m not a stray cat, Calum!”

Scrambling to pull on his sweats, Calum still avoids looking directly at Michael. The blonde notices the way his boyfriend’s eyes glisten slightly as the moonlight glances off of them. “I know... I just, I never should have let this get so serious!” He sounds exasperated and angry at himself.

As Michael watches Calum grab the t-shirt he’d thrown off earlier, a horrible realisation creeps over him. This doesn’t feel like any of the other times they’ve had this conversation. It feels final, somehow. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

It looks as though Calum’s dealing with an internal struggle before he pulls on the t-shirt. “That’s not it, babe... I was just never cut out for this.”

Michael’s anger boils over. “Just cut the fucking crap and tell me the truth, for once in your life!” He yells. “Tell me why you ‘can't do this any more!"

Calum snaps his eyes up to meet Michael’s gaze. There’s a second’s hesitation, during which calum seems to experience every emotion between sadness, regret and guilt before finally landing on something close to resolve. “Because I’m leaving.” He replies flatly.

The revelation hits Michael like a hammer to his rib cage. “What? When were you going to tell me about this?!” He gasps out, aware that a fresh swell of tears are threatening to fall from his eyes now.

Calum sits back down on the bed, heavily as though weighted down by his emotions. He’s definitely crying now, he hides his face behind his hands. “I was dreading telling you, I’ve put it off for weeks... I love you, but trust me, Mike, it’s better for you if it ends now.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what’s best for me!” Michael sobs. “Has the last year meant anything to you at all? You fucking asshole!”

Calum looks over at his boyfriend, eyes still glistening with tears. “It’s meant everything.” He replies. “This is so hard for me, but it’s for the best.”

Despite the crippling reality that Calum couldn’t seem to give less of a fuck about Michael or his feelings, the blonde still feels heartbroken. The longer he sits in silence the more convinced he becomes that Calum has done nothing but lead him on. He’d always given Michael just enough to keep him interested, just enough to keep him coming back... “You’re really not going to give me more of and answer are you?” He asks, keeping the covers wrapped around him as he jumps to his feet and begins gathering up his clothes from the floor.

“Trust me...” Calum mumbles quietly, still refusing to lift his gaze. “You’re better off not knowing.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little while! 
> 
> I hope it was worth the wait <3

A dorky photo of Michael’s face is still Calum’s lock screen. He finds himself clicking the button on the side of his phone to light up the screen just so that he can stare at it. It’d been taken months ago, in this very room, before his troubles had resurfaced. It’s not the cutest or sexiest photo of Michael that he has stored on his phone, but the memory it represents is precious. He replays it in his mind as he stares at the photo fondly, trying to forget the familiar dread that was starting to consume like it had done countless times in the past.

_Michael’s laying in Calum’s bed, the late morning sunshine illuminating his pale skin and bleached hair in muted yellow and gold tones through the thin, neutral coloured curtains. His eyes are twinkling with mischief as he hands Calum his phone. The younger man takes it, suspicion blossoming in his chest. He had left his phone on the bedside table whilst he showered, there’s no apparent reason why Michael had needed to pick it up. It all becomes clear when the screen lights up in his hand to display a new lock screen, it’s a photo of Michael’s scrunched up face, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his tongue poking out from the corner of his plump pink lips. Calum rolls his eyes fondly. “I suppose you think this is funny, do you?”_

_Michael shrugs, a smirk still playing across his pretty face. “I just thought it’d be a nice reminder of me when I leave to go and slave away at work.” He flops back into the pillows, his blonde hair fanning out behind his head almost like a halo. Even though his cheeky smile is suggesting that his thoughts are anything but innocent and angelic._

_It’s always been hard for Calum to resist Michael’s charm. He’s seductive even when he doesn’t mean to be and Calum’s just weak for him. He notices the way that Michael’s eyes drift over his body, lingering on his toned stomach somewhere close the where the fluffy white towel is tucked in on itself around his waist. “Don’t even think about it, Clifford.” Calum warns in a low voice. “You have work in less than an hour and I said I’d meet Spencer and Ash for lunch.”_

_Michael sticks out his bottom lip in a pout. “But I want you...” He insists, reaching across the bed to tug at Calum’s towel._

_The younger man catches Michael’s wrist in a firm hold just before the blonde can pull at the fold that would send the towel tumbling to the ground. “I told you no...” He growls, ensuring that his eyes remain soft. This is only play, he knows Michael likes to be controlled in the bedroom but Calum always knows how to keep it on the playful side of rough._

_Michael gasps as Calum holds his wrist down in the bed. “Oohhh, am I in trouble?” He asks, his smirk back in full force, green eyes glistening with lust._

_“More than you know!” Calum replies with a bark of laughter before tearing away the duvet covering Michael’s nearly naked body. The blonde giggles as Calum climbs between his legs before leaning down to kiss him._

Calum allows his head to flop back against the cold glass of his window, the sounds of Michael’s soft giggles and moans still playing through his mind. He tries hard not to focus on the fact that the words he’d meant as a sexy joke had actually held a much darker truth. He stuffs his phone back into the pocket of his black skinny jeans, feeling the anxiety that had sprung into his chest the previous night burrow deeper into his chest. He’d grown too comfortable and complacent in his life. He never should have settled down with someone. He shudders at the memory of the reminder of that he’d received the previous evening. Michael had been the first good thing to happen to him in a really long time and he forced to let him go. A quiet voice in his head whispers into his spiralling thoughts as he sits in silence _You don’t deserve anything good, though. You gave up any hope of a normal, happy life years ago. Deal with it. Move on._

__“What’re you doing, hiding in here?”_ _

__The familiar voice of his friend, draws Calum out of his thoughts and back into the bedroom of his tiny apartment. “Sorry, Spence...” He replies dully as he forces himself to his feet. “I just needed a minute.”_ _

__Spencer’s handsome face adopts a concerned expression as he swipes a strand of his dark hair out of his eyes. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?” He asks cautiously. “Is this really what you want?” He pulls a packet of cigarettes from the pocket of his jeans and flicks it open before offering it to Calum._ _

__“Of course it fucking isn’t.” Calum replies, taking a cigarette from the open packet. “But what choice do I have?”_ _

__Spencer pulls out a cigarette for himself before picking up a lighter from Calum’s dresser. “Stop running, stand and fight for once in your life.” He states matter of factly as he lights the cigarette pressed between Calum’s lips._ _

__“It’s not about running or fighting, Spence!” Calum sighs. “It’s about damage control.” He blows out a plume of smoke that hangs in the stale air between himself and his friend like a wispy grey cloud. “I can’t risk other people’s safety more than I already have.” He slumps back against the window again, frowning._ _

__Spencer lets out a frustrated growl as he lights his own cigarette. “The only person other than me or Ashton, they’d try to get at is, Michael.” He shrugs. “And if you explain your past to him and the dangers, it’s his choice whether to stay in your life.”_ _

__A moment of tense silence settles over them. The air becoming heavier with nicotine fumes by the second. “He’d stay with me no matter what I told him.” Calum explains truthfully. It’s not arrogance that laces his words, it’s something much closer to hurt. He knows Michael inside and out, better than he’s ever known anyone in his life and as amazing as his time with the blonde had been, Calum hates himself for ever allowing himself to let the relationship get so serious. He hates that he’s allowed Michael to become so attached to the pale reflection of himself that he’d shown to his boyfriend of almost a year. “And I can’t let them hurt him...”_ _

__Spencer’s jaw tightens as he undoubtedly bites back another argument. Luckily, Ashton’s footsteps shuffling down the hall, distract him. “We’re in here.” The older man calls._ _

__“I know.” Ashton coughs as he limps into sight. His blonde curls hang loosely around his boyish face as he looks from one of his friends to the other. “I can smell the smoke from down the hall, I thought you were both quitting!” He winces as he leans against the doorframe to take the weight off of his bad leg._ _

__A pang of guilt hits Calum like a sharp pin prick. It never gets any easier for him to see the lasting pain he unintentionally caused his oldest friend. It only reinforces his decision to leave Michael well alone. He can’t let the love of his life end up like Ashton, or worse._ _

__“We’ve tried and failed.” Spencer scoffs, forcing a laugh. “Have you finished packing those books away?” He asks, nodding in the vague direction of the living room._ _

__Ashton jerks his head in a nod. “Not that either of you two were any help.” He snipes, hobbling over to the bed before sitting down heavily._ _

__“You okay, Ash?” Calum asks, unable to stop the guilt he feels from dripping off of every syllable. “Do you need some painkillers or anything?”_ _

__Shaking his head, Ashton stretches his leg out in front of him, a grimace distorting his face for a moment before he hides it beneath a tired smile. “A beer would be nice though.” He shrugs. “I think I’ve earned one after heaving those books around.”_ _

__Spencer rolls his eyes fondly. “Everyone would think we’d asked you to pack up the whole damn apartment on your own!” He teases._ _

__“Well it looks like it’s heading that way.” Ashton retorts, massaging his right knee gently with one hand. “I’m doing more work than you two put together.”_ _

__Calum wants to join in the lighthearted banter but the dark mood that had descended on him the previous night refused to allow even the tiniest sliver of happiness to get anywhere near him. He smokes the rest of his cigarette in silence, turning to face the window as he listens to his two closest friends exchange jibes. The sky outside is darkening, the grey clouds that had been rolling in over the city all day were finally threatening an imminent downpour. The thought of a rain storm actually gave Calum a weird sense of comfort, almost as though the weather reflecting his mood made his feelings a little more valid. When it eventually burns down almost to his fingers, Calum opens the window and throws the stub of his cigarette out of the window. He finds himself leaning against the wall beside it, just like he had done last night, when Michael had still been asleep in the bed behind him. A cool breeze drifts in to the room, ruffling his curls and helping the smoke in the air to dissipate. His thoughts drift back almost twenty four hours to when his phone had pinged with a text message. He’d expected it to be Michael finalising their plans for the evening. Instead he’d found a message that he’d been dreading receiving for months. It was that reminder that he’d never be safe and neither would anyone he loved. The words of the message were burned into his brain. _’Your new squeeze is pretty. Better make sure you take care of this one.’__ _

__“You’re doing the right thing, Cal.” Ashton says gently, breaking through the fog of Calum’s thoughts, just as Spencer had done a little while ago. “I know it’s a tough situation, but I’ll be with you every step of the way, yeah?”_ _

__Calum has no idea that Ashton has moved to stand behind him until he feels his friend’s firm grip on his shoulder. He smiles, albeit sadly at their reflection in the grey window. “Thanks, mate.” He places his own hand over Ashton’s fingers. “I really don’t wanna leave, but it’s for the best, right?”_ _

__Spencer makes a noise in his throat as though he’s going to disagree as he sidles past them to throw his cigarette butt out the still open window._ _

__“It’s definitely the right thing to do.” Ashton cuts in, squeezing Calum’s shoulder gently. “The longer you stay here, close to Michael, the more chance they have of using him to get to you.”_ _

__Nodding glumly, Calum closes the window. He can’t help but wish that he’d left this goddamn city months ago, before he’d fallen in love, before he'd pulled yet another unsuspecting, innocent person into his fucking huge mess of a life. He’d already stayed here much longer than he should have and hurt more people than he cared to count._ _

__“Y’know...” Spencer ventures cautiously. “That message you got yesterday Cal, it could have just been a hoax or something, you don't know for sure that it's...”_ _

Calum turns to face his friend, cutting him off mid sentence. He doesn't want to hear their names or any reference to _them_ , he doesn't think he can bare it right now. The dull fear that lurked inside of Calum for years, simmering quietly in every fibre of his being, started spilling out of him in the form of frustrated tears. “I can’t take that chance, Spencer.” He swipes a tear from his cheek almost angrily. “If I leave they’ll think I don’t care about him, hopefully they’ll be concentrating too hard on finding me that they’ll leave him alone.”

__Another stretch of silence settles over the room for a long moment. Calum knows by the way that Spencer’s jaw is clenched that his friend has more to say but he’s kept silent under a warning glare from Ashton. Apparently realising that he’s not going to change anyone’s mind right now, Spencer softens his expression and when he speaks, it’s with a conceding tone. “How about that beer, then?”_ _

__Calum forces down the rest of his fear and apprehension. He needs to put on a brave and confident face if he’s going to convince his friends that he knows what he’s doing is right. “Maybe we need something stronger...” He shrugs, leading the way out of the bedroom. He pretends not to see his friends exchange a glance, they’re never going to agree on what’s best for him but he knows he’s going to have to make them realise that it doesn’t matter what either of them think, his mind is made up._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have roughly 50 chapters left of this to post (if all goes to plan!)
> 
> Please let me know how you think I’m doing so far, comments and kudos mean a lot!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out so much longer and angstier than I intended! I hope it’s not too boring.

It’d taken Luke _hours_ to convince Michael to even get dressed and longer still to lure him out of their apartment. Michael had finally given into his friend because the idea of numbing his pain with a shit load of whisky was the most appealing thought he’d had since Calum had unceremoniously ripped his heart out three nights ago.

Despite the storm clouds over head and the light drizzle already falling from them, the early evening crowds had already started to gather outside most of the bars on the main street. Michael pulled his oversized denim jacket tighter around himself, more out of some deep rooted habit, than an actual desire to keep warm. Any degree of self preservation he may have is buried deep amongst the need to forget Calum and everything associated with him. 

“Shall we start here?” Luke asked, breaking the silence which has enveloped the two of them since leaving their apartment almost twenty minutes ago. The younger friend points vaguely towards a pub on the corner of the street just up ahead. “We used to love it in there, remember?” His blue eyes sparkle with some uneven mix of nostalgia for the pre-Calum days when Michael had accompanied him on numerous fun nights out, and some misplaced hope that a familiar place which has no Calum-ness attributed to it might cheer the older man up a little.

Michael gives a half hearted nod as a reply. He wishes he could be more enthusiastic. Luke’s worked so hard and been so patient with Michael since his break up, the least he deserves is a fun night out. The most that Michael can muster right now though, is a tiny twitch of his lips that he hopes resembles some pale shadow of a smile.

The light of positivity in Luke’s eyes seems to waver as he undoubtedly searches his brain for more ways to cheer Michael up. When he inevitably struggles to find a solution he simply drapes his arm around Michael’s shoulders. “I know it’s hard, buddy.” He ventures cautiously. “But he’s the dick that deserves to be miserable, not you.”

Michael bristles, the thought of Calum being unhappy doesn’t ease his own pain one iota. In fact it seems to hurt his heart more. He knows Luke only said that because he’s never been in love, but Michael has never wanted to be _that_ friend. The one that yells at the people closest to them that they don’t understand how he feels because they haven’t yet met that person that completes them. After all, it wasn’t Luke’s fault and the last thing Michael needs right now is to push his best friend away, he couldn’t cope with any more loss. “I’ll be alright.” He shrugs, his voice sounding quiet and croaky because it’s barely been used for anything other than sobbing, in almost three days.

Luke rewards the first positive comment Michael has uttered in days, with a beaming smile, his blue eyes lighting up with it as he grips his friend’s shoulder firmly. “I’m determined to get a smile back on your face before the end of the night, Clifford!” He smirks.

It’s very doubtful, in Michael’s opinion that he’s capable of anything close to a real smile just yet, but he rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as an acknowledgment of the gesture. “Thanks, Lukey.” He whispers fondly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Luke smiles kindly before placing a soft kiss to his friend’s forehead. “We’ll see if you still feel that way when you wake up with a hangover, tomorrow.” He laughs, leading Michael into the busy pub.

Their old hang out hadn’t changed at all. The pub was still loud and busy. All of the little booths near the window were already occupied, so Michael turns his attention to the back of the room, hoping there’ll be a secluded table over there.

“C’mon, lets get a drink first and then we’ll worry about finding a table.” Luke yells over the music and loud hum of conversation around them.

Michael nods silently, clinging a little closer to Luke than he usually would, gripping at the leather sleeve of his friend’s jacket as though it’s the only thing stopping him from getting swept away. As much as he hates to admit it to himself, Michael feels fragile. He kind of hates crowds at the best of times but right now he’s sort of on the verge of panicking. Suddenly, leaving the house feels like the worst decision he’s made since trusting Calum. It feels as though the weight of the crowd is crushing him. He lets out a gasp of air as he closes his eyes and tries to focus on the solid security of his best friend beside him.

“Are you alright, Mike?” Luke asks, concern lacing his words as they come to a stop at the corner of the bar. “Here, sit down...” he insists, pulling a bar stool closer to his friend and urging him gently onto it. 

Michael allows himself to be placed on the barstool, keeping a tight grip on Luke’s sleeve to keep his friend close. “Maybe we should order food before we start drinking?” The younger man suggests, eyeing Michael worriedly as though he might keel over at any second. “You haven’t really eaten much all day.”

The thought of eating anything at all, makes Michael’s stomach lurch in protest. He knows he probably shouldn’t drink a lot when he’s barely eaten in three days, but the realisation that he can get wasted so much quicker on an empty stomach far outweighs the all of the negatives he think of. Michael shakes his head distractedly. “Not really hungry...” He replies as calmly and evenly as his heavy breathing will allow. “Is it too early for shots?” He adds with a humourless laugh.

The concern on Luke’s face deepens, his light eyebrows knitting together in a worried frown as he grazes his teeth along his bottom lip. Before he can reply though, a familiar voice beats him to it, booming into the silence between them. “It’s never too early for shots!” A strong hand grips his shoulder as well as Luke’s. Michael looks up to find Spencer smiling back at him, hazel eyes sparkling with a clearly forced cheeriness.

Despite the fact that Spencer has become a good friend over the past year, first and foremost he was Calum’s best friend, or one of them at least. Seeing him, makes Michael feel as though the wind has been physically knocked out of him. The sudden and very obvious reminder of the man that he’s trying so hard to forget, intensifies the panic already knotting itself through Michael’s insides. He turns around in his seat, so that his back is to the newcomer. Unable to trust his legs to carry him safely out of the pub, this is the best Michael can do right now.

“Are you sure, you’re alright?” Luke asks, leaning in closer to Michael. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing a few drinks, can’t fix.” Spencer interrupts, wrapping an arm tightly around Michael’s shoulders before turning his attention to Luke, offering him a friendly smile. “You’re Luke, right?” He asks with a genuine smile, “I think we met at Calum’s birthday night out a couple of months back...” 

Michael flinches at the mention of Calum’s name but neither of the two men beside him seem to notice. In fact they seem way too wrapped in each other to notice anything else at all. Michael tries not to focus on that though, he concentrates on keeping his breathing steady as he picks up a drinks menu from the sticky wooden surface of the bar and pretends to get lost in deciding what to order. In his peripheral vision, the blonde notices Luke nodding his confirmation, pale cheeks reddening slightly as though he was a little embarrassed. “I remember you, Spencer, right?” He asks, his voice a little quieter and shyer than it had been a minute ago. 

“That’s me.” Spencer beams, tagging a flirtatious wink into the end of his sentence. “Do you mind if I join you guys for a couple of drinks? My work friend just cancelled on me and since I’m already here...”

Michael’s initial instinct is to say ‘no’. All that he wants is for Spencer, and any other reminder of Calum to be as far away from him and this bar as possible. 

“I think that would be okay.” Luke replies bashfully, before for Michael even has a chance to voice his opinion on the matter. “You don’t mind do you, Mike?” He adds, flashing a hopeful sideways glance at his friend.

Michael could argue of course, but he doesn’t have the energy. His main goal for the evening was to drink until he feels numb, it doesn’t really matter who else is with him while he does it. He offers a non-committal shrug, still staring at the list of spirits the pub has on offer. “As long as I can get the strongest shots they have here, I don’t care.” He mutters.

Luke opens his mouth to make a comment, undoubtedly about Michael’s rudeness to the newcomer but Spencer cuts him off with a cheery “I’m sure that can be arranged!” He turns his handsome face to Luke before asking “why don’t you go and grab a table? I’ll help mike with the drinks.”

After glancing around the room briefly Luke shrugs, “I’m not sure there’s any free...”

Spencer smiles, “my mate reserved one, we were gonna eat here.” He replies. “It’s under Dave Perkins, just ask if you can add a third person.” 

Luke nods thankfully, cheeks still tinged with a pink blush. “Okay, I’ll go ask...”

The panic attack that Michael had fought so hard to prevent seems to threaten him with a new ferocity the moment Luke’ warm familiar presence disappears into the crowd behind them.

“How’re you holding up?” Spencer asks, as soon as he’s sure luke is out of earshot. 

Michael’s not sure how to answer that. He knows that he should say something like ‘I’ve been better.’ Or even ‘ah y’know...’ but the “I’m not.” that escapes him in a barely audible whisper is probably the most truthful answer he could give.

A moment of silence settles over them like a heavy weight. Michael determinedly keeps his gaze fixed on the tattered menu in his hand so that he doesn’t have to make eye contact. It seems as though Spencer is having a hard time coming up with a reply to the pretty depressing answer that Michael has given, if his prolonged silence is anything to go by. Eventually he sighs a simple “I’m so sorry, Mike.” As he squeezes the blonde’s shoulder affectionately. “If it’s any consolation, I’ve tried to talk him out of leaving.”

Michael shuffles uncomfortably. “If he loves me, he wouldn’t need to be _talked out of_ leaving.” He has to fight to keep his voice even as angry tears threaten to spill over yet again. Michael’s just so fucking sick of crying at this point.

“He does love you.” Spencer insists, “I know it’s hard to believe right now, but he’s not leaving because he wants to...”

Michael rolls his eyes. “He broke up with me, he’s fucking off somewhere for ‘work’ and he has no intention of letting me know anymore, so fuck him!” He growls lowly. 

Spencer gently lifts Michael’s face so that their gazes meet properly for the first time since he entered the pub. “He _does_ love you.” 

It’s clear by the expression on Spencer’s face that there’s at least an element of truth in what he’s saying. It kind of hurts Michael more though, because if Calum loves him why the fuck is he leaving without so much as a decent explanation? These words are perched on the tip of his tongue, but the thought of talking about Calum anymore makes his heart hurt. He decides instead to move the conversation along in the direction he plans on taking for the rest of the night. “If you’re gonna stay around to flirt with Luke some more, just buy me strong shots and don’t mention _him_ anymore, okay?”

Spencer’s eyes look sadder than Michael has ever seen them as he nods and glances down at the menu in Michael’s hand. “I guess we should start as we mean to go on?” He concedes with a sigh, before looking up at the barman who’d just stepped forward to ask for their order. “Can we get three glasses of your strongest whisky, please?” He asks the rather sullen looking man, politely as he pulls a couple of notes from his wallet.

As soon as the bartender places the first glass of neat whisky on the bar in front of Michael, the blonde picks it up and drinks it all with one swig. He kind of loves the way it burns as it slips down his throat. It doesn’t do a lot to numb his pain but the warmth is spreads through his chest gives him something else to focus on at least.

“Better make that four, actually.” Spencer smiles sadly at the bartender. “My friend’s had a bad day...”

***

The tiny table Luke had been allocated when they arrived is now littered with empty glasses and half eaten plates of food. Spencer had ordered a bunch food for them to share and Luke had joined forces with him to ensure Michael ate something. After managing just a handful of fries and a couple of bbq chicken wings, just to keep them quiet, Michael turns his focus to drinking anything remotely alcoholic. 

Luke had gotten the last round of drinks and Michael had been disappointed that he’d only brought them each a beer, rather than the strong stuff he was really wanting. He doesn’t grumble out loud though, he doesn’t want to come across as ungrateful. 

“Why don’t we move on to a club?” Luke asks as Michael drains the last of his beer. “I wanna dance!”

There’s a sparkle in Spencer’s eye that Michael recognises as something like lust as the older man smirks in reply to Luke’s suggestion. “Sounds good to me.” He shrugs before both men turn their attention to Michael. It’s the first time either of them have looked at him for longer than a split second all night, they’d been much too focused on each other since they’d sat down over two hours ago. “You up for it?” Spencer asks when his questioning glance isn’t answered right away.

Michael nods. He’d rather just sit at this little corner table drinking all the cheap shit that this crappy little pub could offer him, but he reasons that a club will be louder and it’ll be easier for him to ignore his flirtatious friends in a place like that. 

“Great!” Spencer declares. “I know the perfect one, but it’s on the other side of town so we need to get a cab.” He adds before draining the last of his beer.

“Are you paying?” Luke asks, the corner of his lips curling into a cheeky smirk.

Spencer grins as he nods. “Of course!”

Michael rolls his eyes discreetly as he gets to his feet, using the table to steady himself when his knees tremble a little under his weight. Spencer and Luke giggle at each other as they also, struggle to keep their balance.

The three tipsy friends make their way out of the busy pub, stumbling out onto the cold, dark street. Michael stuffs his pale hands into his jacket pockets as they turn towards the direction of the taxi rank. The earlier crowds that he and Luke had passed on the way to the pub have become larger and noisier, despite the fact the temperature has plummeted and the drizzle has turned into a persistent shower. 

By the time they reach the taxi rank, the cold night air has seeped through the heat that the alcohol had created in Michael’s chest, leaving him feeling a little nauseous and undoing the slight numbness the various shots he’d consumed had created. 

Spencer knocks on the window of the nearest cab before leaning inside, presumably to ask the driver what the cost of taking them to their next destination would be.

Watching the exchange between Spencer and the cab driver, means that Michael isn’t aware of Luke stepping closer to him until the younger man leans his head tipsily on the blonde’s shoulder. “You think Spencer’s hot?” Luke asks, his tone betraying the smile that was definitely plastered on his face, even though the angle of his face meant that Michael couldn’t see it. 

“I guess.” Michael replies flatly, refusing to have any part in helping a new relationship begin. What would be the point in that? One of them would only end up with their heart broken anyway.

Even in his tipsy state, Luke’s sapphire eyes are sympathetic as they focus on him blearily through the long lashes that frame them. “I’m sorry, Mike.” He whispers, “I’ll tell him we’re gonna head home.”

Part of Michael melts at Luke’s willingness to sacrifice the most promising hint at sex he’s had in weeks, just to take care of his heartbroken friend. He forces a smile as he shakes his head. “I want to go to the club.” He insists. “And you want to get fucked, I’m not about to ruin that for you.”

Luke lets out a bark of shocked laughter as he straightens up, cheeks redding beneath the rain-damp curly hair that falls forward to obscure them. “It has been a while...”

Michael forces a smile. “I think that Spencer’s more than willing to end your drought.” He nudges Luke’s shoulder gently with his own. “Just don’t keep me up all night, okay?”

***

The cab ride hadn’t lasted long and true to his word, Spencer had paid the driver before leading the way to a bustling club a few yards down the road. 

A tipsy group of giggling girls stumble out of the neon-lit entrance as Spencer greets the security guy with a smile and friendly shoulder slap. Apparently the two of them know each other quite well. The huge muscly stranger stands aside after a brief chat to allow Spencer and his group into the club. 

Michael notices the way that Spencer’s hand find Luke’s lower arm as he guides him gently towards the desk in the corner of the dimly lit foyer. It makes the blonde’s heart feel heavy with jealousy. He already misses the way that Calum would offer soft gestures like that. 

A happy squeal of “hey Spence!” From the pretty girl behind the counter snaps Michael’s attention back to the room. She greets him with a beaming smile and a flirtatious wave before taking much too long to wrap a paper band around his tattoo covered wrist. 

Even in the dim light Michael sees Luke’s jealous frown creasing his handsome young face. If he wasn’t feeling so damn rotten, Michael would have laughed, as it is, he simply places a hand on Luke’s free arm before the lady at the counter waves them forward.

Once they all have their bright yellow bands stuck securely around their wrists, Spencer leads the way into the heaving main room of the club. It’s everything Michael was hoping for. The loud heavy rock music vibrates through his heavy boots and the flashing coloured lights around the dance floor are the only things breaking up the darkness. Michael conclude that this is the perfect place to stay anonymous as he drinks as much as it takes to achieve that total numbness that he craves.

It’s no surprise to Michael at this point, that Spencer seems to know the two people behind the bar as well. The two heavily tattooed and colourful haired twenty somethings, greet Spencer with a wave and a huge grin, yelling a friendly ‘hello’ over the thunderous music.

“What’ll it be, handsome?” The girl with green hair asks, brown eyes flashing as she gestures to the wall of booze behind her. “Your usual?”

Spencer nods “gimme 6 shots, I need to see it my buddies here can keep up with me!”

The girl behind the bar laughs before turning to Luke and Michael. “Good luck with that!” She turns her back on them and picks up an oddly shaped bottle before pouring six, not so carefully measured shots into plastic glasses and lining them up on the bar. Spencer offers the girl a couple of notes but she waves his hand away. “I owe you these!” She grins. “Just make sure buy more later, so I don’t get into too much trouble!”

Spencer fires her a wink as he assures her that he will. She grins before moving along the bar to the next customer.

“If you really want to get wasted, this is the stuff to do it with!” Spencer grins, sliding two shots in front of each of them before picking one up. “Cheers.” He smirks holding his own glass up a little. Luke’s the only one who taps it with his own, Michael’s just against anything that delays drinking the damn thing. He knocks the shot back, savouring the stinging burn in leaves in his throat. He takes the next glass from the bar and downs it just as quickly.

“Damn!” Spencer laughs, his tone suggesting that he’s vaguely impressed. “I’ve never known anyone else who can drink this shit, like me!” He downs his own drink before urging Luke to do the same.

The youngest of the group coughs and splutters as he holds his throat. “Fuck.” He wheezes. “That tastes like paint stripper or something!” He shakes his head as he pushes his remaining glass away. Michael snaps it up and drinks it as quickly as he did the first two. 

Spencer laughs, swigging his remaining shot before he orders three beers, casually wrapping an arm around Luke’s shoulders as he chats to the green haired girl again.

After a few minutes the effects of the three strong shots he’d knocked back so quickly, start to hit Michael with full force. He’s glad of the floaty feeling that starts to spread through him as he leans against the bar. The beer starts to help too but it’s still not enough.

“We’re just gonna dance, Wait here yeah?” Luke smiles squeezing Michael’s shoulder gently. 

“Good luck with the whole ‘getting fucked’, thing!” Michael replies, failing badly at a cheerful wink.

Luke eyes his friend worriedly for a moment, as he probably considers whether it’s a good idea to leave Michael alone.

Spencer asks the girl with green hair to keep an eye on Michael before dragging Luke towards the dance floor, their fingers intertwined as they grin at each other snappily.

The blonde watches them get swallowed up by the crowd before draining his beer and slamming the bottle down on the bar. The girl with green hair is busy serving a group of guys in leather jackets so he waves over the guy with dyed red hair instead. “Can I get another of those?” He asks, pointing at the oddly shaped bottle of alcohol that’s apparently Spencer’s favourite. “And a neat whisky too, please!”

The red haired guy pours the drinks without question and says he’ll add them to Spencer’s tab. Michael thanks him and then downs the shot, following it quickly with the whisky. He starts to feel dizzy with the amount of alcohol he’s consumed, his mind blank as he realises his gut isn’t tight with sadness anymore and thinking of Calum only makes him faintly glum rather than causing a searing pain in his chest.

“Steady on, pretty.” A drawling voice says as a strong hand grips Michael’s shoulder. “Carry on like that and you’ll be spending the rest of your night puking your guts up.”

Michael scoffs as he turns to face the stranger. The man is vaguely handsome, his dark brown eyes sparkle a little as he regards Michael with a smirk adorning his oval shaped face. There’s a faded scar running down his left cheek, ending just above the corner of his pink lips. “Don’t care...” Michael shrugs as he takes in the almost intimidating appearance of the man next to him. “At least my hearts stopped hurting now.”

The man gives a knowing smile. “Ah, so you’re drinking to forget an ex, huh?”

Michael shrugs, something about the stranger makes him feel uneasy and he just hopes the man will leave if he doesn’t engage him in conversation. The blonde gives a humourless laugh as he waves at the red haired guy behind the bar again. “Hey... can i get more of these, please?” He’s vaguely aware that his words are slurring into each other but he can’t bring himself to care.

The stranger shuffles closer, leaning into Michael a little as he talks directly into the blonde’s ear. “How ‘bout I make you a deal, pretty?” He asks as the bartender puts the drinks down on the bar in front of Michael. “I’ll buy you those drinks and more besides, as long as you drink some water and humour me with a bit of light conversation, since my friends dumped me to chase around a couple of girls...”

Even in his inebriated state, Michael thinks there’s something off about this guy. He shakes his head. “I can pay for my own drinks.” He insists. “M’not really in the mood for talking.” 

The bartender tells Michael that he’ll add the latest drinks to Spencer’s tab as well. The blonde gives a thumbs up before picking up the shot, he lifting it to his mouth but a strong hand grabs his wrist to stop it before his lips touch the tiny cheap plastic glass. “What the fuck?” Michael mumbles angrily, trying and failing to wriggle his wrist free of the stranger’s grasp. The alcohol sloshes onto the bar as Michael struggles. 

The stranger smirks as he takes the now half empty shot glass from Michael’s hand and downs it himself. “Now you have to let me buy you one to replace this.” He says, his large hand still tightly and painfully wrapped around Michael’s wrist.

“‘M done with men!” The blonde snaps. “Don’t want your drinks or your conversation or your anything...” He finally manages to free his hand from the stranger’s grip before stumbling away towards the exit. The loud music and mass of people suddenly seem much less appealing.

Craving some air, Michael staggers out onto the street. For some reason, when he leans against the wall of the club beside the entrance, all he can think of is Calum. If he was more alert he’d know it was because he was a little scared. Calum had always made him feel safe and now he wasn’t around anymore. All of the pain that he’d tried to drink away seems to flood Michael’s insides again. An overwhelming and alcohol fuelled need to hear his ex boyfriend’s voice grips him. Without thinking, he pulls out his phone from the pocket of his jeans and opens his contacts, clicking Calum’s name and placing the handset to his ear. After far too many rings, Calum’s voice finally fills Michael’s ear but it’s the drab answer phone recording, not the sleepy, husky voice he was hoping for. After the beep, Michael contemplates hanging up but the wave of emotion he’s been trying to keep bottled up all night, spills out of him in a tearful, slurred mess. “Why can’t you just fucking tell me the truth, Calum?” He asks tearfully, “I dunno if it’s because I mean nothing to you, but Spencer says you’re still in love with me so why are you leaving?!” Sobs tear their way out of him as he speaks, now. “I thought you were _it_ , Calum. I thought we were something... I don’t... why would you...” his words are barely audible beneath the sobs as he slides down the wall. He gives up on speaking although he doesn’t think to disconnect the call. He’s not sure how long he’s crying into the phone before Luke hurries over to take it from him. The younger man disconnects the call and shoves the handset into his pocket before dropping down next to his friend and pulling him into a hug. 

Michael sobs into his best friend’s, slightly sweaty neck as he fights to control his breathing. He allows his body to lean limply against the taller man, unable to muster the strength or inclination to move.

Stroking Michael’s damp hair gently, Luke asks Spencer to call a cab to take them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I’m advance, because things aren’t likely to get much cheerier...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for taking a while to update. 
> 
> This chapter actually got way more emo and angsty than I intended :/

Michael’s drunken voice message seems to have been playing on a loop in Calum’s head all morning. The call had woken him in the middle of the night but he couldn’t bring himself to answer it, knowing that if he spoke to Michael his tenuous resolve to leave would crumble completely. Listening to the recording wasn’t making it any easier, though. Michael had sounded so completely broken that it had brought Calum to tears when he first heard it. His ex's heart breaking sobs echo through his thoughts, even now, hours after the last time he listened to the recording. The urge to call back, or even visit Michael, is starting to become impossible to contain. 

Calum hadn’t been able to get back to sleep again after the call. His hands were shaking slightly now as he sits on his bed, trying to focus on anything other than the pain Michael's message has caused. The lingering effects of the copious amounts of caffeine he’s been consuming in an attempt to sustain a decent degree of consciousness were not helping, part of him wishes he hadn't bothered so he could at least try to nap now. Feeling sorry for himself only seems to add to his guilt, a feeling that has already began eating away at him, gnawing at his insides like a swarm of angry insects. 

A quiet knock on the bedroom door breaks through Calum’s thoughts. He absently says “yeah?” Just loud enough for the visitor to hear. 

Unsurprisingly it’s Ashton that opens the door and limps inside. “I’ve finished packing up your computer games and stuff.” He smiles gently, hazel eyes radiating sympathy as he pearches stiffly on the bed next to his best friend. “What do you want to pack up next?”

Calum shrugs, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. “We should start on the kitchen I guess.” 

Ashton places a caring hand on Calum’s foot. “Maybe I should make us both a coffee before we do that, hmm?” He asks delicately. “I can make you a sandwich or something too, if you like? You barely touched your breakfast.”

Shaking his head, Calum tries a smile but it falls flat. Ashton’s concerned expression deepens at the sight of the forced gesture. “I’m not hungry.” The younger man confirms. “Have you heard from Spencer yet?” He asks, fixing Ashton with a look look that he really hopes doesn’t betray the full extent of his anger towards their friend.

“Not yet...” Ashton replies, his expression darkening a little as though he’s also upset by the way Spencer had acted the night before. “Do you want me to go over and talk to him?”

Calum’s mind immediately fills with images of Spencer, most likely sleeping of a hangover in his apartment across the hall. His anger flares dangerously close to the service but he manages to stop himself from saying anything regrettable. “I’ll go over there myself soon.” He replies, unable to stop a note of resentment from creeping into his tone.

Ashton seems to notice it as his breath escapes him in an angry huff. “He had no right to go and see Michael, Cal.” He says, cheeks reddening a little. “He was out of order...”

Before Ashton can continue his rant, a knock on the door interrupts the conversation. The older man struggles to his feet and despite the pain evident on his handsome face, he lumbers out of the room and down the hall.

It's easy for Calum to guess who the new visitor is and he vaguely wants to hurry past his friend (he could easily manage it, thanks to Ashton’s impairment), so that he can be the first to give Spencer a piece of his mind. He ultimately decides not to, his exhaustion and sadness seemingly overpowering his simmering anger. Besides, maybe a good earful from Ashton is what Spencer deserves.

After a few moments Calum hears the front door being unlocked and opened, before Ashton speaks in a snappy tone. “Oh you’re finally back in the land of the living are you?!” He barks, louder than necessary in Calum’s opinion.

“Not now, Ash...” Spencer groans in reply. “I’m here to speak to Calum, I’m not in the mood for one of your lectures.”

A moment of complete silence passes, during which Calum can just imagine his two best friends staring stubbornly at each other until someone backs down. Inevitably that someone appears to be Ashton, as even footsteps make their way down the hall a few seconds later, followed by the slam of the front door and then Ashton’s slightly shuffling footsteps.

When Spencer finally appears in the bedroom doorway, he looks worse than Calum had been imagining. The older man has dark circles under his eyes and a paler complexion than usual, the obvious aftermath of his impromptu night out with Michael, Calum thinks bitterly. But as he looks at his friend a little closer he notices the way that Spencer keeps his hazel eyes downcast and his fingers curled into fists at his sides, tell-tale signs of his guilt and uneasiness.

“You know how hard it was for me to let him go, Spencer.” Calum says in a determinedly even voice, keeping his eyes fixed steadily on his friend’s face. He tries hard to keep an accusing note out of his tone, but he’s not sure he entirely manages it in the end.

Spencer sighs, his shoulders sagging as though a huge, invisible weight is pressing down on them. “I’m _so_ sorry, Cal.” He whispers, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I just... I thought I could talk him into trying to convince you to stay but...”

Ashton makes an angry noise in the back of his throat as he joins Spencer in the doorway. “You had no right to do that!” He snaps. “Calum’s already made his decision! Why are you trying to make it more difficult for him?”

A spark of anger flickers to life in Spencer’s eyes as he turns to face Ashton. “No one actually asked you.” He snaps. “So stay the hell out of it.”

Calum slides off of the bed and crosses the room to stand between his two friends. “Don’t talk to him like that.” He warns as calmly as his the many emotions swirling around inside of him will allow. “He’s just trying to look out for me.”

Spencer’s gaze snaps back to Calum, dark hazel eyes burning brighter with a growing temper. “When are you ever going to realise that he’s not the only one that fucking cares for you, Calum?” He demands. “You have other people that love you and you’re just leaving us all behind without a second thought.”

The words cut through Calum like shards of broken glass. A lump rises in his throat but he fights against it, focusing on the angry part of him that hates how Spencer went behind his back last night. He doesn’t think his heart can handle thinking about the other side of the situation right now. “That’s really what you think of me?” Calum growls, pushing his face closer to Spencer’s to keep his friend’s eyes focused on him. “I’m leaving _because_ I fucking care! I care more than I can say about you and about...” he can’t quite bring himself to say Michael’s name as he drops his gaze, but he’s ultimately saved the bother.

“And Michael?” Spencer scoffs, shaking his head a little as he rakes his fingers through his hair to scrape it away from his pale face. “If you gave a single damn about either of us you’d listen when we ask you to stay.”

The realisation that Spencer’s words are only half true, hits Calum like truck. When he speaks after a moment of heavy silence, his voice is tinged with a sadness he can’t fully contain anymore. “Michael’s never even asked me to stay.”

Instead of his expression softening, as Calum vaguely expects, Spencer becomes angrier. “Because you broke his fucking heart, you dick.” He growls, “He was angry! You invited him over for what he thought was a normal date night! Only instead of a cozy evening in with his _boyfriend_ you suddenly broke up with him and told him you were leaving without, even a half decent explanation as to why!” Despite the crackly quality to Spencer’s voice, due at least in part, to his hangover, he sounds livid. “But not before you fucked him, huh?“ He pushes Calum’s shoulder roughly, as though he’s trying to goad his friend into a physical fight. “Just to make him feel that bit more worthless and used.” His face is so close to Calum’s now that the younger man can smell the stale alcohol on Spencer’s breath.

Part of Calum wants to fight, to take out all of his anger and frustration on the one person that’s making this move even more difficult than it already is. Despite the temptation to let out his rage and give into Spencer’s obvious attempt at starting a fight, his friend’s words strike a sensitive nerve. Calum’s breath is escaping him in ragged gasps as he attempts to control his temper and fight back his tears. “Fuck...” is the only frustrated word that he can force out beneath the overwhelming wave of emotions coursing through him. He grips onto Spencer’s shoulders to steady himself as he sags under the pressure.

Calum half expects Spencer to get angry again and continue his rant, however the warm hug he’s suddenly wrapped in, is a more than welcome surprise. He melts into his friend’s hold, losing his battle to hold in the tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. “I’m such a fucking terrible person.” He sobs into Spencer’s shoulder, ignoring the smell of smoke, alcohol, rain and something else that he can’t quite place, but that reminds him painfully of Michael.

Another hand comes to rest on Calum’s back and the youngest friend sobs harder. He has so many reasons to feel guilty. He hurts everyone he comes into contact with, including the two people that are taking care of him right now, and it's all because of some stupid fucking teenage decisions that will haunt him forever. “Why do either of you even bother?” Calum gasps between sobs. “I’m not worth the pain or the danger...”

Ashton places a soft kiss into Calum’s curly hair as he wraps his arms around both friends in one go. “You’re more than worth it Calum.” He assures his friend gently. “We knew what we were getting into when we became friends with you.”

“Exactly...” Spencer sighs as he pulls back from the hug a little. “So why the hell does _he_ get to go with you?” He asks, gesturing towards Ashton with a disapproving jerk of his head. 

“Because someone has to watch his back.” Ashton cuts in before Calum has a chance to reply. “Besides, I escaped them once, I can do it again.”

The guilt in Calum’s stomach churns unpleasantly. He can barely hear Spencer’s reply of “I can do that as well as you can”, over the barrage of unbidden memories flickering through his mind, _A fist colliding with his jaw. Ashton’s frantic yelling. Three blurred figures surrounding his best friend. The dull thuds and grunts as they beat Ashton to little more than a bloody pulp. A sickening crunch as they crushed his kneecap before Calum could stagger over to stop them._

Ashton’s soft voice cuts through the horrendous images stampeding through Calum’s mind. “Stop feeling bad, Calum.” He says warmly. “I don’t blame you, I never will.”

The sobs escaping Calum become less frequent and quieter over the next few minutes as he stands, sandwiched safely between his two best friends. Once his breathing has evened out enough and he’s gathered his thoughts, he gently removes himself from his friends’ hold and faces Ashton. “I don’t ever want you to feel like you _have_ to do anything, especially for me.” He places his hand gently on Ashton’s shoulder. “You’ve already done much more for me, than I deserve.” His voice wavers a little as fresh tears prick at his sore eyes. “They hurt you because of me, I can’t let that happen again, to you or anyone else.”

Ashton opens his mouth to argue but Calum silences him with a shaky hand gesture before turning his attention to Spencer. “That’s why I never wanted you or Michael to come with me, Spence.” He sighs sadly. “Because it’s already hard to live with myself after what they did to Ashton.” Involuntary shivers run down his arms and back as Spencer grips his shoulder a little tighter to steady him. Calum knows he should go into more detail, maybe telling Spencer just how dangerous the men he’s trying to avoid are would convince him that this was all for the best. “You’ll forget me eventually, so will Michael.” It hurts to say but he knows it’s true, and it’s definitely a better situation than the alternative. 

“Why are you taking that choice away from us?” Spencer asks, his eyes are turning glassy now and Calum's fragile heart can’t handle it.

“Because you think I’m worth it, but I’m just not!” The youngest friend insists, his voice breaking midway through his sentence. 

Spencer pulls Calum back into a tight hug. “Don’t I get to decide that, though?” He asks quietly. “You’re one of the best friends I’ve ever had, Calum. I don’t want to lose you.”

Tangling his fingers into the back of Spencer’s jacket, Calum clings to his friend as though he might slip out of his grasp at any moment. It hurt to think of life without him. Spencer had been the only person since Ashton, that Calum had trusted enough to tell about his sketchy past. They’d become close after that and Calum dreads the thought of losing it, but he knows that his own happiness is worth so much less than Spencer’s safety. It was hard to put into words though and Calum hopes more than anything that the tight hug he’s prolonging will be enough to let his friend know how much he’s loved and how much he'll always mean to Calum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this <3  
> The next part isn’t going to be pretty :( I apologise in advance!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter and I’m a little nervous about it for two reasons:
> 
> 1) The split flashback (please let me know if you think this works)
> 
> 2) The nasty event at the end. 
> 
> I’m gonna say now that there’s a tw for violence/mugging. Please don’t read if anything like that upsets you <3

Michael’s never experienced a hangover that’s lasted this long before. When he’d woken up around lunch time he’d hoped his throbbing head and churning stomach would have settled by the time he started his evening shift at the bar. No such luck... He felt as bad as ever, despite drinking what felt like his body weight in water over the last few hours. 

At least it’s a slow night in the bar and Michael’s thankful that he can continue to nurse his hangover in peace without having to deal with too many drunken idiots. On the other hand, it means that time seems to be passing by much slower than usual, the hours ticking by at a torturous pace. 

Another unfortunate result of not being busy, was that Michael had more time dwell on his drunken phone call to Calum and the huge fucking mess that had led up to it. He’d contemplated calling Calum to apologise or even going over to visit him before his shift had started but Luke had refused to allow it, taking Michael’s phone and deleting Calum’s number from it, before driving him to work and seeing him safely inside.

Michael has to admit that Luke has been an overall angel in the last few days. He’s really not sure how he’d have survived after his break up with Calum if it hadn’t been for his best friend. Even after ruining the best chance Luke had had at getting laid in weeks, hadn’t stopped the younger man from helping Michael through his hangover (as much as possible, anyway) earlier this afternoon. If he head wasn’t still throbbing like a bitch, Michael would start planning some sort of gift or at least a thank you dinner, as it is, the mere thought of food makes him feel like puking and his brain feels as though it may as well be filled with mud. He makes a mental note to continue the ‘thank Luke’ plan in the morning, when his mind will hopefully be much more willing to come up with some good ideas.

To pass the time and to take his mind off of his aching body and embarrassing drunken antics, Michael had given himself the task of wiping down every single one of the seventeen tables crammed into the small pub. Unfortunately that had taken less than a half hour and the sticky beer residue that coated almost every surface, gave off a sickly smell and only resulted in making him feel even more nauseous.

“Here.” Michael’s work friend, Lucy smiles sympathetically as she hands him a pint glass full of water. Her pretty brown eyes linger on Michael’s greying face as he plods back behind the bar and leans heavily against it, his back to the majority of the room. “Drink this, we only have like...” she glances up at the TV that’s mounted on the wall opposite the bar. It’s currently showing a twenty four hour news channel due to the apparent lack of sporting events airing this evening. “One hour and forty three minutes, ‘til closing time!”

Micheal groans into his glass, one hour and forty three minutes still feels like much longer than he can cope with. “Why didn’t I switch my shift with Aaron when I had the chance?” He sighs groggily. 

“Maybe because last night’s drink-a-thon was far from planned?” Lucy offered. Her beautiful young face tense as she regards Michael carefully. He knows that she’s been told about his break up with Calum. Luke had called in to tell his boss, Ben about it the day after it had happened, to let him know why Michael would be missing his midweek shift. It’s an unfortunate fact that Ben happened to have a big mouth when it came to gossip, meaning that every one of Michael’s twelve colleagues had probably heard some dramatic re-telling of his heartbreak. “Drinking yourself into oblivion isn’t going to help in the long run, you know.” Lucy adds, biting her bottom lip worriedly. “I’m surprised that Luke thought it was a good idea to take you out.”

Michael rolls his eyes but it only serves to make his sensitive head twinge painfully. There’s a part of him that wants to tell Lucy to mind her own fucking business, as it turns out, he hasn’t got the energy to argue with her. He settles for a simple “it felt like a good idea at the time.” When that fails to ease the concerned expression on his young friend’s face Michael adds, “doesn’t everyone have that one night of binge drinking to forget an ex?” 

Shrugging, Lucy picks up the discarded dish cloth and begins to wipe down the dark wooden countertop of the bar. “I guess so, but if you turn up to work like this again, Ben’s probably going to send you to counselling or something.” A slight smile tugs at the corners of her lips as she glances at Michael over her shoulder.

Michael allows himself a small laugh. Ben is definitely known as the bar’s drama queen and it’s hard not find him faintly amusing at times like this. “Believe me,” Michael replies after another sip of water. “This hangover feels like it’s going to last all week! I’ve definitely learnt my lesson the hard way.”

Lucy’s smile brightens at that as she finishes wiping down the bar and flicks the cloth playfully at Michael’s thigh. “Glad to hear it.” She grins, before leaning against the counter opposite him, in front of the wall-mounted spirits. “Seriously, though... if you need to vent or eat a shit load of chocolate whilst burning every photo of Calum you have, just let me know.”

Feeling his heart swell at the kind gesture and loving expression on his friend’s face, Michael fights to hold his fragile emotions together. He manages a faint smile as he forces out a “thanks, Lu.” 

The sudden thudding of the front door opening and the blast of cool air drifting in from outside, alerts the two bartenders to a small group of new arrivals. They’re not regulars, Michael doesn’t recognise the middle age guy or the two women accompanying him - presumably his wife and daughter - judging by their apparent ages. Michael turns to face the bar properly, ready to take their order as the youngest lady in the group holds open the door for an apparent fourth party member. As soon as the last man steps through the doorway, Michael’s breath catches in his throat. For a second the tall twenty-something guy, with curly black hair looks so much like Calum that it makes Michael’s heart skip a beat. Only when the latest arrival shakes some of the rain from his dark locks and lifts his head fully to smile at the rest of his group does Michael realise that it’s not his ex after all. Despite the stranger’s face being much more angular and less friendly looking than Calum’s, Michael just can’t shake the unsettling feeling taking over him at the momentary thought of being face to face with Calum again. 

As the family survey the largely empty room before heading towards the bar, a painful memory forces it’s way to the front of Michael’s mind, playing out like a bad movie he just wants to forget.

_The stranger’s chocolate brown eyes sparkle as he steps forward to place his order, running his fingers through his dark curly hair as he surveys the contents of the fridges. Micheal had noticed him enter the bar with a couple of friends earlier in the evening and had, from that moment on, made absolutely sure to always be the one to clear their table so that he could have every opportunity to flirt subtly with this beautiful man. It’s seems to have worked because the dark haired man smiles almost knowingly as he orders three beers. If Michael was more confident he’d make a flirty comment or straight out give this guy his number. As it turns out, he’s a huge wuss and he finds himself just watching the stranger longingly, as he walks back to join his friends at the table by the window._

_Another disappointing hour or so passes, during which Michael manages to exchange only a few blushing glances with the handsome stranger between serving his friends a couple of rounds of shots. He hopes he doesn’t imagine the way the beautiful man’s gaze seems to linger on him whenever their eyes meet across the room._

_The rest of the bar is almost completely empty when Michael goes to clear the stranger’s table for the final time. “We’re getting ready to close up.” He smiles apologetically at the group, as he picks up a few of the shot glasses littering the table and places them into the plastic crate under his arm. “Do you need me to call you a cab or anything?” He finds himself staring directly into a pair of slightly hazy but entirely beautiful brown eyes as he asks the question, sounding much dreamier than he intends it to._

_One of the friends laughs and mumbles something that sounds like “can you even do that anymore?” Before continuing to mutter about mobile apps and Uber. Michael doesn’t really take any notice though, he’s far too busy getting lost in the chocolatey eyes staring back at him to care about cabs, apps or anything else at all really._

_“We can get an Uber...” the pretty stranger smiles, snapping Michael out of his daze._

_Suddenly aware that he’s staring like a creep, Michael turns back to the table mumbling “of course, sorry...” and continues gathering the glasses and beer bottles strewn over it. He’s vaguely aware of the three friends exchanging glances and giggles as his embarrassment reaches an all time high._

_Just as he hurriedly places the last glass into the crate and turns to leave, a strong hand grips Michael’s forearm and he snaps his gaze up to meet those gorgeous brown eyes again. He’s aware that his cheeks must be flaming red at this point but he’s powerless to break eye contact under the captivating gaze of this stranger._

_“Actually...” the curly haired man says cooly, “we were hoping you could give us an idea of where to go, like a good club or something, maybe?” His voice is slightly low and a little thicker than it probably is usually, doubtlessly due to the beer and shots he’d been downing all evening. “We’re all kinda new here...” the stranger prompts when Michael fails to reply after a pause that lasts just long enough to begin bordering on uncomfortable._

_Luckily Michael’s supervisor, Andrea, cuts in to tell the friends directions to the nearest cluster of clubs. Through the entirety of the short exchange the pretty stranger keeps his hand wrapped loosely around Michael’s lower arm and holds his gaze, allowing his friends to thank Andrea for the directions, before she bustles off to throw out the rest of the stragglers._

_After another short pause, Michael finally forces out a sentence, still unable to tear his eyes away for stranger’s. “Can I help you with anything else?” He asks._

_Before the pretty man can reply, one of his friends giggles “you can give him your name and number, ‘cos he’s too much a fucking wuss to ask you himself.”_

_The words haven’t fully penetrated Michael’s daze before the other friend adds. “Yeah, and if you two stare at each other like that for much longer, I’m scared you’ll start fucking right here.”_

_Both of the friends chuckle as the beautiful dark haired man finally releases Michael’s arm in order to throw a beer mat at each of the other men in quick succession. “You fucking dicks!” He groans, a slightly embarrassed scowl adorning his perfect face._

_It’s Michael’s turn to chuckle as he rests the plastic crate on the table and turns back to the pretty stranger, brushing a stray strand of his dyed blonde hair behind his ear. “You really want my number?” He asks quietly._

_The dark haired man’s expression softens as his gaze falls back to meet Michael’s. He nods, running his tongue over his bottom lip suggestively. “Yeah...” he answers, pulling his iPhone from the pocket of his leather jacket. “Maybe you can meet us at one of these clubs your friend just suggested?” He smiles hopefully, unlocking his phone with his thumb print and opening his contacts app before handing it to Michael, a hopeful glint in his eyes._

_The blonde returns the smile as he takes the phone and quickly types in his name and mobile number. “If you can wait ten minutes, l’ll do you one better and walk you there myself.” He hands back the phone, trying to hide the terror firing up inside of him, he’s never usually this forward, however something about this man makes him feel comfortable and a little more confident._

_“I’d like that...” The stranger beams, glancing at his phone just long enough to type out and send a brief message, before looking up to meet Michael’s gaze again. “Michael.”_

_The blonde feels as though he’s melting into a puddle. Just hearing this name said in that thick sounding voice has him feeling weak. He’s vaguely aware of his phone buzzing in the back pocket of his jeans but he doesn’t think to look at it._

_“Well.” The stranger grins as he carefully raises to his feet. “You have my number now too, but we’ll be waiting for you just out here.” He points to the street outside of the window before pulling a packet of cigarettes from the pocket of his black skinny jeans. “I’m Calum, by the way.” He adds as he brushes past Michael, prolonging the moment that his body takes to glide past Michael’s, ensuring the contact lasts as long as possible._

_Calum’s companions offer Michael knowing looks as they follow their friend out of the bar. The blonde locks the door behind them before carrying the crate of glasses to the back room._

_“Give that to me!” Lucy demands, her face alight with a giant smile. “I’ll finish up here with Andrea and Aaron, you go and get that hot guy’s dick...” she insists. “You fucking deserve it.”_

_Michael’s cheeks heat up to a dangerous temperature. “Lu!” He half giggles, half gasps. “I’m not that easy...”_

_Lucy fixes him with a ‘you could have fooled me’ glare, her head cocked to one side. “Dude...” she sighs. “You’d have spread your legs for him, right there in front of everyone if he asked you to!”_

_Despite the truth of his friend’s words, Michael acts faintly offended, scoffing and spluttering out disjointed words like “ugh... I’d never... I can’t believe...”_

_Lucy rolls her pretty brown eyes and places the crate she’d snatched, down on the counter next to the large sink. “I don’t blame you, he’s so hot, Mike.” She smirks. “If he was giving me those flirtatious glances, I’d already be riding that fucking hot piece of ass into his mattress.”_

_Michael splutters at his friend’s lack of a filter, but Lucy merely laughs and points determinedly towards the back door of the bar. “Just fucking go before I convince him that it’s really me he wants tonight...”_

_The blonde doesn’t need anymore convincing. He gives Lucy a brief hug before running to the staff room to grab his denim jacket. Less than five minutes later Michael’s stepping out into the main street towards the entrance of the bar. Calum and his friends are loitering near the pub’s large front window, a plumb of smoke surrounding them as they chat and laugh carelessly._

_Michael’s heart seems to skip in his chest as he strides closer to them, taking in the way Calum looks, leaning casually against the wall, one knee bent almost at a right angle, as his foot rests flatly against the brickwork of the pub._

_The dark haired man glances up as Michael approaches him, brown eyes brightening in a smile as their gazes meet in the dim light. He straightens up and stubs his cigarette out on the top of the bin beside the pub door. “You ready?” He asks, his lips still curled into a beautiful grin._

_Michael nods. He’s not usually a very trusting person, on the whole and he’d certainly never have even contemplated going clubbing with a bunch of strangers before tonight. Calum however, already seems like less of a stranger and he’s far too interesting and captivating to let go of so quickly. There’s no way Michael could have refused his offer, and when the dark haired man takes Michael’s hand in his own, intwining their fingers securely as they walk, it feels like a very welcome reward for being brave for once._

Michael’s hands are trembling as he stares blankly at the family, now approaching him, presumably to place their order. The pain in his chest caused by the memory of Calum, starts to consume him and he’s more grateful than he can ever express when Lucy steps forward to serve the new customers.

Unable to bring himself to say anything, Michael manages to pull himself together enough to help Lucy pour the drinks that the middle aged man reels off. As soon as the family have shuffled off to choose a table, Lucy takes Michael’s hand gently and leads him into the kitchen. She yells for Keira, the only other person on shift tonight, to cover the bar for a few minutes. As the youngest member of staff saunters out of the storage room and into the main room of the bar, Lucy turns back to Michael, the concerned expression from earlier troubling her pretty face yet again. “You’re really not okay are you?” She asks bluntly.

Michael wants to argue that he’s fine, but it’d be a lie, he’s the furthest from fine than he’s been in longer than he cares to remember. “I’ll be fine...” he tries. “I’m just being pathetic.”

Lucy places a small hand to Michael’s shoulder and squeezes it gently. “You’re just hurting, Mike.” She offers kindly. “It fucking sucks, but we’ve all been there.”

A sniffle escapes Michael as he leans into his friend’s touch. The Calum look-a-like had triggered all of the emotions his hangover had been subduing and it’s hard to contain them now that they’ve been awoken. His hands are still trembling a little when he rests one over the top of Lucy’s on his shoulder. 

“Why don’t you head off?” His colleague offers softly. “Kiera can help me close up.”

Michael shakes his head, “I can’t do that.” He mumbles. “I can’t afford to lose an hour’s pay...”

Lucy rolls her eyes fondly. “I’ll make sure you still get paid, dummy!” She gently nudges Michael towards the staff room. “Go home and sleep this hangover off, okay?” 

Nodding gratefully, Michael pulls his friend into a hug. “Thanks, Lu.” He sniffs. “I really owe you one.”

A slightly mischievous expression takes over Lucy’s face as she gives Michael one last squeeze, before pulling out of the embrace. “Yeah we can discuss that soon, I’ve been meaning to ask you to put in a good word for me with Luke’s hot brother...”

Michael manages a shaky chuckle. “I’ll make sure I get right on that.”

Lucy winks “feel better, Mike.” She says blowing him a friendly kiss before heading out of the kitchen. 

It takes just a couple of minutes for Michael to slip on his hoody and beanie hat before heading for the back door. Now that he’s alone again, the memory of the night he first met Calum continues to play out in his mind.

_Calum keeps hold of Michael’s hand for the entire fifteen minute walk to the club Calum’s friend Spencer had chosen based on the description Michael had given of the closest ones to the bar._

_Spencer and Calum’s other friend, Ashton walk ahead of them most of the time. Michael notices that Ashton walks with a slight limp and Spencer offers his arm to him a few times but Ashton always refuses it._

_When they reach the club and join the short queue outside the entrance, Calum untangles his fingers from Michael’s. the blonde has very little time mourn the loss before that dark haired man wraps a muscly arm around his shoulders. Michael automatically melts into the slightly taller man before taking advantage of the new situation to text Luke, knowing his roommate would worry if he didn’t hear from him._

_After stowing his phone back in the pocket of his jeans, Michael finds that they’re already at the front of the queue. Calum keeps him close until they’ve passed through the entrance hall and into the main room and come to a stop at the crowded bar. Only then does Calum’s arm drop from Michael’s shoulders. His hand finds Michael’s again really quickly though._

_Spencer and Ashton join Calum in insisting that Michael ‘catch up’ with them, drinks wise, ensuring that he has a triple JD and cola along with two shots of tequila while the rest of the group stick to a beer and one shot each._

_Michael gulps down each drink in quick succession, hoping that they’ll calm his nerves and help him relax around Calum. Spencer secures a table close to the bar, before heading off to buy more drinks. Before he knows it, the familiar tipsy, floaty feeling is filling Michael’s body and everything becomes a little hazy round the edges._

_At some point during Spencer’s and Ashton’s enthusiastic debate about which of them is more likely to ‘score’ tonight, Calum leans in close to Michael’s ear and asks “dance with me?” Just loud enough to be heard over the thudding baseline of the song flooding from the speakers._

_Michael nods without hesitation, which alone is proof that he’s tipsy because he’s always been well aware that he’s a terrible dancer. Because of this he’s rarely found anywhere near the dance floor of a club, especially when he’s trying hard to impress someone. He sort forgets all that when Calum comes to a stop amongst the mass of writhing bodies and turns Michael around gently. Less than a second later Calum is pressed against Michael’s back, his hands resting on the blonde’s hips as they sway. Michael leans into the hold almost instinctively, fighting hard not to gasp as Calum’s crotch brushes against his ass. He fails this task completely when a pair of soft lips graze the sensitive spot of his neck just under his ear. Subconsciously, Michael reaches up to tangle his fingers into Calum’s dark curls, encouraging more contact. Calum takes the hint, pressing his lips harder to the pale skin of Michael’s neck and sucking slightly._

_At some point during the next song, Calum stops kissing Michael’s neck in order to turn him around. His hands stay firmly on Michael’s hips as their gazes meet through the strobing lights. The alcohol is still making everything look soft at the edges but Calum’s face is in perfect focus as it slowly drifts closer to Michael’s._

_The kiss that’s been inevitable since they switched numbers a couple of hours ago, is soft at first as they both find their rhythm. Calum gently controls the speed and intensity of the kiss and Michael just allows himself to sink into it. The blonde wraps his arms around Calum’s neck to ensure their bodies stay as close as possible. Calum smiles into the kiss as he slides one of his hands around to Michael’s back, his fingers brushing slightly lower as though waiting for permission. Michael gives it in the form of a moan which is prolonged when Calum grips his ass cheek firmly through his jeans._

_Michael’s not sure how long they continue kissing like that. It could be just a few minutes or it could be hours. He does savour every moment though, loving the way Calum’s tongue slides over his bottom lip to part Michael’s. During every pause that they take for breath, Calum mutters things like - “so beautiful.” Or “want you, Mike.” - making Michael’s knees weaken even further._

_The kisses become more heated quickly after that and Michael moans into Calum’s mouth almost desperately, gripping the taller man’s dark curls tightly. He mumbles “want more...” as soon as they break apart again for air and Calum’s eyes darken with lust before he crashes his lips back to Michael’s._

_As soon as Calum slips his thigh between Michael’s, both men lose their battle of self control. Michael feels himself hardening beneath his jeans but he’s comforted as soon as he realises that Calum is too._

_Michael sides one hand between them to palm at Calum through his jeans. It’s so out of character for him to be so brazen but his need for Calum is adding to his intoxication and he can’t bring himself to care if people might call him a slut for it or say he’s easy. “Ugh, Calum.” He breaths into the darker man’s ear. “You feel big... wanna see.”_

_Calum grips Michael’s ass cheek harder as he replies. “Let’s get out of here then.”_

_Nodding, Michael mutters that his apartment is just a five minute cab ride away. Calum smiles, his expression kid of slack with lust. “You go and order the Uber, I need to tell Ash and Spence we’re leaving.” He places one more kiss to Michael’s lips. “I’ll meet you outside.”_

_Out on the street a few minutes later, a strong arm wraps itself around Michael’s shoulders as he checks the progress of his Uber. “It’s only three minutes away.” He smiles._

_Calum nods as he pulls Michael close. “Good because I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.” He whispers. “Your lips are fucking sinful, Michael.”_

_A blush heats up Michael’s cheeks but he manages to smile seductively. “You don’t even know half of what they can do yet.”_

The memory of how Calum had bitten his bottom lip as he eyed him hungrily hurt Michael’s heart. To distract himself, he pulls out his phone to send Luke a text, letting him know he’d finished work a little early. 

The streets were about as quiet as could be expected at 11pm on a Sunday night but Michael’s used to it. Usually he’d listen to music but his head still feels fragile and it feels as though every song he has saved to his phone has a Calum memory attached to it. Instead he tries to fill his mind with other things. It turns out to be difficult though, with Calum’s face still swimming in the front of his mind.

A miserable feeling has seeped it’s way into Michael’s bones by the time he’s reached the entrance to the dark pathway he often used as a shortcut. Luke always tells him not to use it at night like this, _”It only takes an extra ten minutes to stick to the main road!”_ he’d insist, but the overwhelming need to be home as soon as possible means that Michael doesn’t listen to his sensible side this time.

Luke’s reply to the text message Michael had sent a few minutes ago causes his phone to vibrate in his pocket as he steps out of the last of the faint light from the street lamp on the main road into almost total darkness. 

A familiar sense of uneasiness settles over Michael as he pulls out his phone to read Luke’s message. It turns out to be a simple. ‘Okay, see you soon.’ He doesn’t bother replying again, stuffing his phone back into the pocket of his hoody before quickening his pace.

At first Michael ignores the footsteps he thinks he can hear behind him. _It’s just an echo._ he tells himself. That theory becomes unlikely when the ‘echo’ doesn’t change in time with Michael’s quickening pace. _Stop being a drama queen..._ the voice in his head insists. _Other people use this path as well as you!_ To ease his nerves a little, Michael takes out his phone again, planning to call Luke so that they can talk for the remainder of the journey. 

Michael has barely unlocked his phone before it’s snatched from his hand. He instinctively tries to yell but a gloved hand covers his mouth to muffle the sound. He struggles against the strong arms holding him back as another attacker sends a sickening punch to Michael’s stomach. 

The blonde doubles over in pain, a tiny agonised groan escaping him before he’s knocked to the ground. Heavy boots collide with his back and ribs before hands rifle through his pockets, presumably in search of his wallet. When his attackers finally find what they want, Michael hopes that they’ll leave. Instead he hears the muggers let out a sneering laugh before kicking him hard a few more times. 

He’s dipping in and out of consciousness by the time the attackers finally run away. Trying to move only proves to worsen the pain and nausea, causing his head to spin unpleasantly. Accepting defeat, Michael simply curls his legs in closer to his stomach to at least keep a little warmer as blackness once again seems to swallow him whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... pretty nervous about this one guys :/ 
> 
> Your feedback would mean a lot to me!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna be honest with you guys. I had three really encouraging comments from three very amazing writers on my last chapter, so **shutupluke, irwah** and my lovely Katy **merlypops** this chapter is for you! (if any of you are looking for more fics to read I can strongly recommend that you pay a visit to each of their profiles!) My other friends have also continued to give me positive feedback and support on this, so I've been spurred on to update very quickly!

It’s not clear what had woken him up at first, even though Calum hadn’t been in the deepest of sleeps. He actually hadn’t slept well at all since the night he broke things off with Michael. His brain is still a little sluggish though, as consciousness forces its way into his brain, his tired eyes taking a few long moments to adjust to the darkness filling his room. 

A loud knocking echos through the apartment just as a light flickers on out in the hallway. A second later, Ashton’s uneven footsteps pad past his room, towards the front door. Calum curiously slips out of bed, grabbing a hoody from the peg on his door and slipping it on over his t-shirt before joining Ashton in the hall.

The older friend is standing at the front door looking through the peephole, his sandy hair is sleep ruffled and his movements seem a little slower than usual.

“What time is it?” Calum asks, slightly perplexed, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Is someone knocking?”

Ashton nods worriedly as he unlocks the front door. “It’s Spencer...”

Calum bites his bottom lip nervously. It must be way past midnight by now. “Why would he come over so late?”

Ashton shrugs but doesn’t really get a chance to answer properly. As soon as the front door is open wide enough, the oldest friend nudges his way inside. He looks pale and a little panicked as he grips Ashton’s arm. “Ash, I’m sorry to wake you.” He says. He sounds a little out of breath. “Is Cal awake?”

The sandy haired man nods, his brow creasing in a concerned frown as he gestures down the hall to where Calum’s leaning silently against the frame of his bedroom door. When Spencer meets his gaze the uneasy feeling settling in Calum’s stomach starts to spread. “What is it, Spence?” He asks, not entirely sure that he’s ready for the answer. He can tell by his friend’s sacred hazel eyes that something terrible must have happened.

“It’s Michael.” Spencer replies shakily, walking over to Calum and resting a trembling hand on his shoulder. “He’s been attacked, Cal...”

Calum’s heart sinks, nausea rising in his throat at the news. 

“What?!” Ashton gasps, limping over to join his friends. “What happened? How’d you know...”

Spencer turns to Ashton, “I was texting Luke.” He replies simply. “Michael’s roommate, we kinda got close to... last night... but that’s another story.” The oldest man sighs, shaking head. “Basically I was texting Luke all night and suddenly he stopped replying. A few minutes later I get a frantic call from him asking if I could meet him at the hospital.” Spencer breathes hard as he turns to meet Calum’s gaze again. “Sounds like Michael was mugged on his way home from work.”

Calum feels kind of numb as the reality of the situation sinks in. “How bad is he hurt?” He asks quietly.

There’s a sympathetic gleam in Spencer’s eye when he replies. “Luke was in the cab on the way to the hospital when we spoke so he hasn’t seen Michael yet.” Spencer shrugs. “But it sounds like they beat him up pretty bad...” 

A trickle of anger starts to melt away Calum’s numbness as he imagines all of the horrific injuries his beautiful Michael could have sustained. “ _They_ did this to him.” He shudders, glancing over at Ashton.

Spencer grips Calum’s shoulder gently, drawing his attention back. “We don’t know that...”

Calum ignores Spencer’s feeble attempt at comforting him. He immediately snaps his gaze back to Ashton to share a knowing look with the only other person that truly knows what they’re dealing with. Without warning, youngest friend turns suddenly, heading back into his bedroom. He knows from experience that if this is because of him, his old _buddies_ will want to gloat. 

Sure enough, as Calum picks up his phone from his bedside table, there’s a message from an anonymous number waiting for him. He feels sick as he reads the simple words on the screen. _We warned you_

“They’re trying to test you, Cal.” Ashton warns gently, meeting Calum’s gaze after reading the text over the younger man’s shoulder. “Don’t let them win.” He urges, a note of desperation forcing its way into his voice. “We need to move on ASAP.” 

Spencer snatches the phone from Calum to read the message, before looking between his two friends. “Are you fucking kidding?” He demands. “You’re both still gonna leave, aren’t you?!” He drops the phone onto Calum’s bed, shaking his head in exasperation.

Calum falters, glancing between both of his friends as though the answer to which one of them is right, might suddenly appear printed on one of their foreheads.

“Be honest with yourself, Calum.” Spencer demands, his eyes filled with something akin to rage. “You’re in love with Michael! Your heart’s fucking shattering at the thought of him lying beat up in a hospital bed, but here you are...” He flings his arm towards the vague area that Calum’s standing in. “Talking about fucking off, without even going to check on him!” 

Hearing the situation spelled out so bluntly hurts Calum to the core. On the surface it feels as though he’s being a stone hearted bastard, leaving his perfectly innocent lover in goodness knows what state while he drives off somewhere new with Ashton.

“Ignore him, Calum.” Ashton pleads, shouldering last Spencer to hold Calum’s arms firmly, forcing his younger friend to look him in the eye. “You know that visiting him is the worst mistake you can make.”

Calum stares back at Ashton almost blankly, still numb and at a loss for what to do for the best.

“Y’know what.” Spencer growls, throwing up his hands as though he’s finally giving up trying to get his point across. “I’m gonna go and offer Luke a little moral support, while he’s waiting on news about his best fucking friend.” He looks Calum dead in the eye, his rage burning deep beneath the usually soft hazel surface. “The man you’re supposed _love_ ” he points an accusing finger at Calum before storming from the room. A couple of seconds later, the front door slams, signalling the oldest friend’s exist.

Calum sinks down onto his bed, wrapping his arms around himself as every possible negative emotion fights for dominance inside of him. He’s vaguely aware of Ashton settling down next to him but all he can focus on is his whirlwind of feelings. Before just one emotion can claim him entirely, a seemingly random memory creeps to the front of his mind, dulling the anger, guilt, sadness and fear threatening to consume him.

_”Have I ever told you, that you’re the best boyfriend in the whole world?” Michael asks, smiling wearily as he slips into the passenger seat of Calum’s car and closes the door. The sound of heavy rain pounding around them quietens a little as the locks click into place. Michael’s blonde hair is soaked flat to his head, water dripping down his pale face as he leans over to place a soft kiss to Calum’s lips._

_The word ‘boyfriend’ had used to strike fear and panic into Calum. For the first couple of months of their relationship, he’d refused to call Michael his boyfriend and flinched every time Michael had said it to or about him. Slowly though, the fear of the word and the concept had melted away. Michael has since become his safe place. Calum had never felt more comfortable and relaxed as he did with Michael._

_“All I did is pick you up from work.” Calum chuckles, brushing a strand of Michael’s sodden hair behind his ear. “You’re easily pleased, Clifford.”_

_Michael shrugs as he fastens his seatbelt. “But it’s after 1am and you could be cuddled up in bed right now.” He beams over at Calum as though he’s doing the most amazing, most selfless thing of all time. “Sacrificing that just to give me a ride home, makes you pretty fucking special, if you ask me.”_

_Calum knows that he’s staring back at Michael all too fondly. Faintly he wonders if it’s normal to be so completely gone for someone just four months after meeting them. “Well I wasn’t sleepy and my bed is much more appealing when you’re in it.”_

_Two pink blotches start to colour up Michael’s cheeks as he smiles. “So this ‘selfless act’ is just an attempt at getting your dick sucked?” Michael teases, placing a hand on Calum’s thigh and squeezing gently._

_Calum smirks. “Well if you’re offering...”_

_An adorable chuckle escapes Michael as his blush deepens. It ruins the ‘sexy vibe’ he’d been trying to create but Calum can’t bring himself to care when his boyfriend looks so fucking adorable. “Well maybe you can join me in the shower and I’ll see what I can do...”_

_Calum places a kiss to Michael’s cheek. “I’d love to.” He groans softly. “But then we’d miss the pizza delivery.”_

_The look of pure joy and admiration in Michael’s eyes is enough to make Calum’s heart burst. He loves that the simplest little things make Michael so happy._

_“You ordered pizza?” The blonde asks, almost disbelievingly._

_Calum nods as he settles back in his seat ready to begin the drive home. “From your favourite place too.” He adds smugly._

_“Ugh” Michael sighs resting his head against the back of the seat, his eyes drifting closed as his fatigue starts to show on his pretty face. “I love you.”_

_The words send shivers through Calum. No one had said they loved him since he was a little kid, and never in his life had anyone uttered them to him in this context. He stares at the beautiful man next to him, silently processing the situation. Michael, perfect, loving, caring, sweet, gorgeous Michael loves **him** , Calum - a cold, distant fuck up._

_It seems to take a moment for Michael to realise that he’d let those words slip out. When he does, his emerald eyes snap open and widen in something that looks a lot like fear. He starts to splutter an apology but Calum doesn’t want to hear it. He pulls Michael into an intense kiss. A gesture that he pours every ounce of himself into. When they pull apart for air a moment later Calum rests his forehead against Michael’s as he whispers. “I love you too”_

“Calum.” Ashton whispers softly, his arm wrapped loosely around the younger man’s shoulders now. “You know that this is a test don’t you? If you go to see Michael, they’ll know that they can use him to get to you.”

In his heart, Calum knows that Ashton’s words are true. He knows that the people who did this to Michael will be just waiting to pounce again the very moment that Calum makes it clear how much he cares for Michael.

“I really think we should hit the road sooner, rather than later.” Ashton insists, determinedly keeping his tone as even and as calm as possible. “Before they hurt him again or go after Spencer.”

Calum buries his face in hands. He wants to take Ashton’s sensible advice. Michael’s much more likely to be safe when Calum’s hundreds of miles away from him. If he’s entirely honest with himself, though, the thought of being that far away from Michael makes him hurt in ways that he never thought was possible. If he was gonna follow his heart rather than his brain on this, he’d already be by Michael’s side at the hospital right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that the balance of this worked out. Please let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was unexpectedly difficult to write, so sorry about the wait!
> 
> Thank you so much to Katie and Holly for helping me through this chapter! Without these two angels I’m worried this fic would have died!
> 
> Trigger warning for references to mugging and violent crime.

Michael’s heart is racing in his chest as his eyes flicker open, the memory of his bad dream fading as he tells himself it wasn’t real. It’s been less than two days since he was attacked, yet he’s already tired of being plagued by the nightmares of dark pathways, shadowy figures and evil sniggering. The fear and pain caused by his mugging is worsened by the fact that his head is still spinning from the whole Calum situation. His ex boyfriend had been making regular appearances in Michael’s broken dreams since the attack. In the latest one, calum has simply stood by and watched Michael get beaten, making no effort to help despite the blonde’s calls to him for help.

Forcing the lingering remnants of his dream out of his head, Michael opens his eyes fully. The daylight filling his bedroom is a muted grey. The sky outside of his rain spattered window is still covered in thick black clouds, just as it had been before he’d fallen asleep. 

He glances over at his bedside table and carefully reaches out to pick up his phone. His cracked ribs protest painfully against the movement and a tiny groan escapes him. Michael clicks the side button on his phone so that he can see the time. He has to ignore the picture he’d set as his wallpaper a few weeks ago. It’s a typical ‘couple’ photo, Calum’s beaming grin and shining brown eyes light up the screen as Michael kisses his cheek. It still hurts the blonde’s heart to look at the picture every bit as much as it did the night that Calum broke things off. He can’t bring himself to change it though, at least not yet. Focusing on the white numbers on his screen, which tell him it’s almost 2.30pm, Michael realises he’d fallen asleep around a hour and a half ago, he knows that because one of the last things he remembers hearing before drifting off, was the lunchtime news bulletin on the radio in the open-plan living area on the other side of his bedroom door. 

As he lies there, allowing his aching body to adjust to consciousness again, Michael faintly realises that his bedroom door is still ajar but that the radio isn’t playing anymore and he can’t hear the T.V either. It’s unlike Luke to sit in complete silence and Michael is vaguely curious as to whether his housemate might have popped out or something, until he hears the younger man’s voice from the living area. 

“...he’s better than he was, I guess.” Luke sighs. He sounds exhausted and it makes Michael feel guilty. His roommate had been practically waiting on him hand and foot since the attack, doing all of the extra chores as well as sorting out things for Michael like arranging his replacement phone and organising time off work for him while his nasty injuries heal. The blonde cant even begin put into words how much Luke means to him, he’s not sure what he’d do without him if he was honest. “The doctors say his cracked ribs will heal on their own and his bruises should start fading within the week.” Judging by how clearly he can hear his best friend, Michael guesses that Luke is sitting on the sofa opposite his bedroom door.

For a moment, Michael thinks that Luke must be talking to someone on the phone. After a second though, another voice replies. “I wish I could do more to help.” 

Michael recognises the voice immediately as Spencer’s. It conjures up memories of the last time he saw the older man. The shots, the tears, the creepy guy at the club and the embarrassing phone call to Calum...

“Dropping by to check in on him is a nice enough gesture.” Luke replies, the fondness in his voice, undeniable.

There’s a moment’s silence during which Michael can almost feel the sexual tension through the wall. He shifts carefully to sit up a little so that he can hear better. His ribs twinge again and he stifles a pained gasp.

“Michael’s still my friend and I care about him. Even if Calum’s trying to push him away.” Spencer almost whispers, “but I’d be lying if I said he’s the only reason I’m here, Luke.”

Michael has to suppress a laugh as he clearly imagines Luke’s flushed face and bewildered bright eyes. He knows his friend is hopeless at flirting and the silence that follows Spencer’s confession strengthens that argument. Eager to see what happens next, Michael carefully and slowly gets to his feet, gritting his teeth against the pain that seems to spread through every inch of him. His curiosity is too strong to let the soreness win out, though. 

Careful to stay shielded from his friends’ view, Michael leans against his wall, spying on Luke and Spencer through the very narrow gap between the door and it’s frame. 

Luke is angled away from Michael so the blonde can’t see his friend’s face as he asks “what do you mean?” The slight tremble in his voice betrays his nerves and anticipation though, suggesting some degree of understanding.

Spencer gently places a hand on Luke’s cheek, “I know the timing sucks, but I like you Luke.” He confesses quietly, searching the younger man’s face with his sincere hazel eyes. 

The inevitable kiss is tender and sweet, filling Michael with a renewed _need_ for what he and Calum shared. 

Luke cuts the kiss short, jumping to his feet as though he’s having second thoughts before standing awkwardly in front of the sofa, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “You’re right...” He stammers. “The timing is way off.” He glances back towards Michael’s bedroom for a second before pointing to the kitchen area. “It’s almost time for Michael to take his pain meds, I should...”

Spencer opens his mouth to speak but Luke bustles off behind the kitchen counter, mumbling about how he has a lot to do. The older man slumps in his seat and slaps his forehead slightly. After composing himself, he turns in his seat to face Luke. “I’m sorry.” He says simply. “Luke, I shouldn’t have said that...”

Running the tap to fill up a glass, Luke shrugs, his face still bright pink from embarrassment. “No, it’s fine.” He mumbles. “It’s just not a great time.”

Michael watches as Spencer seems to think through his options. He obviously doesn’t want to push Luke too far or come across as a creep but it seems that he’s not willing to give up on Luke just yet. “I know, but is there ever a perfect time to catch feelings for someone?” The older man asks as he rises to his feet and crosses the room to join Luke in the kitchen. He places a hand on Luke’s shoulder gently. “Can we at least talk about all of this?” He asks softly.

Luke places the full glass of water on the kitchen counter and turns off the tap before facing Spencer properly. “I can’t, Spencer.” He replies quietly. “It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just...”

“I’m Calum’s friend and Michael’s feelings come first.” Spencer interrupts, stroking Luke’s shoulder gently through his sweater. “I get that.” 

The internal battle taking place behind Luke’s eyes hurts Michael more than any kiss with his ex’s best friend ever could. Part of him wants to yell at them both to stop worrying about him. His problems with Calum have nothing to do with either of the men in the kitchen right now. 

“Maybe you can take me out once things have settled down.” Luke sighs, seemingly unable to tear his gaze away from Spencer’s. “But right now, my best friend is hurting and I have to be there for him.”

Michael’s heart feels full to the brim with love for Luke. Not many people would give up a chance on starting a new relationship with someone they’re clearly very into, just to play nursemaid for their stupid friend who happened to get himself mugged. 

Michael’s about to blow his cover and burst out of his bedroom insisting that Luke goes out with Spencer immediately, but he’s stopped in his tracks by the oldest friend’s concerned tone as he whispers. “I care about you Luke” He grips the youngest man’s shoulder gently, holding his gaze steadily. “And I care about Michael, too.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “So I’m gonna do something, I probably shouldn’t.”

The curiosity and uncertainty in Luke’s blue eyes mirrors the feelings swirling around inside of Michael as he watches the situation unfold from behind his bedroom door.

“I love Calum, I honestly do.” Spencer explains. “He’s been a good friend to me and I’d never usually betray him, but I care too much about you to risk you getting caught up in his shit.”

A deep frown colours Luke’s face as he takes a step back from Spencer. “What do you mean _his shit_?” He asks. 

The oldest friend finally drops his gaze as he leans back against the counter. “I don’t know the whole story but I think he has a pretty shady past, Luke.” He explains carefully. “He should have been honest with Michael about it from the start, but he thought he’d outrun them.”

A faint glimmer of fear joins the medley of emotions filling Michael’s chest. He’d always assumed that Calum was emotionally distant and vague about the details of his life to maintain his mysterious facade. Of course the blonde had figured there was something more but he’d only ever really considered the possibility that Calum was trying to bury his old life as a form of self preservation. 

“Outrun who?” Luke questions curiously, his blue eyes much harsher than they were a second ago. 

Spencer bites his bottom lip anxiously, seemingly regretting his decision to tell Luke anything, already. “I’ve told you, Luke.” He sighs. “I don’t know who they are, he never uses their names. I just know that they’ve got some old scores to settle and they don’t give a fuck who they hurt in the process.” His dark gaze settles for a second on Michael’s bedroom door.

It’s then that realisation hits the blonde, the same moment that Luke gasps. “Are you saying Michael was attacked on purpose?” His hand grasps at Spencer’s arm. “Because of _Calum_?”

It’s been a long time since Michael’s heard such contempt in his best friend’s voice and despite his confusion it pains him that that hatred is directed towards Calum.

Spencer shushes Luke gently. “I’ll tell you everything I know so far, if you promise not to tell anyone.” He whispers. “Especially not Michael or the police.”

Luke’s expression darkens even more. “Those are the first people I should be telling, Spencer!” He hisses, a note of anger in his voice now. “You’re telling me that Michael was attacked on purpose and I’m supposed to just accept that and move on?” He steps away from the older man, backing into the counter opposite Spencer. 

“It’ll only make things worse if you do.” Spencer pleads. “You just have to trust me, Luke. Please.” He reaches out his hand as though he’s waiting for Luke to take it. 

Luke sakes his head, dropping his gaze, silently thinking over what Spencer has just told him. “I barely know you.” He mumbles, his anger dissipating as Spencer moves forward to place a hand on his shoulder. “Why should I trust you?”

The words are barely out of Luke’s mouth before Spencer utters his reply. “Because I want to keep you and your best friend safe.” His voice is low but his sentiment seems sincere. Luke obviously has the same inclination because when he lifts his head to meet Spencer’s concerned hazel eyes, all of the doubts seem to visibly leave the younger man.

“Why do you care so much?” Luke asks, pulling Spencer closer, seemingly acting on some subconscious impulse, judging by the dreamy look in his eyes.

Spencer tentatively connects a kiss for the second time in less than five minutes. Luke melts into it this time though, tangling his long fingers into Spencer’s dark hair. “I think you know.”

After a moment of tense eye contact, it’s Luke that connects their lips again, mumbling. “I want to trust you. Don’t make me regret it.” between the increasingly heated kisses.

Michael backs away from his door quietly. It suddenly feels wrong to be watching his friends as their kisses seem to become more intimate and the possibility of Michael learning more about his attack and it’s links to Calum becomes less and less likely. 

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Michael thinks over Spencer’s words. It seems ridiculous to him that a seemingly random mugging could somehow be linked back to Calum. 

Shuffling footsteps followed by a door closing, signal the fact that Spencer and Luke have moved their makeout session to Luke’s bedroom.

Not particularly eager to overhear his roommate’s first sexual interaction with his ex’s best friend, Michael pushes himself up from the bed and crosses the room as quickly as his injuries will allow him. He throws on a black jacket over his sweater, grabs his phone and quietly opens his bedroom door. At first his only intention is to leave the apartment for a while to think things over without the embarrassment of hearing Spencer and Luke in the next room. He picks up his keys from the little table by the front door before leaving the apartment, closing the door quietly so as to not disturb the fraternising couple in the next room. 

A vague plan to grab a coffee at the cafe he and Luke frequent on those tired weekend mornings when they can’t be bothered to make their own breakfast, forms in his brain, but he barely makes it to the stairwell at the end of the corridor before his ribs twinge with pain. He hasn’t moved this much in almost two days and his injuries are evidently not pleased about it. 

By the time Michael reaches the bottom of the three flights of stairs, he concedes that walking the two and a half streets to his favourite cafe isn’t going to happen. He leans heavily against the bannister as he pulls out his phone and unlocks it. As he opens the Uber app it dawns on him just how ridiculous it would be to get a cab to a cafe that’d take less than five minutes to walk to. As the app loads, Michael’s inadvertently reminded of the last time he used it. His mind immediately rewinding a few days to when he was standing outside Calum’s apartment building in the dead of night, tears streaming down his face as his heart breaks in his chest. A tiny voice in his head whispers through the memory, _go and see him..._ It suggests innocently. _He owes you some fucking answers._ Michael hesitates for a moment, knowing that visiting Calum is a bad idea. _If he knows who did this to you and why then he damn fucking well needs to tell you._ A cold determination settles in his chest as he types Calum’s address into the app before hitting the ‘make booking’ button.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this! There’s still a long way to go yet but I think it’s about to start getting more dramatic...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I have to say a huge thank you to Katy for her endless help and encouragement.
> 
> This chapter hints at a new character that I hope you’ll love! It is pretty emo though.
> 
> Trigger warnings for references to a violent mugging/physical violence.

After scribbling ‘plates and bowls’ on the last of the pile of boxes from the kitchen with his well used sharpie, Calum glances at his watch. Ashton’s due to finish his last shift at the cafe over the road any minute now. 

They still have a fair bit of packing to do before they have to hand over their keys in a couple of days, but Calum’s pretty sure that Ashton won’t be hurrying back when he finishes work.

With his head so full of Michael, leaving town and all of his past mistakes, Calum hadn’t really focused on Ashton that much. He constantly feels really bad about that because Ashton has always been there for him, no matter what. He was about to give up so much, yet again, because of Calum.

Now that he finally has a moment to reflect, Calum realises that his best friend has been pretty glum about the prospect of resigning from the cafe. Calum had always thought that it was nothing more than a minimum wage job that Ashton has to work ridiculous hours at, just to make ends meet. Looking back over the past few months however, Calum realises that it means much more than that to Ashton.

“I like the people there!” The older friend had insisted when Calum had dared to question Ashton’s reluctance to leave, despite their pressing need to move on. “It’s the first job I’ve ever had where I really felt like I fitted in.”

Calum had simply nodded at his friend, hiding his knowing smile behind his coffee cup. He was and still is, more than 99% sure that there is in fact, only one member of staff at the cafe that made Ashton’s imminent departure harder for him. Furthermore Calum wouldn’t hesitate to bet every penny he had to his name that that person was Katy, a pretty girl around their age who’d started working at the cafe a few months ago. Apparently she’d moved here after a death in the family because she wanted a fresh start somewhere new. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more Calum was sure that he knew more about Katy than he did about a lot of his friends, thanks to Ashton’s very frequent new bulletins. The older friend would often arrive home with announcements such as “I spent my brake with Katy today and we drank coffee together, vanilla lattes are her favourite.” And “Katy told me the most interesting facts about cats today, she really loves cats...” When Calum had interrupted to state “but you hate cats...” he’d been met with a cushion flying at his head, because apparently, interrupting a story about Katy was a cardinal sin.

The sadness that had settled over Calum since his break up with Michael seems to dig its sharp claws even deeper into his chest at the thought of yet another potentially beautiful relationship being killed off before it’s even had a chance to start. And all because of Calum.

The familiar dark blanket of self hatred and self pity begins to devour him again, but before Calum can disappear beneath it fully, a knock on the door gives him a very welcome shift of focus. He’s so pleased about the distraction from his thoughts that Calum doesn’t even stop to consider that he hasn’t buzzed anyone in through the main doors of the apartment building. Usually he’d demand to know who was at his door before he’d open it, having lived with a deep fear of being tracked down for so long. Today though, his heart is sad and his head is so full of regrets and guilt that he doesn’t even use the little spy hole to check that it’s not one of his ‘old buddies’ finally calling by to finish him off. On some level, Calum feels like he might actually welcome that. At least the people he loved would be free to live and love as they pleased if he was gone.

The dark cloud of negativity followed Calum to the front door and stayed with him as he opened it. In the back of his mind he’s expecting it to be Spencer standing on the other side of the door. The last person he’s expecting it to be is the one man standing in front of him right now. “Michael...” the word escapes Calum like a pained gasp. So many emotions hit him all at once, that he’s very nearly knocked off balance by them.

Calum had reluctantly resigned himself over the last few days, to the fact that he was never going to see Michael again. Yet here he is, standing in front of Calum looking as beautiful as ever, despite the bruises on his face and the slightly haunched stance he was adopting. Calum just wants to wrap him in a hug, protect him from everything bad in the world, but that voice in his head whispers _it’s you he needs protection from._ Calum’s confusion and conflicting thoughts result in a complete lack of words or movement. He simply stares at Michael in a state of shock, vaguely wishing he’d had a warning that this would happen.

Michael stares back at him through watery green eyes, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his hands buried into the pockets of his hoodie. His body language suggests he’s nervous, scared even. But the fact that he’s here at all shows a level of bravery and perhaps even love, that Calum has never fully appreciated that Michael harbours. “Can I come in?” The blonde asks, breaking the silence and the tension, tentatively.

Calum knows on some level that it’s a bad idea, but the thought of turning Michael away now that he’s here hurts too much. Beneath all of the logic and best intentions, he wants to be close to Michael and it’s that ache in his heart that wins out as he steps aside to let Michael in.

The blonde smiles weakly as he slowly walks past Calum into the apartment. He’s evidently trying hard not to let the pain he’s feeling show too much. Calum can see it though, in the hesitant movements and stiff posture as well in Michael’s pale features.

“I wish you’d called.” Calum finds himself saying as he follows Michael into the living room after closing the front door, still feeling dazed.

Michael lowers himself onto the sofa stiffly, eyeing Calum carefully as though he’s worried he’s made a bad decision by turning up here. “Why?” He asks timidly, “so that you can ignore me some more?” He shrugs slightly. “Besides, I couldn’t have _called_ because Luke deleted your number from my contacts.”

It seems only right to Calum, that Luke would try to protect his best friend any way that he can at times like these. Deleting a seemingly heartless ex boyfriend’s phone number is well within those parameters. That doesn’t stop it from hurting, though. 

Michael seems to notice the way Calum curls in on himself, because his expression softens a little. “We really need to talk, Cal.” he states softly, patting the seat beside him gently. 

Calum hesitates. His heart is already aching in his chest and he knows if he’s gets any closer to Michael it’ll only make him feel worse. “There’s nothing to say, Mike.” He replies, trying so hard to keep his voice even. “I’m leaving in a couple of days...”

Michael’s eyes brighten with unshed tears. “Really, Calum?” He asks, his voice shaking with emotion. “You’re actually _still_ leaving without an explanation, even after this?” He gestures to the dark bruises on his face as the first tears begin to spill down his cheeks.

Panic rises in Calum as he feigns ignorance. There’s no way Michael can be implying what Calum thinks he is. “I’m sorry you were attacked. Kids these days suck, but it doesn’t change anything! I have to leave.” 

Michael shakes his head wearily, holding Calum’s gaze almost desperately. “I know it wasn’t just _kids_.” He counters. “I know that you have more to do with this than you’re letting on.”

Trapped under Michael’s glassy gaze, Calum almost crumbles. The first words of his confession are perched on the end of his tongue, ready to spill the whole truth about every event in his fucked up life leading up this very moment. Before he can utter the first syllable, however, Michael's phone vibrates loudly in the pocket of his hoodie. The blonde takes it out, looks at the screen briefly before denying the call and dropping it onto his lap before returning his gaze to Calum. Durning those few seconds the younger man loses his nerve. Instead of the truth another lie slips far too easily from his lips “that’s not true, let me take you home...”

A frustrated growl escapes Michael. “Stop lying!” He pleads, a fresh flurry of tears making their way down his pale face. “For once, tell me the fucking truth, Calum!”

Calum drops into the seat next to Michael and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Michael.” He chokes out over the lump rising in his throat. “But I can’t do this...” he’s cut off again by Michael’s phone vibrating on his lap. This time he notices that it’s Luke’s name displayed on the screen. “You should answer that.” Calum suggests. “Maybe he can come and pick you up?”

Michael turns off the phone before shoving it back into his pocket. “I overheard Spencer telling Luke that whoever did this to me is trying to punish you.” He blurts out. “I think I deserve some answers.”

Even though the younger man has many questions about how Michael found all of this out, Calum reasons that they’re better posed to Spencer rather than Michael. It feels wrong but, once again, he almost drowns in the overwhelming need to tell his ex boyfriend everything. Maybe that's because a part of him knows that Michael is entirely right, he deserves answers, even though he’s probably much safer not knowing them. “please, Mike.” He pleads. “Just forget it and let me take you home.”

A fresh anger flares up in Michael’s sad eyes. “I’m not leaving until you give me some answers!” He insists, a pained expression colouring his face as his arm moves up to hold his injured ribs.

It doesn’t really matter about anything else in that moment, Michael’s in pain and all Calum wants in the whole world is to make it stop. He strokes the blonde’s shoulder gently with one hand as he lifts his other to wipe the tears from Michael’s cheek.

For a moment Michael melts into the touch, resting his face in Calum’s hold, his eyes drifting closed as his expression softens again.

Calum has to fight so hard against the urge to kiss Michael. The familiar love and _need_ to be as close to the blonde as possible starts to seep through the cracks in the weak armour he’s been trying to build up around the emotions he has no right to feel anymore.

Maybe it’s some higher power or blind fate that causes another distraction, before Calum fully loses the battle to keep his feelings at bay. This time it’s his own phone that rings, chiming one of the annoying pre-set tunes and vibrating against the wooden top of his coffee table.

“Ignore it.” Michael whispers, eyes still closed as he presses his cheek harder against Calum’s palm. 

It takes every ounce of self control Calum can muster to take his hand away from Michael and pick up his phone. Spencer’s name is shining up at him as the irritating tune continues. Calum accepts the call and places the phone to his ear. He doesn’t have chance to utter a greeting before his friend asks. “Is Michael with you?” His voice is clearly laced with concern.

Calum’s eyes are still fixed on Michael as his brow knits together in confusion. “Yeah.” He replies distractedly. “But how did you know he was...”

Spencer cuts Calum off with a relieved sigh “okay, Luke’s gonna bring me home and pick him up.” As the relief flood his tone, the eldest friend continues. “Is he okay?” 

A sigh escapes Michael as he he slumps back in his seat. “You can tell him I’m not leaving until I get some answers, I don’t care who’s coming to get me.” Despite the pain in his face and his defeated body language, there’s a degree of determination in his voice.

“I’ll make sure he’s okay until Luke gets here.” Calum promises, before lowering his voice and turning away from Michael slightly. “And then I think you have some explaining to do, Spencer. What the fuck...”

Spencer cuts Calum off, his tone sounding distracted. “Don’t even think about lecturing me, Cal.” He warns calmly. “You made your decision to keep your past a secret, that doesn’t mean I have to agree with it and it sure as hell doesn't mean I'm going to put people I care about at risk.”

A spark of anger flickers to life in Calum’s chest. He knows that he has every reason to be mad at Spencer for spilling even the tiniest drop of information about things that the younger man has fought so hard to keep under wraps for so long, especially to someone he barely knows and _especially_ when the person that Calum most wants to keep out of it all, can overhear the whole conversation. “I’ve told you a million times!” He snaps. “I’m doing this because I fucking care!” He lowers his voice even though Michael’s still sitting right next to him. “We’ll talk later, just tell Luke to hurry.” Calum ends the call and drops his phone back onto the table before turning back to Michael.

The blonde is starting at him expectantly. “Doing what, because you care?” He asks. There’s a spark in his eyes now and a note to his voice that suggests he’s hopeful that he’s close to finally receiving some answers.

“It doesn’t matter.” Calum insists. “It doesn’t concern you, Michael. Not anymore, anyway” Although his words sound harsh and uncaring, Calum’s unable to keep all of the emotions running through him from showing in his voice.

Instead of invoking any combination of hatred, anger and contempt that Calum expects from Michael, the blonde simply shrinks back, like an injured animal. “I deserve answers.” He repeats, curling in on himself as through trying to protect what little strength he has left.

Seeing Michael look so small and fragile knocks all of the fight out of Calum. He can’t lie anymore but he still can’t tell Michael the truth either. He eventually settles on a soft deflection. “I know.” Calum whispers, “I wish I could give you everything you need and deserve.” He continues gently, “but I’m trying to protect you here, Mike.” He sighs. “ _Please_ just let me do that.”

Michael opens his mouth, seemingly to argue but he’s cut short by the front door opening and closing, closely followed by Ashton’s miserable voice. “Hey Cal, have you packed up the liquor cabinet yet?” He asks. “I need a strong drink tonight.” He continues as he steps into the living room. His hazel eyes widen as they drift from Michael to settle questioningly onto Calum.

“Could you give us a minute?” Calum asks quietly, wiping a tear from beneath one of his eyes with the pad of his thumb. “Please, Ash...” He adds after his friend remains silent for a beat too long.

Ashton makes no attempt to move, even after Calum fixes him with a pleading glare. “What’s going on?” The older friend asks instead, keeping his eyes on Calum. “I thought you’d decided that leaving was the best option.”

Calum’s about to promise Ashton that they can discuss everything later when Michael interrupts. “So that no one else ends up like this?” He asks, his tone hurt and slightly angry as he gestures towards his various injuries. “Now that whoever you’re both running from, has beaten the shit out of me, you’re just pissing off instead of facing your problems?”

The stunned look on Ashton’s face would be comical if the situation wasn’t completely breaking Calum’s heart. He doesn’t know if he has the strength to explain everything to Ashton or to continue trying to convince Michael to leave. He just wants to curl up and shut out the world while he figures out exactly what is best for him and the people he loves. He’s can’t bring himself to diffuse the argument that erupts between his best friend and his ex boyfriend, he merely sits between them numbly, as they exchange heated words and by the time Luke and Spencer arrive a few minutes later, Calum is well and truly wiped out. 

Of course, Ashton turns his anger onto Spencer the second the eldest friend walks into the room. Unfortunately for everyone, Spencer is apparently in no mood for questions and lectures as he snipes back at every single one of Ashton’s verbal blows.

Luke immediately runs over to Michael and gently begins to convince him to leave.

As much as Calum wants to make things better and as much as he wants to hold Michael in his arms and tell him everything he needs to hear, his emotions and his intolerance of the loud voices get the better of him. He slips out of the room mostly unnoticed. The only person that looks at him as he leaves is Michael, betrayal and hurt in his glassy green eyes. As he traipses miserably to his bedroom, Calum’s pretty sure that the expression on Michael’s beautiful face will haunt his dreams for very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this didn’t make you all too sad! 
> 
> I’m probably going to take a break from this fic until after Christmas now, because I have a few festive blurb ideas that I’m hoping to post in the next few weeks!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update has taken me a while to write and I’m actually super nervous about it!
> 
> I hope you all think it’s alright even though it’s worked out a lot angstier than I planned hahaha
> 
> Also Luke has refused to be a supporting character and demanded a bit of the limelight in this chapter.

The haunted look on Calum’s face as he’d left his living room the previous day, had plagued Michael not only in his waking hours but in his meagre dreams too. 

Having managed just a few hours of broken sleep, Michael gives up trying to rest before the sun’s starts to raise. His whole body protests painfully as he slowly gets out of bed, pulling on a hoodie and grabbing his phone on his way out of the bedroom. 

Flicking on the lamps at each end of the sofa as he makes his way through the living room, he shuffles stiffly to the kitchen. He pours himself a glass of water and grabs his medication from on top of the microwave where Luke has been keeping them. 

Once he’s finally managed to swallow the pills, Michael heads back to the living room area and curls up in the sofa. He still feels uneasy and angry about yesterday. During the car ride home from Calum’s apartment, Luke had refused to talk about anything that Spencer had told him. The younger man had insisted that Spencer didn’t know a lot besides what Michael had overheard. Once they’d arrived home, Luke had made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to talk about Calum or Spencer anymore, so Michael has confined himself to his room. He’d remained there all night, ensuring to time his bathroom trips to coincide with whenever Luke was in his own room so that they didn’t have to interact.

In a vague attempt to distract himself from his uneasy thoughts, Michael flicks on the TV. For a little while, he loses himself in some mindless re-runs of old episodes of shitty sitcoms that he and Luke used to love laughing at together. It’s oddly comforting, despite the occasional scene that reminds him even more of fun times with his best friend and just how crap it is that they’re not really speaking at the moment.

By the time Luke emerges from his room, looking distinctly unrested and a little agitated, Michael is more inclined to try and bury the hatchet rather than continuing their feud. He watches the younger man quietly as he enters the main room of the apartment. “Morning.” He offers hesitantly, flicking off the T.V.

“Good morning.” Luke replies with a half hearted smile. “How’re you feeling?” His sleepy eyes betray a faint concern. It's a familiar emotion, having been present in his best friend's expressions and tone of voice ever since the night of Michael’s attack. However it seems somehow deeper now, like yesterday's revelations and subsequent arguments had caused Luke's worries to seep into every word he speaks. 

Michael shrugs. “Same, I guess. You?” He tries to keep his lingering annoyance out of his voice, but he’s not entirely sure that he manages it.

“I’m still a little angry and confused about yesterday, if I’m honest.” Luke sighs, padding over to the sofa before taking a seat next to Michael. “Part of me wants answers, as much as you do, Mike.” He explains carefully. “But a bigger part of me thinks that the less we know, the better." He doesn't seem able to look Michael in the face as he speaks, his gaze fixed solidly on the coffee table in front of them. "I just want to keep you safe more than anything.”

As touched as Michael is by his best friend’s concern and protectiveness, the blonde knows that he won’t be able to rest easy until he knows more about whatever the fuck is going on. “I know, Luke.” He concedes. “And I appreciate that more than you know, but if Calum’s mixed up in something dangerous...”

Luke seems to lose his battle to contain his anger and frustration. His blue eyes flash with emotion as he finally meets Michael's gaze. “Calum’s not your problem anymore.” 

Michael’s heart sinks, the truth of Luke’s words cutting deeper than he expected. He flinches away from his friend almost as though he’s been dealt a physical blow but Luke continues, despite his best friend’s obvious surrender. “Whatever he’s mixed up in is nothing to do with you, Mike.” He proceeds relentlessly. “It’s his mess and you’re better off with him!”

As intent as Michael was to patch things up with Luke a moment ago, it proves too difficult for him to contain his emotions when his best friend obviously has so little regard for his feelings. “Well that’s easy for you to say, Luke.” He counters, his voice a little louder than he intends it to be. “You’re not in love with him.” 

Luke’s mouth hangs open around a yet unformed word that seems to get stuck in his throat. Michael waits for a long moment, hoping that Luke will say something positive, apologetic or at least offer a comforting touch. The younger man makes no such move, sitting motionless and seemingly at a loss for words. 

The two friends share an uncomfortably prolonged gaze, Luke’s pale blue eyes almost blank, whilst Michael feels that his own betray his desperate need for answers and comfort. Finally the older man gives up the faint hope that his friend will help to ease the hurt, fear and confusion tearing through him. He pushes himself to his feet, ignoring the pain in his ribs as he walks as quickly as possible to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Michael sinks onto his bed, allowing the tears of anger and frustration to finally fall. Not only does he feel as far from the answers as ever, he’s also lonelier than he’s felt in a really long time. Until now, Luke had always been there for him. He was a steady companion and a loyal friend, never failing to pick Michael up whenever life dealt him a cruel blow. Even through his break up with Calum, Luke had been supportive and sweet as always. Yet now, when Michael can never remember needing him more, Luke chooses to take the easy way out.

Laying back against his pillows, Michael contemplates reaching out Calum again. The second his fingers close around his phone, though his heart gives a painful pang. He’s not sure he can take being swept aside by the love of his life twice in less than twenty four hours.

The tears continue to flow thick and fast. Michael’s unable to stop the flood of emotion now it’s started. He’s really not sure how long he’s curled up on his bed before his bedroom door opens.

“Mike...” Luke says softly, padding over to the bed and perching on the edge of it. “I’m only trying to protect you.” He whispers, reaching out to stroke Michael’s arm gently. 

“I don’t need protecting!” Michael sobs, refusing to turn over to face his friend. “I just need answers, Luke.”

Luke sighs almost as though he's accepting the fact that Michael’s never going to rest until he knows the full truth. “I know.” He confirms solemnly. “I still don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see Calum again though, at least not yet.”

A frustrated growl escapes Michael as he wipes his tear stained cheeks with the sleeve of his hoodie. “Who else is going to tell me what the fuck is going on?” He asks. 

Luke hesitates, tightening his grip on Michael’s arm in what’s surely meant to be a comforting gesture. “I’m not sure exactly how much he knows, but I called Spencer just now and he agreed to come over and talk with you. He says he’ll tell you as much as he can.”

Shocked at his friend’s sudden change of heart, Michael turns to face Luke. Something in his expression must have tipped his friend off because Luke sighs. “As much as I hate this, Mike, I know you're not going to move on until you know more.” He shrugs. “So if I can help you get the answers you need, I will.”

Michael’s love and gratitude for Luke threatens to consume him as he shuffles closer to his best friend. It snuffs out every remnant of the negative feelings that plagued him just a moment a go. “Thank you.” He sniffles, unable to think of anything else that comes even close to letting Luke know how grateful he is. It means a lot that the younger man is making an effort to help Michael out despite his reservations about the whole situation.

Luke offers a sad smile as he gives Michael’s arm one last squeeze before getting to his feet. “Why don’t you get showered and dressed?” He asks. “I’ll make some breakfast and coffee.” He doesn’t really wait for a response, heading for the door before he’s even finished his sentence. 

Despite his eagerness to find out more about Calum’s past and the potentially dangerous situation he was in, Michael feels a knot of nerves tighten in his stomach. He knows that there’s a huge possibility that he’s about to find out some tings that are not going to be easy for him to accept. At the very least, Michael hopes that the answers he gets from Spencer will give him a reason to believe that his heartache is a necessary evil.

***

Twenty minutes later Michael is nursing a cup of coffee and nibbling a slice of toast at the tiny breakfast table in the kitchen area. He tries to force down the food, even though he's in no mood for it, whilst Luke and Spencer share a suspiciously long and hushed greeting at the front door.

As annoyed as the blonde is that Luke’s obviously briefing Spencer on how to spin his story to make Luke seem right, he opts to spend the time collecting his thoughts and set out questions in his head.

By the time the new couple joins him at the table a few moments later, Michael has decided on a carefully worded first question. He waits for Spencer and Luke to take their seats before offering the eldest man a strained smile.

“Hey Mike.” Spencer chimes in a tone that wreaks of false cheerfulness. “You look a little better today.” The older man looks tired and a little less ‘put together’ than usual, something that suggests he's not coping with the Calum situation much better than Michael is.

Despite his faint concerns for Spencer, Michael has no time for meaningless and forced pleasantries. He doesn’t plan on indulging Calum’s best friend in any conversation that isn’t going to help him understand why Calum’s in trouble and how the fuck he apparently got caught up in it. “I still look as shit as I feel, Spence.” He frowns. “I’m sure Luke told you the real reason that he invited you over. There’s no need to try and flatter or distract me.”

Spencer’s forced cheerful demeanour vanishes quickly, dissolving into an air of quiet misery. He steals a sideways glance at Luke, the younger man rewarding him with an encouraging smile and nod as he intwines their fingers together on the table. When he returns his gaze to Michael his hazel eyes are focused and melancholy. “I know you overheard my conversation with Luke yesterday.” He begins. “I promise I wasn’t lying to him. I really don’t know the whole story.”

The sincerity in Spencer’s voice reassures Michael that he’s not being lied to. The blonde can’t help but feel that Spencer is more concerned about Calum than perhaps Michael had given him credit for. “You said that those muggers could have targeted me because of Calum.” He reminds the older man, determined not to let his newly hatched sympathy for Spencer distract him from getting the answers he needs. “Why would you think that?”

Spencer drops his gaze, focusing on the motion of this thumb as he gently strokes Luke’s knuckles with it. “I only know that he got involved in some petty criminal shit when he was teenager. It sounds as though he fell in with a bad crowd.” Spencer explains carefully. “I think that things got out of control one night and Calum’s never given me the full story but... I think he must have done something that really pissed the others off because he’s basically been running from them ever since.”

Spencer’s voice trails off as though he’s getting lost in thought before he adds “I know they caught up with him once about a year before he moved here. Calum let slip one night when he was drunk, that that they hurt Ashton, I think that’s how he ended up with his limp.”

Michael’s not sure what he expected Spencer’s answer to be. He knew that they were never going to be easy to hear but he sure as hell wasn’t banking on feeling as though he’d been physically hit in the gut. It hadn't really occurred to Michael’s until now that Calum was actually the run from people he was seemingly terrified of. 

Despite being an apparent victim of these people Calum was running from himself, Michael still finds it shocking that they were responsible for Ashton’s injury. He’d never enquired about how Calum’s best friend had ended up with his obvious and sometimes painful limp. He always thought it would be kind of rude to ask what happened and no one had ever volunteered the information, so Michael had just accepted that it was a part of Ashton he’d probably never fully understand.

Luke places his free hand over the top of Spencer’s and rests his head on the older man’s shoulder. “It must be hard for you to tell us this, if you promised Calum you never would.” He whispers gently.

The fact that Spencer was being so open and honest from the start, was something else Michael hadn’t expected and his gratitude was immeasurable. “Yeah.” He agrees quietly. “Thank you for telling us what you know, Spence.” 

Spencer glances up again. The exhaustion and concern on his face are much more obvious this close up. Michael’s sympathy for the older man grows but his overwhelming need for more information takes president and he reaches across the table to place a hand on Spencer’s arm. “Why can’t he just go to the police? Surely he can stay here if they’ll protect him?” 

Spencer shrugs his free shoulder sadly. “I guess he must have a good reason.”

Shooting Michael a warning glare, Luke lifts his head. “Spencer’s told you what he knows, Mike. It’s time for you to accept it and move on.” His voice is colder again, just like it was earlier before he asked Spencer over. “Calum’s mixed up in shit that you’re better off well away from.”

Spencer sighs, wrapping his fingers tighter around Luke’s as he turns to face the youngest man. “That’s the point though, Luke.” He hesitates briefly, lifting his free hand to stroke Luke’s unruly curls out of his face. “He’s not anymore, he’s tried to leave it in the past but whoever these guys are, they’re not letting him move on.” Spencer’s voice takes on an almost desperate tone as he continues. “And now they know that he cares so much about Mike, I’m worried that they’ll use him to get at Calum regardless of where he and Ashton run to.”

Luke’s brow furrows. “Then I’ll fucking go to the police myself.” He frowns. “You might both have some misplaced loyalty or something for Calum but I don’t owe him shit! I’m not letting Michael get dragged into harm's way just because Calum has a shady past!”

Spencer places a hand on Luke’s cheek. “I know you’re worried about Michael, babe.” He says. “But please, can you give me another day to try and talk Calum round? I _know_ I can get him to see sense, I just need time.”

The anger and frustration on Luke’s face all but melts away as he presses his cheek harder into Spencer’s hold. “It's not _only_ Michael I’m worried about.”

One corner of Spencer’s mouth hitches up into a half smile. “I don’t think I’m important enough to Calum for these assholes.” He strokes Luke’s cheek gently with the pad of his thumb before glancing over at Michael. “That’s why I came here yesterday.” He admits solemnly. “I wanted to ask Michael to try and help me talk some sense into Calum, help me to persuade him to stop fucking running.”

Michael’s heart threatens to burst out of his chest, there’s so many emotions racing through him that he starts to feel dizzy with them. “He won’t talk to me, Spencer.” He breathes shakily. “He brushed me aside like I meant nothing to him anymore.”

The eldest man opens his mouth to speak but Luke scoffs loudly. “Of course he still fucking loves you, Mike.” He explains, pushing himself to his feet. “It’s written all over his face every time he claps eyes on you.” Luke meets Michael’s gaze purposefully, some unidentifiable emotion burning just behind his pretty blue eyes. “But he’s trying to do the right thing for once in his miserable fucking life. I still think we should just let him leave.” 

“Luke...” Spencer gasps, apparently as shocked at Luke’s sudden outburst as Michael is. “Babe, just...”

“Don’t _babe_ me Spencer!” Luke growls turning to face the older man. “We fooled around once - just yesterday, that doesn’t make me your fucking babe.” There’s tears brimming in his eyes as he stares at Spencer, his voice sounding thicker as he continues. “I knew I never should have let myself fall for you. I’m just a happy accident that happened while you tried to manipulate my best friend into convincing a _criminal_ to stick around and fight some old battles while the rest of just hope and pray that we don’t get dragged into it.”

Spencer’s expression and body language suggests that he’s in a similar emotional place to Michael, somewhere between exhaustion, despair and desperation. The eldest man shakes his head, pleading with his eyes for Luke to believe him because he seems to lack the energy to fight for his trust. “You’re not an accident Luke. My feelings for you are real, I swear and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you.” He sighs exasperatedly. “It’s just that Calum means a lot to me as well and right now, Michael is my only hope of helping him see sense. If this could wait until I’d proven my feelings to you then I’d put it on the back burner without a second fucking thought, Luke.”

It feels to Michael as though he’s intruding on a private moment and his discomfort and impatience start to make him bristle. As much as he wants his friends to be happy, he more than agrees that getting Calum to stay and face his demons is a much more time sensitive issue than Luke’s misunderstanding and his lingering insecurities from past relationships. “Listen.” He demands as calmly as he can “I want you two to be happy as much as the next person but if Calum leaves before we talk to him then we’ll probably loose contact with him for good!” His desperation and determination to keep Calum in his life and help the love of his life confront old enemies and move on for good overwhelms him. “Luke, please! Let us do this and then you and Spencer can take all the time you need to figure shit out. I’ll even pay for a fucking holiday for the two of you myself, if you give me this one chance to talk with Calum again.”

Luke’s shoulder sag as he looks from Michael’s face to Spencer’s and back again, apparently taking in their pleading looks. “But these people are so dangerous.” He argues half-heartedly. “They left Ashton with a limp and they beat you black and blue, Mike. What the hell will they do to Calum if he actually stays to face them? What if they try hurting the people closest to him again in the process?”

Spencer places a hand on each of Luke’s shoulders, gently turning him so that their gazes meet. “Like I said, Luke.” He explains slowly. “Now that they know how much Michael means to him, I’m not so sure they won’t use him to get Calum back here.”

Spencer’s concern seems to hit a nerve with Luke and the youngest man becomes more anxious than ever. “ _Like I said_ , Spencer, we should call the police...”

“Give us one last chance to talk with Calum and if it doesn’t work, then we call the police.” Spencer offers. “I promise, Luke.”

Finally the youngest man concedes, sinking in on himself like a deflated balloon. “Fine... we’ll try your way first.” He allows Spencer to pull him into a thankful and loving hug but fixes Michael with a stern glare over the eldest man’s shoulder. “But I want to speak with Calum first. I don’t want Michael anywhere near him until he agrees to do everything he fucking can to keep him safe.”

Michael tries to muster up the energy to argue but Spencer cuts in before the blonde has chance to even form his first syllable.

“I think that’s fair.” The dark haired man agrees. “Why don’t we drive over there now and Michael can meet us there in a little while if everything goes well?”

Luke nods, he seems a little surprised and suspicious that Spencer agreed so easily to his conditions, but he doesn’t argue the point. “Fine.” He says flatly. “I’ll just grab my jacket.”

Spencer presses a fond kiss to Luke’s cheek before the youngest man heads off to his bedroom.

“I’m coming with you...” Michael insists quietly.

Spencer shakes his head as he pulls his mobile from the pocket of his leather jacket. “You’re staying here.” He replies flatly. “I need time to talk to Luke when he’s not worried about upsetting you.” He explains. “But I just sent you Calum’s number, Luke told me he’d deleted it from your phone. Just please don’t use it until after I’ve spoken to him with Luke, okay?”

Michael nods, trusting that Spencer’s plan will work. Before he can focus too much on the fact that having Calum’s number again is going to prove tempting, Luke returns. The youngest man grabs his car keys from the little table by the front door and fixes Michael with a stern glare. “If you turn up at Calum’s place before I call you, our deal is off and I’m calling the police.”

Michael agrees with a slight jerk of his head. He’s learnt when to pick his battles with Luke and now was certainly not the time to start an argument. If giving Luke this time is going to help learn more about Calum and possibly help escape his toxic past for good, then it'll be more than worth it.

Spencer joins Luke at the door before offering Michael an almost nervous departing smile. “We’ll call you as soon as we’ve spoken to Cal.” 

Luke nods his agreement as he throws open the front door. “I hope that Calum listens to reason.” He says. “If he hurts you again in any way, shape or form I’ll make his old _buddies_ seem like his fucking playmates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some drama in the next chapter, I'm nervous to write it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this has taken a while!
> 
> It’s pretty angsty and emo <3
> 
> Thank you as always to Holly and Katy who helped me get through this chapter, it was a bit of a hard one but I think it turned out okay?
> 
> Trigger warning for references to a car accident and past violence.

_It’s on lazy evenings like this that Calum’s mind tends to drift and silly little things start to catch his attention - Like how Michael’s hand looks so small in comparison to his own with their fingers intertwined over Calum’s bare chest._

_Calum's duvet only covers them to the waist, allowing him to admire all the physical differences between them as they lay naked together. His thoughts ebb into the way that Michael’s pale, milky complexion offers such a stark contrast to Calum’s own soft, brown skin. The way Michal's fluffy chest is the complete opposite to Calum's almost hairless torso and how the paler man's tummy is slightly softer than Calum's tightly muscled one_

_All of these little things are like physical representations of how the two men are polar opposites, Calum thinks vaguely as he runs a finger gently over one of Michael’s shoulder blades._

_The blonde hums contentedly, nestling his head under Calum’s chin. “You’re full of surprises, you know.” His voice is still a little breathy, despite having had a couple of minute to recover from his orgasm._

_Calum can hear the smile in his Michael’s voice, even though he can't it at this angle and it still brings butterflies to his tummy. “And why’s that?” He asks, stroking Michael’s blonde locks lightly._

_“I just never would have guessed that you were a cuddler.” Michael replies. “You normally leave before I’ve even caught my breath after we...”_

_The blonde’s slightly nervous comment hurts Calum more than it probably should. He wants to be there for Michael in every possible way, the thought of disappointing him, even in the slightest way, makes the younger man sadder than he cares to admit._

_Tonight is the first time Calum has allowed any kind of romantic element to seep into his hook ups with Michael. He’d tried so hard to keep his distance up until now. Calum knows that the closer he gets to the blonde, the harder it’ll be when he inevitably has to break things off so that Michael can be safe._

_“I guess I was just trying to keep things casual.” Calum replies vaguely. If he’s entirely honest with himself, he had found it much easier than he expected to relax with Michael and let his guard down tonight. After years of having nothing more than one night stands and meaningless flings, he'd never really expected to be comfortable in this sort of situation. It kind of scares him for a million different reasons but they all pale in comparison to the feeling of finally being this close to someone._

_Michael shifts slightly in Calum’s arms to fix him with a thoughtful stare. “You’re the ‘I don’t really do relationships’ type aren’t you?” He asks quietly, as though he's somehow been able to read Calum's thoughts. There’s definitely a note of disappointment and something like fear in Michael’s tone but his gaze is steady. His green eyes look particularly soft and beautiful in the dim light from the lamps on either side of the bed._

_Every sensible part of Calum is screaming at him to say that he’s just a commitment-phobe and that he’s not at the right place in his life for a serious relationship. That was his typical go-to move whenever one of his flings tried to hint at making things more serious. But something about Michael is making it so much more difficult than it usually is to remain detached._

_In the back of his mind, Calum knows he never should have called Michael after their first night together. He should have deleted and blocked the blonde’s number the second he’d left Michael’s apartment. To this day, Calum’s still not sure why he hadn't. It’s a move he’s made dozens of times over the years, the easiest way to remain distant from people that he could otherwise fall in love with. Because falling in love and settling down were luxuries he would never be able to experience. Of course, he only has himself to blame for that, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept when a growing part of him is starting to ache for more with Michael._

_“It’s okay...” Michael smiles sadly. His tone suggesting than it’s really anything but ‘okay’. “If you’re just looking for sex, then I can do that. But maybe you should leave now if you do want to keep it casual.” There’s a slight sting in Michael’s voice now. The way he spits out the last word, makes Calum feel like maybe it offends the blonde in some way._

_“It’s not that.” The younger man finds himself saying. “I’m just not worth anything more than that...”_

_Michael’s expression softens again as he lifts his head more to look at Calum easier. “What makes you say that?” He asks, his pretty green eyes shining with something akin to concern._

_Calum shrugs. “It’s not something I wanna get into, Mike.”_

_The younger man expects some sort of onslaught from Michael. He readies himself to defend his silence but the blonde simply leans in for a kiss. “You deserve happiness, Calum.” He whispers against Calum’s lips. “In whatever form it might take, I promise.”_

_Calum’s surprised to notice that Michael’s eyes are shining with unshed tears. “You don’t know that...”_

_The blonde presses another kiss to Calum’s lips. “Everyone feels like that sometimes.” He interrupts. “But I really like you, Calum.” Michael continues purposefully, not giving the younger man a chance to respond. “I’m not going to give you a long speech about how you can trust me and that maybe we can be a whole lot more than this if you just let go a little.” Michael’s fingers brush delicately over Calum’s toned chest, dancing lower over his flat stomach as the blonde trails kisses down his jaw. It’s hard to focus on what Michael’s saying when his lips and fingers feel so good. “I want you to find all those things out for yourself.” Michael whispers into his ear almost teasingly. “But for now a purely physical relationship is enough. Sex with you is pretty fucking good.” He breathes, pressing himself as close to Calum as humanly possible._

_“Only pretty good?” Calum gasps as Michael nips at his ear lobe._

_The blonde allows his lips to graze lower over Calum’s neck, sucking at the soft skin just below his ear. “What do you want me to say?” He asks, his cheeks already flushing the way they always do when he starts to get turned on. “That you’re the best I’ve ever had?” His breath is starting to become gaspy and it sends shivers of pleasure through Calum’s entire body._

_A moan escapes Calum as he surrenders to the urges washing over him. He wraps his arms around Michael to keep him close as he flips Michael onto his back, pressing the older man into the mattress as they kiss heatedly. “Yeah...” he gasps, before he can stop himself. “Even if it’s not true, Mike.” He adds between kisses. “Tell me...” Just because he’s never allowed to experience a truly fulfilling relationship, Calum reasons that there’s no harm in pretending for a while._

_A needy whine escapes the blonde as he ruts up against Calum’s muscly thigh. “I’d never tell you anything that wasn’t true, Calum.” He promises, breathily._

_Calum tries to ignore the ache in his chest that Michael’s words cause him. He’s never really cared about where he ranks in anyone else’s sexual history before. He’s more than a little surprised at how much it means to him to be Michael’s ‘best ever’. It takes less than a second for Calum to realise that it’s not even just a selfish ego-boosting thing. He wants to be the best Michael’s ever had because this man fucking deserves the best of everything._

_“Need you to know I’m being honest.” Michael gasps, threading his fingers through Calum’s dark curls._

_“I better up my game, then.” Calum groans, thrusting down to create some much needed friction for both of them._

_Michael moans softly, throwing his head back into the pillows, his blonde locks framing his pretty face perfectly. “Fuck, Calum.” He gasps. “I’m trying to tell you...” his sentence is cut off on a high whine as Calum sets to work sucking hickeys onto the side of Michael’s neck. “No one’s ever made me feel the way you do.”_

_The darker man lifts his head to look at Michael, shock colouring his expression as he waits for the blonde to open his eyes. “You mean I really am the best fuck you ever had?”_

_Michael’s eyelids slide open slowly as he nods. His cheeks redden a little at the apparently accidental confession. “You’re different, Calum.” He whispers. “You’re exciting and surprising.” He fiddles nervously with the curls at the nape of Calum’s neck as he continues. “And I don’t just mean the sex...” he searches Calum’s face anxiously, seemingly scared of overstepping and coming across as pushy._

_“I promise that those things don’t make up for how bad I am for you.” Calum replies. He knows he should stop talking like this. Being happy and ‘in love’ with Michael is just pretend, it can never be for real, not with Calum’s past and the enemies it’s made him._

_Unexpectedly, the blonde moans at the words, simultaneously bucking his hips. “That just sounds hot.”_

_Calum can’t help but admire how beautiful Michael looks, so turned on just by his words. “That’s nothing compared to how you look right now, beautiful.”_

_The younger man knows from their previous hook ups that Michael loves being praised and his reaction to being called beautiful is no different tonight. He arches his back off of the mattress and slides his hands down Calum’s neck before digging his finger tips into the darker man’s shoulders. “You’re getting dangerously sappy there, Hood.” Michael gasps. “That’s not fair if you really want to cut and run...”_

_In the haze of lust and arousal clouding Calum’s mind he moans a reply that comes from the heart instead for the mind for once. “I’m too far gone for you to do that now.”_

Calum forces himself to stop reliving one of his favourite memories of Michael with difficulty. It proves too painful now that leaving him for good is just a matter of days away- and very few, at that.

He’s slightly angry with himself for falling into the trap of looking through old photos when he’s meant to packing them up ready for the imminent move. 

Each photo was bound to dredge up old memories that Calum knows he needs to keep buried if he’s ever going to retain any degree of sanity. He’d managed to sort through most of them easily enough until he came across a selfie that Michael had taken with him around the time he’d finally accepted that the blonde was more to him than a casual hook up. Michael had taken it to prove that they’d actually make quite a cute couple. They were laying in Calum's bed, both wearing crumpled t-shirts and it was hard to tell who had the worst case of ‘post-sex’ bed hair. Michael was putting on a kind of model pose that had made Calum laugh right as the blonde took the photo, meaning that the younger man's eyes were scrunched shut and his lips were stretched tightly over his white teeth. Nevertheless it had proved Michael right, Calum hadn’t and still can’t deny that they looked good together. That’s what had sparked his memory of that evening when he’d confessed to Michael that he meant more to him than casual sex

“Do you wanna keep this old set of mugs?” Ashton asks, plodding into the living room holding four ceramic cups, one of his long fingers hooked through each little handle. 

Calum brushes aside the photos littering his lap and leans forward to inspect the mugs closer. Each of them has picture of a different breed of dog on it, they were some of the first things Calum brought when he and Ashton moved here. “Nah...” He shrugs. “Put then in the ‘donate to charity’ pile.” 

Nodding, Ashton limps over to the small mound of cardboard boxes and plastics shopping bags that they’d filled with things they no longer need or want. He places the four mugs carefully on top of the pile before turning back to Calum. “Are you okay, Cal?” He asks cautiously. “You seem distracted. 

Calum knows that he can lie if he wants to. He can spin Ashton a tale about how he just needs to move on to the next city and start again. He’s also well aware that it’d prove totally pointless because Ashton already knows something is wrong and despite his words, Calum knows that his best friend’s question is actually more of an invitation to discuss what’s on his mind. “I’m really missing him already, Ash.” He replies, wrapping his arms around himself in an automatic attempt to protect himself, the way he always does when he feels vulnerable. “And we haven’t even left yet...”

Ashton’s face takes on a sympathetic expression as he sits down next to Calum on the sofa. “I wish there was a way we could both stay.” He says quietly.

To anyone else, it’d seem that Ashton was simply being supportive of his heartbroken best friend. Calum has no doubt that that was definitely part of his intention, but he knows that there’s more to Ashton’s comment. The somber and almost distant tone he uses, confirms to Calum that the older man is also dreading leaving town. 

“You know that you don’t _have_ to follow me, don’t you?” Calum asks, placing a hand on Ashton’s wrist. “You can stay here and start a Calum free life with your pretty waitress lady.” He adds, hoping his tone is light enough to convince Ashton that he’s being honest, even though the thought of leaving without his best friend scares Calum more than he can say.

The older man scoffs . “Like I’d trust you to take care of yourself alone.” He tries to joke, despite his obvious sadness. 

“Hey!” Calum half laughs, nudging his friend with his shoulder softly. “I can take care of myself, I just want you to do whatever makes you happy.” 

Ashton glances sideways at Calum, the light behind his hazel eyes betraying just how tempted he is by Calum’s offer of finally going it alone. “I promised I’d stick by you, Cal.” He insists. “I’ll never break my word to you. Not ever.” He wraps a strong arm around Calum’s shoulders and pulls him close. “You’re like my brother, Calum. As long as you’re running from those bastards, I’ll be right there beside you.”

Calum’s love and appreciation for Ashton seems to be limitless. Every time he thinks that they’ve reached their peak, Ashton does or says something to take them to another level. 

As he’s already feeling pretty raw and emotional, Ashton’s words bring a tear to Calum’s eye that he swiftly wipes away, not wanting his best friend to worry about him any more than he already does. “But you could be happy here, I can’t ruin that for you.”

Shaking his head Ashton pulls Calum into a full hug. “I could never be fully happy, knowing you’re out there alone.” He sighs. “At least this way we can share the burden and you always know that I have your back.” The older man allows Calum to nestle into his shoulder, apparently realising his friend’s need for the comfort. “Besides, Katy is so far out of my league it’s almost funny.” He laughs humourlessly as he strokes Calum’s dark curls gently. “I’m sure she’ll find someone she deserves.”

Before Calum can argue that Ashton’s just about the most amazing person on the planet and that Katy would be beyond lucky to have him, his phone vibrates in the pocket of his green hoodie. 

“If that’s Spencer again, tell him not to bother coming over today.” Ashton snorts, pulling away from Calum so that the younger man can take out his phone. “I’m still angry with him for yesterday! Doesn’t he think that you have enough on your plate, without involving Michael like that?”

Ashton’s words fade into a haze of panic as Calum unlocks his phone to find an anonymous text message. He’d never had this many in such a short space of time before. It seems as though his past is hell bent on catching up with him this time. 

The now familiar unpleasant knot of nerves tighten in Calum’s stomach as he opens the message. It simply reads _You’re making it far to easy for us, Cal_

“Shit!” Calum breathes, trying to fight the nausea rising in his chest. “We need to check on Michael and Spencer.” 

Before Calum can call either of them, Ashton snatches the phone from the younger man to look at the message. 

“They’re probably just trying to scare you.” Ashton says as he hands Calum back his phone, although his tone is not the older man’s usual calm and clear thinking one. 

“I’m going to call Michael, will you go check on spencer for me?” Calum asks, ignoring Ashton’s half hearted attempt at calming him.

Despite the animosity that Ashton had been displaying towards Spencer since yesterday, the sandy haired man springs to his feet and heads to the front door as quickly as his limp will allow.

As soon as his friend has left the apartment, Calum finds Michael’s number in his phone and hits ‘call’. There’s a vague knot of dread in his chest, after the events of the previous day Michael most likely hates Calum more than ever. The concern he has for Michael outweighs all of that though, and he has an overwhelming _need_ to know that Michael is okay. 

The phone rings for longer than Calum had hoped for. He’s almost at the point of accepting that Michael’s not going to answer when the ringing finally stops and Michael’s nervous voice issues down the line. “Cal?” He asks hesitantly.

Calum had been so intent on making sure Michael was okay that he hadn’t actually planned what to say should the blonde actually answer. He frantically searches his hazy brain for some words but Michael beats him to it.

“I didn’t expect you to be the one to call me.” The older man confesses quietly. “I thought It’d be spencer or Luke that...”

Before Michael can continue, the fear in Calum’s chest returns with full force and blurts out an interruption before he can stop himself. “Where are they, Mike?” He asks, unable to keep the panic from his voice.

“I thought they were with you.” Michael replies. “They were coming to see you, they left here like two hours ago! I thought that’s why you were calling me.”

“Shit!” Calum’s hisses. “Michael can you try calling Luke and let me know the second you’ve spoken with him?”

Michael sounds hesitant and confused as he agrees. Before he can ask any more questions, Calum takes a preemptive strike to cut the call short, needing confirmation that Spencer and Luke are safe. “I’ll explain later, I promise! Just call me the _very second_ you’ve talked to Luke, yeah?”

Apparently sensing the urgency in Calum’s voice, Michael agrees and hangs up. A fresh, unbidden wave of love for the blonde washes over Calum but his need to check that no one else has been hurt is paramount. 

Ashton returns with a concerned expression on his face, his dark brows furrowed as he presses his phone to his ear. 

“He isn’t there is he?” Calum asks, his panic turning to nausea as Ashton shakes his head and disconnects his call. “Let me guess, he’s not answering his phone either?”

Ashton frowns, shaking his head again. “He could just be with Luke...” He shrugs.

Calum perches nervously against the arm of the sofa, staring down at his phone waiting for Michael to call. “I don’t know, Ash.” He replies. “I have a bad feeling about this.

Two long minutes tick by during which Ashton continues to call Spencer’s phone, each attempt proving just as unsuccessful as the last.

When Michael finally calls back, Calum answers the phone with record speed. “Have you spoken to him? Is he okay?” He asks urgently.

“His phone kept ringing out...” Michael replies. “And Spencer isn’t answering either.” There’s a clear note of dread in his voice now. “What’s going on Calum?”

“We need to find them, Mike.” Calum insists. “I’m gonna go out and look with Ashton, you stay home and let me know if you hear from Luke or Spencer, okay?”

“Stop fucking trying to brush me off, Calum!” Michael yells, his voice thick with tears. “If something’s happened to my best friend I deserve to know!”

Before Calum can formulate any words, Ashton takes the phone from him. “Mike, it’s Ash.” The older man explains. “We need to make sure that Spencer and Luke are okay before we can explain all of this to you.” His voice is calm but assertive in a way that Calum could never achieve when speaking to Michael, someone who causes him so much love and guilt. “I promise that we’ll explain everything, you just need to stay there and let us know if Luke calls you or comes home, alright.” 

It seems as though Michael thinks better of arguing with Ashton. The older man simply thanks Michael and promises again to call as soon as they know anything before hanging up and handing Calum back his phone.

Calum tries to put his uneasy feelings about Michael being so closely involved in this mess to one side. Ensuring that Spencer’s okay is the most important thing right now. He grabs his leather jacket from the hook by the door and his car keys from the table before he allows Ashton to lock up the apartment.

The two of them make the journey down to the car park in a tense silence. Calum can tell by his friend’s fidgety demeanour and the nervous glances at his phone that Ashton is as scared and anxious as he is.

The car park seems eerily quiet, despite it still being the middle of the day. The faint rumble of traffic from the main road on the other side of the block of flats is the only sound until Ashton’s phone vibrates loudly in his pocket.

The sudden noise startles both friends, even though in some level they’ve been anticipating it for the past few minutes.

A faint hope sparks in Calum’s chest as Ashton quickly pulls out his phone. The darker man’s momentary hopefulness wavers as his friend’s expression turns to one of confusion. He turns away from Calum in a seemingly deliberate motion as he answers.

Before the younger man can ask any questions or listen in on the conversation, his own phone vibrates with an incoming call. His small hope returns as soon as he realises it’s Michael calling. Surely, to call again so quickly, the blonde must have some good news. He answers as quickly as his fumbling hands will allow. “Mike! Has Luke called?” He asks anxiously.

“Calum...” Michael’s voice is weak and scared. All of the hope Calum had a second ago vanishes in a split second as his heart sinks in his chest. “The police called. Luke and Spencer are at the hospital. They said something about a car accident.” Michael continues, his voice shaking. “Will you meet me there?”

The knot of panic in Calum’s chest tightens to the point where breathing starts to become difficult. He tries so hard to control his voice as he replies. “Of course! I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Michael gives a tiny sob in response. “Please be careful, angel.” Calum adds hastily before hanging up. The pet name slips from His lips without his permission, like an almost forgotten reflex. 

Analysing his buried love for Michael is something that will have to wait, though. He yells to Ashton to get in the car as he unlocks it and jumps inside.

Ashton obeys immediately, sliding into the passenger seat as he ends his own phone call with what seems like a fond and slightly anxious goodbye. “What’s going on?” He asks, turning his full attention to Calum.

“The police called Mike, Luke and Spencer are in hospital.” He glances at Ashton nervously as he starts the car. “Car accident.” He replies to Ashton’s silently questioning look. “They’re really gunning for me, Ash...”

Ashton reaches out to squeeze his best friend’s shoulder comfortingly. “We’ll get through this, we always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually so nervous to post this so please let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a rollercoaster to write, honestly.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it and I promise you’ll start getting some proper answers and angsty drama I swear <3
> 
> Also thank you as always to Katy and Holly, you always help me so much with this monster of a story <3
> 
> Trigger warnings for mild panic attack, references to a car accident and references to bullying - specifically homophobic bullying

His fingers are trembling too much, the water that’s half filling the clear plastic cup in his hand dances dangerously close to the lip and threatens to spill over onto Michael’s pale hands. 

The news the that Luke and Spencer had been involved in car accident had shaken him to his very core. Despite their recent tension and disagreements, there are very few people in the world that mean more to Michael than Luke. The two of them had known each other since the start of high school, but hadn’t grown particularly close until their final year when they’d both fallen victim to some particularly nasty homophobic bullies. 

Of course, the name calling, the after school beatings and the graffiti on their lockers had been unoriginal but unfortunately a very successful means of getting under their skin. It’d been one of the worst times of Michael’s life, however without it he probably never would have bumped into Luke at the nurses office on that damp Wednesday afternoon. Looking back now, Michael wouldn’t change what happened at school for the world, his now best friend was more than worth the few years of torment he’d endured as a teenager.

All in all, the thought of losing Luke, hurt Michael’s heart more than he could ever put into words. He knows that now isn’t the time to dwell on the past though, he needs to focus on being strong for Luke and for Spencer.

Fearing that his water will to spill over at any moment, Michael places the plastic cup on the low coffee table in front of him. Now that his hands are empty he wraps his arms around himself, feeling suddenly very cold and alone.

It’s not clear how long Michael sits there, shivering and fighting not to let his panic and worry consume him. The quietness of the little waiting room seems almost suffocating and the distinctly ‘hospital’ smell seeping from from the sterile corridor beyond the closed wooden door doesn’t help in the slightest.

In an attempt to distract himself, Michael pulls out his phone and scrolls through it aimlessly, just hoping that something will catch his attention enough to stop his mind from reeling. Unsurprisingly, it fails miserably. The blonde gives up after a little while and shaking my gets to his feet, opting to pace around the brightly lit room to try and stop his legs from trembling.

The horrific possibility that he could lose Luke forever refuses to leave Michael’s mind as he wraps his around himself again, glancing at the door every so often in the hope that a doctor or nurse will walk in and tell him that his best friend was going to be alright.

When the door finally does open, Michael has his back to it. He whirls around to face the only entrance to the room, much too fast and his head spins as a result. His vision blurs a little and he stumbles sideways in an effort to keep himself upright. 

Before he has fully regained his balance, Michael finds himself wrapped in a pair of familiar, strong arms. In the next second he’s utterly surrounded by Calum, as he’s pulled into a tight, caring hug.

“I’m _so_ fucking sorry you and the others got caught up in this.” Calum whispers, his voice tick with tears. 

There’s a faint voice in the back of Michael’s head that tells him to push Calum away. It tries to remind him that in the last week or so the younger man had broken Michael’s heart and then shattered it even further the last time they met. Calum had made no effort to explain his heartless actions until now. Maybe if he’d opened up sooner, Luke wouldn’t be lying injured in a hospital bed.

That voice is part of the reason that Michael doesn't return the hug. His arms remain at his side but his broken heart and the anger that stems from it, still isn’t enough for the blonde to push Calum away. He can’t stop his head from resting against the darker man’s chest, leaning into the taller man's solid form. Despite all of the confusion and heartache, Calum still feels like Michael’s safe place.

“Have you heard from the doctors yet?” Calum whispers as he strokes Michael’s hair softly. “Do you know how badly they’re hurt?”

Michael shakes his head, pulling away from Calum slowly. “A nurse just told me to wait here.” He replies honestly. “She said that a doctor would update me as soon as they were finished assessing their injuries.”

The sound of a phone vibrating draws Michael’s attention to the door again. Ashton apologises quietly as he takes out his phone and reads the text message that had caused the disruption.

“Who keeps texting you, Ash?” Calum asks, keeping a hand on Michael’s shoulder as though he wants to maintain a physical connection between them. 

The older man’s face seems to pale as he glances up to meet his friend’s gaze. “I have to make a call...” he announces, ignoring Calum's question altogether. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Calum seems faintly annoyed as he watches his friend leave the room. Michael thinks he understands why, he can’t think of anything more important in this moment than knowing how Spencer and Luke are.

Neither of the younger men voice their opinions though, allowing Ashton to walk back out into the corridor silently, the door swinging closed behind him with a soft thud.

After a short moment, Michael finally finds the strength to move away from Calum completely. He traipses over to the chair he was sitting in earlier and takes his seat again. 

Calum hesitates for a moment before following Michael’s lead and sitting down in the identical chair next to him. “They’ll be okay, Mike.” He offers weakly, reaching out for Michael’s hand.

The blonde avoids Calum’s touch, shuffling away from him to create some physical distance. “You don’t know that.” He replies stubbornly, turning to fix Calum with a stern glare. “But you can tell me why the fuck my best friend is here, Calum.” His voice is shaky and raw. “And why I got beaten up.” Michael continues. “And you sure as hell owe me _the fucking truth_ about why you’re leaving me.”

Michael had expected Calum to brush him off, to be as distant and mysterious as he has been since the night they broke up. Surprisingly though, Calum curls in himself, his shoulders sagging as he sinks lower in his seat as though some invisible weight is pushing down on him. The strong, emotionally untouchable man that Michael has grown so fond of since the night they met over a year ago, suddenly looks defeated and scared. It's a shock to the blonde, he's never seen Calum like this before - so raw and vulnerable, not even the night a few months ago when the younger man had let slip a little about his terrible childhood.

“I know.” Calum confesses weakly. “I owe you all of the answers, angel.” He meets Michael’s gaze with a guilty look in his eye. “I was just trying to protect you.” His voice breaks as tears start to spill over onto his cheeks. “All of you.”

Michael’s hand finds Calum’s almost of it’s own accord, an automatic show of love and support, two things that Michael has for Calum in droves. “From yourself?” Michael asks quietly. “Or from the people you pissed off in the past?” 

Calum doesn’t even seem surprised that Michael knows something, albeit a tiny part, of the truth. Maybe he’s already guessed that Spencer would spill some of the information, especially since he and Luke had gotten so close. “Both, I guess.” The younger man replies. 

Before Michael can ask any more questions the door to the little waiting room opens. Keeping hold of Calum’s hand, the blonde turns his teary gaze to the doctor in the doorway.

“You’re the friends of Luke Hemmings and Spencer Charnas?” She asks, her expression unreadable. She closes the door behind her before she takes a seat opposite Michael and Calum. “I’m doctor Mitchell.” She offers, her tone flat and professional.

The doctor looks to be somewhere in her forties, the tiny creases at the corners of her eyes being the only reluctant sign of aging on her pretty pale face. Her dark brown hair is tied back in a neat ponytail that sways as she steps further into the room. 

Calum introduces himself and Michael before stating “We’re the closest thing they have to family here.” His tone is hesitant but focused. “How bad are their injuries? When can we see them?”

Doctor Mitchell’s dark brown eyes survey them for a moment as she shakes each of their hand's in turn, before answering the question. “You can see them soon, they’re just being transferred to a ward.” She explains, leaving a short pause as she glances down at the notes on the clipboard in her hand. “We’ve done some initial tests and assessments, and I’m pleased to say that we’re not concerned that either of them have any injuries that should cause them any serious or lasting damage.”

Michael’s relief floods out of him in the form of tears. He allows Calum to wrap an arm around him as he cries, pulling him into a comforting one-armed hug. 

“Luke suffered a concussion and some fractured ribs.” Doctor Mitchell continues. “We’ve prescribed some pain medication which is making him drowsy but you’re welcome to see him once he’s settled in the ward, we want to keep him in overnight for further tests just to be certain that we haven’t missed anything.” She punctuates the end of her sentence with a small, tight smile.

“And Spencer?” Calum prompts, tightening his arm around Michael as though he's apprehensive about the answer he's about to receive.

Doctor Mitchell turns her full attention to the younger man as she leans forward in her seat. “He sustained some bruising to his chest and ribs from the seatbelt but again, we want to keep him in over night to ensure that that’s the full extent of his injuries.” 

Calum bows his head as though he’s praying, mumbling a “thank you, doctor.” Through a muffled sob.

The doctor leaves the room with one last reassurance that someone will be back inform them as soon as Spencer and Luke are ready for visitors.

As the door closes with a muted thud, Michael and Calum both take a moment to collect themselves, making no attempt to pull away from each other.

 _Luke’s going to be okay_ runs on a loop through Michael’s mind until he finally feels able to speak again. Lifting his head as he fixes Calum with a watery glare. “Looks like we have a little bit of waiting to do.” He sniffles. “Maybe you can tell me why this is all happening in the first place.”

Calum wipes his wet cheeks with the pads of his fingers before meeting Michael’s gaze. “It’s difficult, Mike.” He sighs shakily. “I want to tell you everything but if I do you’ll hate me and I just want to keep you safe.” He drops his gaze as he adds "that's why I'm leaving."

The anger that’s been simmering beneath Michael’s sadness and worry over the last week or so finally reaches boiling point. His voice takes on an aggressive tone as he growls “you’re still fucking leaving?” He doesn’t even feel the pain in his injured ribs as he jumps to his feet “Spencer and Luke could have died today and you’re _still_ fucking off and leaving us?”

It’s obvious that Calum is trying to put on a strong front. He takes a deep breath, holding Michael’s gaze with surprising difficulty. “I have to, angel. Please...”

“Don’t _angel_ me, you fucking dick.” Michael interrupts angrily. “You lost the right to call me that the night you broke things off between us.” The blonde surprises himself with how easily the words flow from him. “You’ve done nothing besides lie and push me away and now you want to pacify me with pet names and loving hugs because you know how much I fucking miss them.” His voice breaks a little towards the end of his sentence, the words catching in his throat like it never wanted him to say them at all. 

“It’s not like that.” Calum insists, finally getting his feet too. “I wish I could tell you everything but it’s too dangerous.”

Michael scoffs. “You keep saying that you’re doing all this to keep me and the others safe.” His voice is steady again now. “But we’re not safe, are we?” He asks flatly. “I got mugged mugged and then this car accident happens just _days_. They’re not coincidences are they? They’re because of something that happened in your past.”

Calum’s face greys a little as though he’s about to be sick or something. His breath starts to escape him in panicked gasps as he drops back into his seat.

Despite his anger and frustration, Michael hurries forward to check up on the younger man, easily recognising the signs of a panic attack. He’d dealt with many of his own and a fair few of Luke’s over the years but he’d never expected to see Calum suffer from one. “C’mon, Cal.” He whispers as he takes both of Calum’s hands in his own and presses their foreheads together. “Just breathe with me.”

Calum clings to Michael’s hands as though they’re his lifeline. Faintly, the blonde feels like this is a strange shift in their dynamic. The blonde had been looked after by Calum many times. The younger man had wrapped Michael in a comforting embrace for probably a million different reasons since they met. Whether he’d been sobbing at a movie, grumpy after a bad shift at work or anxious over some bad news, Calum had always wiped away the tears and kissed away the nerves until Michael had felt better. 

It’s a little strange being on the other side of the fence, having to be the one to utter the comforting words and gentle touches rather than receiving them. Nevertheless Michael finds that the instincts come fairly naturally to him. He allows Calum to clutch his hands tightly and press their foreheads together as he whispers calming words.

It takes a few moments, but eventually Calum’s breathing evens out and the natural colour of his cheeks returns. 

“There you go.” Michael mutters. “You’re alright now, Cal...” His face is still so close to Calum’s, their lips are within touching distance of each other. Michael is more tempted to close the tiny gap than he cares to admit but he manages to back off before he gives into his urges.

“Thank you.” Calum breathes. “I’m sorry, I should be stronger than this.” 

Michael rolls his eyes. “Emotions, tears and even panic attacks are just part of being human, Calum.” He shrugs. “They’re not signs of weakness, they don’t make you a coward.” He gently prises his fingers out of Calum’s grasp as his discontent begins to flood his veins again. “Running away might, though.”

Michael knows that the last part of what he says is risky. He’dbeen unable to stop them from spilling from his mouth but there’s a part of him that regrets it when Calum recoils in his seat.

“You shouldn’t judge things that you know nothing about.” The younger man mumbles, shaking his head.

Michael’s next words are perched on the end of his tongue but he’s torn between how to deliver them. Half of him wants to hug Calum close as he whispers them and the other half wants to yell them at him from across the room. He settles for uttering them in an almost desperate whisper from where he’s already standing. “Then _tell_ me.”

Calum inhales deeply, closing his eyes as though he’s preparing to actually explain this whole fucked up mess. Locking eyes with Michael he gets to his feet and steps closer to the blonde, closing the gap between them until his soft, sad face is all Michael can see. “I wish more than anything in the world that, I could stay with you.” He whispers, his shaky hands landing on Michael’s hips, softly pulling him closer until their bodies are pressed together.

Even after everything Calum has put him through, Michael is powerless to break the contact. He craves Calum in every single level imaginable. His arms subconsciously wrap around Calum’s neck the way they have a thousand times before as Michael rests his forehead against Calum’s. “I don’t care what you’ve done, Cal.” He breathes. “I just want to be by your side through all of this. Please don’t push me away.”

Calum moves one hand up to stroke Michael’s hair tenderly. “I can’t tell you how much I want that.” He replies. “But I can’t let you get involved in this.” 

Their faces are so close that Michael can feel Calum’s breath on his lips when he speaks. “I’m already involved, Calum.” He sighs. 

A hurt little noise escapes Calum. It’s an undeniable truth that he can’t change and he seems to have a hard time accepting it. “I can’t... you’re safer without me.” He mumbles.

Michael cups the younger man’s face, keeping their foreheads pressed together. “Calum, will you answer a question for me?” He keeps his voice soft and low. “Honestly?”

Calum nods. “I’ll try, angel.”

This time the pet name has it’s old effect on Michael. He almost trembles with the effort to stop from kissing the love of his life the way he’s wanted to in some level since Calum had entered the room. Somehow he keeps his urges under control and speaks his question as calmly as he can. “Do you still love me?”

Relief and surprise wash over Calum at being asked a question that’s not actually about his past. “You know I do, Mike.” He replies, his voice so thick with emotion that it’s almost a sob. “With my whole fucking heart.”

Michael strokes Calum’s cheeks gently with the pads of his thumbs as he allows his lips to graze Calum’s. “Then why are you leaving without me?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this has taken so long, I’ve made a major change to my plan for rest of this fic, that’s why it’s been a while <3
> 
> Thanks as always to Katy for helping me through the major re-jig! I hope you all enjoy the special new character in this chapter :)
> 
> Trigger warnings for (vague) references to difficult childhood and the separation of siblings in the foster care system.

Right now in this situation, holding Michael so close, it’s hard for Calum to answer the blonde's question. The query just kind of hangs heavily in the air around them as Calum tries to formulate a response. “I’m just trying to...”

“Protect me?” Michael scoffs, interrupting Calum's feeble attempt an answer. “You can’t fucking protect me if you’re miles away from here in a new city." His hands slip to down to subconsciously grasp at Calum's shoulders. "If they don’t know where you’re going, don't you think that they'll just use us to get you back here anyway?”

Calum shakes his head. “I want them to follow me, that’s what I’m trying to do here, Mike.” He explains. “I’m trying to get them away from you.” The younger man pulls back a little to meet Michael’s gaze properly. “You deserve to be so happy and _safe_.” 

Michael closes the gap between them again, resting his forehead against Calum’s chest. “I don’t care what you say, I’ve never felt happier or safer than I’m with you.” He stresses, a new level of desperation in his voice. “If you want to run then fine, but take me with you, please, Calum.”

It’s hard to deny Michael when all Calum wants is to keep the blonde this close to him forever. Michael’s logic also makes a lot of sense. If he can leave undetected and take Michael with him that would be one of the best possible outcomes of this whole shitty situation. 

Despite his love for Michael and the aching need to keep him close, Calum knows that taking the older man with him will cause a lot issues. Not least of these, will be convincing Ashton that taking another person with them is a good idea. 

Unable to untangle the thoughts racing though his mind, Calum remains silent. Trying to savour holding Michael against him like this, just in case it’s the last time he ever gets to see him. 

Before Calum can cobble together any words, the door to the waiting room swings open, reluctantly drawing his attention away from Michael. 

Doctor Mitchell smiles flatly, it doesn’t reach her tired eyes but it’s a friendly enough gesture. “Luke’s ready for visitors now, if you want to follow me?” She gestures to the hallway. As the doctor holds open the door with one outstretched arm, her palm flat to heavy wood, Calum notices her golden wedding ring glinting as it catches the light. Despite all of the stormy thoughts in Calum's head he can't help but feel a familiar tug of jealousy in his chest. He knows he shouldn't be surprised by this, reminders that he's never going to have the opportunity to settle down in a stable relationship with anyone, let alone get married, always seem to creep up on him when he's already at his lowest points.

When Calum finally manages to return his focus to the situation at hand he notices that Michael is regarding him with concern colouring his pretty green eyes. He seems to be contemplating whether their conversation is more pressing than seeing his best friend. The blonde seems torn between his options and so Calum makes it for him. “Go ahead, Mike.” He smiles sadly, taking a hesitant step backwards. “Give Luke a hug from me, I’m just gonna wait here for Ashton so that we can go and see Spencer together.”

Michael frowns, seemingly reluctant to leave Calum alone. “I’ll come to see Spencer when I’ve spent a little time with Luke.” He explains. “Will you wait for me? We need to talk more.”

“Sorry to interrupt..." Doctor Mitchel interjects softly, "Spencer’s actually being transferred to the same ward as Luke.” She informs them. “There’s just been a minor delay on his chest x-ray so he’s hasn’t been brought up yet, it shouldn't be long now though.” 

Calum offers a faint smile, relieved that at least he’ll have all of the people he cares about in one place. “There you go.” He shrugs, fixing Michael with the softest look he can muster. “You won’t need to come and find me, as soon as Ash comes back and Spencer’s ready, we’ll be there.”

Michael seems to visibly relax. A hint of his old self starts breaking through the cloud of sadness that seems to have surrounded him since the night Calum broke things off between them. 

“I’ll see you in a little while then.” The blonde nods with a tiny smile, placing a brief kiss to Calum's cheek before walking past the doctor into the hallway.

“Someone will come and get you as soon as Spencer is ready for visitors.” Doctor Mitchell adds kindly before she too disappears into the hallway.

As the heavy door clicks shut, Calum’s left alone for the first time in what seems like ages. The first thing he notices now that he’s left to dwell on things is the dull ache in his chest, caused by the whirl of emotions clawing at him from the inside. 

Calum sinks into one of the seats, trying sort through his thoughts and tackle one issue at a time. He knows that the most pressing issue is deciding whether it's still feasible to run. Initially he feels like bolting is still the best option, only now he can only imagine leaving with Michael sitting safely in the passenger seat beside him. Maybe that's entirely because his heart is finding it even harder to accept letting the younger man go, now that the prospect him of him joining Calum has been voiced out loud.

It's also undeniable that Michael made a good point. Perhaps his loved ones aren’t safe anywhere anymore, regardless of how far away from them Calum is. The thought fills him with a sense of dread, whilst simultaneously giving him a weird hope that maybe sticking together is what’s best for all of them. 

On some level, Calum feels guilty for wanting to keep Spencer an Michael in his life. If he does they’ll end up living the same half life that Ashton does and Calum’s not sure he can live with inflicting that on to more of the people that he loves.

On the other hand - If there's a possibility that the people from his past are coming for his loved ones anyway, Calum would much rather be right there to physically protect them.

All in all it seems like an impossible situation now. Every plan that pops into Calum’s brain over the next ten minutes or so, has a gaping hole in it that he can’t fill. He’s just about resigning himself to having to call some sort of family meeting so that everyone involved can vote on what they think will be the best option, when the door to the waiting room opens again, pulling his attention back to the room for the first time since Michael had left.

As Calum glances up, his eyes meet Ashton’s across the small empty space. His best friend seems a little tense as he stands awkwardly in the doorway, propping open the heavy wood with one of his broad shoulders.

“Finally.” Calum sighs, he doesn’t even try to hide the relief in his voice. Even though things seem pretty grim at the moment, there’s always a little more hope in Calum when Ashton’s with him. “The doctor said Spencer and Luke should be fine, Luke’s already on a ward but Spencer’s chest x-ray is a bit delayed so...” Calum cuts himself off as he notices just how pale and agitated his best friend looks. “Are you okay, Ash?” He asks, concern building up inside him.

“We need to talk, Cal.” Ashton replies, his breath is slightly laboured as though he’s hurried back to the waiting room from wherever he'd disappeared to. “It’s about Katy.” He shifts his weight uneasily onto his good leg.

Calum shakes his head, he wants to listen to his best friend and help with his heartache at having to leave someone he cares for, but now isn’t the time. “I know that we have a lot to discuss, Ash and if you want to stay then, we can talk about it but Michael’s made me think that maybe all of staying together will be a better option...”

“Calum!” Ashton snaps, immediately shrinking back when he realises that he’s raised his voice to his best friend. “Sorry I just... something’s happened that might change everything.”

The younger man is slightly taken aback by Ashton’s snappish tone, it’s not like his friend to act this way and the panic that Calum had managed to keep mostly under control since his conversation with Michael, starts to ebb closer to the surface again. “And what’s that?” He asks nervously, leaning forward in his seat.

Ashton’s visibly anxious and jittery as he looks out into the hallway, clenching his fists at his side before nodding as though he’s giving someone a signal. As he turns back to Calum he quietly inches further into the room. “I think it’d be better if Katy explains it all, actually.”

Before Calum’s exhausted and confused brain can start to comprehend what’s happening, the pretty waitress that he only vaguely recognises from the cafe, steps cautiously into view.

Katy is much shorter than Ashton, the top of her head barely clearing his elbow, even with the added volume of her soft, dark brown curls. “Calum.” She almost whispers, her eyes wide with something akin to desperation. Despite the apparent gravity of the situation, Calum is momentarily distracted by the unusual mix of colours in Katy’s eyes, they’re predominantly a blend of blue and green but as she steps closer into the stream of muted daylight drifting through the blinds of the small window behind him, it highlights numerous flecks of dark brown. “I know we’ve never really met officially.” She continues, “But I know who you are.” She stops a couple of feet away, her body language suggesting that she’s still anxious although her tone of voice is fairly steady. “And I know who you’re running from.”

Calum’s breath catches in his throat as he rises to his feet, fixing Ashton with a stern glare. “You told her?” He asks, completely perplexed as to why his best friend would tell anyone about Calum’s past. Especially since he’s gone to such great lengths to keep it all a secret from Michael - the love of his damn life.

Ashton opens his mouth to protest his innocence but Katy cuts in first. “He hasn’t told me anything, Calum.” She insists firmly but kindly, holding out a dainty hand towards Ashton to suggest that she has control of the situation. “I already knew about you and the people you’re running from a long time before I even met Ashton.”

It’s almost impossible for Calum to take in this information. How on earth could a random waitress from a grotty little cafe have any idea at all who he was and what horrors lie in his past, unless Ashton has told her. 

The question must be painted all over Calum’s face because Katy takes a step closer, a sympathetic look in her pretty eyes. Vaguely, Calum notices just how tiny she is now that she’s practically under his nose and he’s having to tilt his head downwards to look her in the eye. “It was searching for you and Ashton that brought me here in the first place, actually.” Her voice is still quiet but her nerves seem to be easing. “I came looking for you when I found out Vince had it in for you.” There was a fierce glint in Katy’s eye when she said the name that still struck fear into Calum’s heart.

“Why?” Calum asks, fighting down a wave of panic that suddenly threatens to overwhelm him. “How do you even...” his breathing becomes ragged as he fails to complete his sentence. 

It kind of takes Calum by surprise when Ashton places a gentle hand on his shoulder. He’s been so caught up in what Katy has been saying that he never even noticed his best friend cross the room to stand beside him.

“I think you need to hear what she has to say, Cal.” Ashton insists gently.

Calum closes his eyes, focusing on Ashton’s voice, trying to ground himself. He leans into his friend’s touch, silently thanking him for the subtle physical contact that always seems to help him when he starts to get panicked. 

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it for a long time, but things kept getting in the way and now...” Katy trails off, seemingly automatically drifting closer to Ashton. “Now it’s been forced and you’re not really in the right headspace to listen.”

Even though it was clearly not her intension, Calum takes Katy’s last words as an excuse to get out of the conversation. “You’re right.” He nods shakily. “One of my best friends is lying in hospital because of me and I was already confused over leaving so no, I’m not in the right headspace to listen!” Beneath his whirl of emotions, he feels guilty for snapping at Katy, but it’s hard for him not to let the confusion and frustration seep into his words.

Ashton gently pulls Calum into a hug, wrapping him in a strong but soft hold. “Today has been tough.” He whispers kindly. “And if it was possible to hold this conversation off until tomorrow, we’d do it without question...”

“I just don’t know if I can take any more today, Ash.” Calum sighs, trying hard to relax into his best friend’s hold. 

Ashton doesn’t respond right away, accept in the way that he wraps his arms around Calum a little tighter, hushing him gently. They stay like that for a long moment, the only sounds are muffled footsteps from out in the corridor and the chirping of birds outside the window. “Let’s sit.” He utters softly, easing Calum back a few paces towards the chair he’d been sitting in a few minute ago. 

It seems fruitless to object, it's obvious that Ashton and Katy have made up their minds about speaking to him immediately and Calum figures he may as well be sitting whilst they do. He sinks into the seat heavily, his body feels weighted down with exhaustion and the burden of holding back the wave of feelings that are still threatening to ram through his weakening defences.

Ashton takes a seat next to him as Katy steps closer. The older man holds out his hand to her, offering a small encouraging smile to the petite lady. “Just tell him what you told me.” He prompts sweetly, his hazel eyes sparkling with what could easily be a mixture of a thousand different emotions.

Katy takes his hand but doesn’t take her eyes off of Calum, holding his gaze determinedly. “I’m here to find my brother.” She states plainly, her emotions thickening her voice a little. “Vince has manipulated him into working for him and I want to help him get out before he gets into any more trouble.” 

At first Calum has to fight the urge to his roll his eyes. He has enough of his own problems to worry about, without taking on someone else’s as well. He manages to suppress his display of impatience by rubbing his forehead gently. 

Katy seems to be instantly aware that Calum’s not as moved by her situation as Ashton clearly is but she ploughs on regardless. “It’s a long story, but my little brother Robert was separated from me when were kids. We were thrown into foster care when he was tiny and I managed to land on my feet but he didn’t...” She sniffles, wriggling her pretty little nose. “He fell in with a bad crowd and by the time I found him, he was already in too deep.” 

Ashton reaches up to stroke Katy’s arm comfortingly, a tiny, sad smile of encouragement playing around the corners of his lips.

“He refused my help but I knew it was only because he was scared, so I investigated a little, asked around for information about the people he’d fallen in with.” Katy continues tearfully. “Once I knew who they were, a few people told me about you and how much of a grudge Vince has against you.” She glances over at Calum, her unique eyes shiny. “I figured out pretty quickly that I needed help to get Robert out and you seemed like my best option.”

Even though Katy is still little more to Calum than a stranger, her concern for her brother seems to squeeze at his heart as much as if they were both close friends. He barely notices that she said the name that usually sends cold shivers down his spine, he's sure that the tears that begin to well in his eyes are entirely for Katy and her brother.

Ashton pulls the curly haired woman closer. Calum notices the way that his best friend stares at her like she’s some damaged magical creature that he wants to dedicate his life to helping and protecting. The older man’s hazel eyes glisten with something that Calum can only describe as a deep love. It’s the exact look that he’d always been so scared he had on his own face when looking at Michael, the type of look that betrayed his inner most feelings and silently told everyone in the room that his heart was no longer his own.

As the first tear spills from his eye, Calum feels that maybe, it’s not entirely for Katy’s impossible situation, maybe it's partly a reaction to seeing his best friend so painfully in love with someone he’s afraid he could never have.

It becomes crystal clear to Calum in the next few seconds that the older man’s fear is completely unfounded. Katy is as in love with Ashton as he is with her. It’s painfully evident in the way she unconsciously curls into him and glances up at his face as though she can barely bring herself to look away. 

Part of Calum feels like this blossoming love may complicate things, but right now he can’t focus on that. He just knows that these two people need to be together one way or another and he _will_ come up with a plan to make that happen.

“Do you need to take a break?” Ashton asks softly, stroking the back of Katy’s hand softly with the pad of his thumb. “I know this is hard for you.”

Katy gives him a sad smile as she shakes her head, her long dark curls falling from where she’d tucked them behind her ears. “I just want to get this out.” She replies, turning her attention back to Calum. “Vince brought Robert and the rest of his thugs here to find you and I followed them in the hope that you'd help me.” The waitress explains. “I’m going to everything I can to get my brother out of Vince's mess, even it’s the last thing I ever do.”

There’s not a shred of doubt in Calum’s mind that Katy is telling truth. The fierce determination in her eyes is almost enough to burn a hole right through anyone who dares to try and stop her. He only wishes that he could feel just half as brave as Katy looks right now.

The petite woman reaches for Calum with her free hand. “You must be tired of running.” She sympathises. “All of the looking over your shoulder and worrying which one of the people you love he’s going to target next, it’s got to be taking its toll.”

It’s amazing to Calum just how well Katy seems to know him. He wonders faintly if Ashton has talked about him with Katy a lot more than he’d have his friend would have him believe.

Katy strokes Calum’s wrist gently. “Stand up to him with me.” She whispers, her tone encouraging and strong but her eyes, in contrast, are soft and pleading. “We can help each other keep our loved ones safe, Calum. That’s all we both really want, isn’t it?”

There’s a large part of Calum that wants to agree there and then. There’s an undeniable sincerity in Katy and her love for her brother is so strong that it radiates from her like the fumes from some deep burning fire that's fuelling her relentless quest to get Robert back and keep him safe.

It’s not just Katy’s love for her brother that plants a seed of doubt in Calum’s mind about his previous plans to keep running, but also the deep connection that’s clearly binding her to his best friend. Despite his exhaustion and the need to discuss things with his loved ones, Calum has a growing certainty that a fight with the demons of his past is inevitable and quite possibly immanent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this was okay, as always comments are very much appreciated <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit more of a light hearted chapter to break the tension for little while. 
> 
> As always thank you so much to my girls Katy and Holly for always encouraging and inspiring me!
> 
> Trigger warning for references to a car accident.

Luke’s pretty face is pale and his voice sounds a little groggy but he’s definitely brightened up considerably over the the few minutes that Michael’s been sitting with him.

“I wish they’d hurry up and bring Spencer in.” Luke sighs, sinking back against his pillows as his he blinks slowly. “I know they said he’s fine but I won’t believe it properly until I see him.” He adds, his dark blonde hair fanning out behind him as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth worriedly.

Michael nods, a sad smile on his lips as he leans forward in the uncomfortable blue plastic chair to stroke Luke’s arm comfortingly. “They’ll bring him up here soon enough.” He says gently. “It just seems like the two of you chose a busy day to get into a car accident.” The blonde adds dryly. 

Most people would probably find Michael’s sense of humour inappropriate for the situation, but he and Luke had always helped each other through a lot of tough and scary shit over the years with bad and ill timed jokes.

A tiny wave of laughter escapes Luke before it dies on a painful grimace. He holds his injured ribs for a moment as he catches his breath. “Can we make a deal?” He asks quietly. “No more jokes until both of us have fully healed ribs again?”

Michael nods in a agreement, his own ribs twinging as though his body is sympathising with Luke’s pain. “Yeah, I knew you always wanted to be like me Luke, but crashing your car just to get a matching injury to mine is taking it a bit too far, don't you think?”

Luke snorts as he slowly pulls up the covers around his chest until they’re tucked under his long, paler-than-usual arms. “I got a concussion as well so though." He smirks, giving a tiny shrug. "So I think I win, actually.”

The gentle smile on Michael’s lips widens a little as he allows himself to relax a bit. Luke’s safe and laughing at his jokes so the blonde _knows_ that everything will be just fine.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Luke slips his hand over Michael’s, which is resting on the crisp white bed sheets between them. He whispers his friend’s name lowly enough to prevent the couple of other patients on the ward wouldn’t be able to hear. “The other car came out of nowhere.” He mumbles. “I didn’t have chance to get out of the way, I...” His voice trails off into a quiet sob as he curls in on himself. 

“It wasn’t your fault, Luke.” Michael intercepts, carefully entwining their fingers together. “It was the same people that attacked me.” He adds quietly. 

Luke shudders, fixing Michael with a frightened gaze, his icy blue eyes silently begging for this to be just another of Michael's terrible jokes. “It _has_ to be a coincidence... right?”

Shaking his head, Michael tightens his grip on Luke’s hand. “Calum’s pretty sure it’s not, Lukey.”

Luke’s expression darkens at the mention of Calum’s name. “You’ve spoken to him?” The younger friend enquires, his voice a little strained as though he’s trying not to get angry.

“A little bit, yeah.” Michael confirms, hoping that his soft tone will help keep Luke calm. “He hasn’t told me any more about who these people are or anything but I think I’m getting closer to helping him open up about it.”

A disgruntled huff escapes the younger man. “If this is all his fault, Mike...” he takes a steadying breath, obviously trying to control his temper, as muted as it is by his pain medication. “It could have been so much worse, I’d never have forgiven him if...”

Luke’s sentence fades off as a flurry of movement over by the entrance to the ward catches his attention. His angry expression vanishing in an instant as his face lights up, uttering Spencer’s name under his breath.

Michael follows his friend’s gaze to watch Spencer being wheeled into the bay just opposite Luke. 

Somehow, Spencer still looks effortlessly cool and handsome, despite being paler than usual and wearing nothing but a hospital gown. 

The older man smiles widely as his hazel eyes meet Luke’s shimmering blue ones. “Well that’s just not fair...” Spencer says. “How’d you still look so fucking beautiful after the day we’ve had?” 

The two elderly men that form the rest of the ward’s occupants look over, both muttering indignantly to each other, undoubtedly less than impressed by Spencer’s colourful language.

Blushing slightly, Luke shakes his head. “Language, Spencer.” He chastises gently. “And I definitely don’t look beautiful at all! What drugs have they put you on?”

Adopting a fake frown, Spencer shrugs awkwardly, dislodging a strand of his dark hair that was previously tucked behind his ear. “Nothing but painkillers, unfortunately.” He replies with an over-dramatic sigh. 

Luke chuckles, his eyes sparkling like little crystals in the fluorescent overhead lights. “I’m just glad you’re okay...”

“I’m fine, Luke.” Spencer interrupts softly. “I promise.”

The youngest man almost beams, the drowsiness caused by his painkillers lifting a little as his face brightens more by the second.

Michael almost feels as though he’s intruding on a private moment and he’s less than a second away from excusing himself when Luke finally pulls his gaze away from Spencer to look back at Michael, simultaneously squeezing the blonde’s hand as though he knows what his best friend is thinking of doing. 

The small gesture reminds Michael that their fingers are still interlaced and he suddenly feels embarrassed, like they shouldn’t be holding hands in front of Spencer. His pink cheeks and the hasty removal of his hand from Luke’s inevitably draws the eldest friend’s attention. 

Much to Michael’s relief, Spencer simply smiles fondly. “I was away for five minutes and you’ve already found a new hand to hold, Luke?” He asks teasingly.

Luke rolls his eyes and they sparkle prettily as they come to rest on the older man across the mostly empty space between their beds. “I was holding Michael’s hand long before you came into my life, Mr.” He chides. 

It’s obvious to Michael by the look in their eyes and the soft tone to their voices that Spencer and Luke were already pretty gone for each other. He wonders faintly whether the extreme circumstances surrounding their fragile, new relationship have accelerated it, pushing them together faster and harder than they otherwise would have. 

The new couple talk softly, ensuring each other feel okay after the accident with subtle or humorous enquiries such as; “I hope your concussion won’t effect the part of your brain that registers how hot I am, Lukey...” and “I’m glad it’s just your ribs that got smushed, Spencer.” As opposed to the simple old classics “how’re you feeling?” Or “are you in a lot of pain?” 

If the situation wasn’t so sickeningly cute, Michael would have teased the two of them relentlessly. As it is, he simply sits back quietly, trying to allow himself to relax for a moment. His friends are both here and their minor injuries shouldn’t take too long to heal. For the moment they’re all safe, and Michael tries to let that sink in as his friends continue their obvious flirting.

It’s only when Calum walks into the room though, that Michal lets himself fully relax. Despite everything, there’s no denying that Calum makes him feel happy and safe. Maybe the same tumultuous circumstances that have pushed Spencer and Luke together have worked similarly for Michael and Calum too. 

The blonde smiles subconsciously as Calum traipses closer. The younger man returns the tiny smile before turning his attention to Spencer. 

As Calum greets his friend quietly and a little hesitantly, Michael notices the other two newcomers for the first time.

Ashton rushes over to Spencer in such an uncharacteristic display of emotion that it takes Michael aback. He knows Ashton as Calum’s sensible and level-headed and emotionally distant friend. This teary-eyed, affectionate man that engulfs Spencer in a tight hug, is almost unrecognisable.

Luke lets out an indignant huff that’s barely audible, even to Michael who’s still sitting right next to him. The youngest friend has never been one to play down his emotions and his anger towards Calum is obviously enhanced by the older man’s seemingly absent concern for Luke.

Even though Michael wants to reassure his best friend and have him talk with Calum to bury the hatchet, the blonde is somewhat distracted by the pretty stranger standing awkwardly at Spencer’s bedside. 

Michael vaguely recognises the petite girl with the soft curly brown hair but he can’t quite place her in his memories. Before he can think on it for too long, Luke whispers just loud enough for his friend to hear. “Do you know that girl?” He asks, his voice harbouring a little of the anger he’s holding back for Calum. “Do you think she’s lost?”

Michael shrugs, shaking his head thoughtfully. He smiles hesitantly at the young woman and rises stiffly to his feet, crossing the small distance between them much slower than he would have liked, due to his lingering injuries. He waves casually to get her attention before stopping at the bottom of Spencer's bed.

The stranger seems a little shocked at being addressed, albeit silently and Michael assumes that she must not have noticed him or Luke beforehand. Her pretty eyes widen as they take in the faded bruising on Michael’s face and the way he holds himself awkwardly because of his injured ribs.

“Are you here to see Spencer?” Michael asks quietly, keeping his tone as light as possible. The stranger looks so small and fragile that he’s sort of afraid that she’ll break if he frightens her. “Do you know him?”

The girl nods her head, her dark curls falling forward to frame her face. “Well, sort of...” she corrects herself. “I’m just here with Ashton, actually.”

The sound of his name alerts Ashton to the conversation that’s happening behind him. His handsome face is still wrought with emotion as he nods, wiping his wet eyes with the back of his hand. “Yeah sorry...” He sniffles. “This is Katy, we work together... or used to I guess.” He somehow looks even sadder now, at the prospect not working with this girl any longer. 

Katy steps closer to the older man, a small, sad smile turning her lips upwards a fraction as she strokes Ashton’s arm comfortingly through his leather jacket before turning her attention back to Michael and holding out her free hand for him to shake. “You’re Michael, right?” She asks, her tone a little more confident now. “I’ve seen you a few times, you used meet Ashton after his shifts with Calum sometimes, didn’t you?”

Michael nods, taking the hand that’s offered to him and shaking it gently, still concerned that he might damage Katy if his grip was too firm. There’s something about this girl that makes her instantly likeable. She seems to radiate warmth and kindness, although there’s an undeniable sadness lingering just below the surface of her seemingly calm exterior. “I can’t believe we’re _finally_ officially meeting.” Michael remarks, hoping to dispel even a tiny amount of the cloud of unhappiness lurking in her pretty eyes.

It works - sort of. Katy smiles brighter, her face lightening with it as though her worries are momentarily overpowered by a more positive emotion. “It feels like it’s been a long time coming, doesn’t it?” She chuckles as her gaze flickers over to Calum. “I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other from now on though.” Her smile seems to take on a sadder quality. “I just wish it were for happier reasons.”

Before Michael can voice his confusion about the statement, Ashton slips an arm around Katy’s shoulders, drawing her close to him as he regards Michael with a warning sort of glare. “We can all talk about that later.” He suggests softly.

Part of Michael wants to enquire further, he needs to know why Katy’s so sure that they’ll be seeing more of each other, however his attempt at furthering the conversation is thwarted by a gentle hand on his shoulder.

The familiar sensation of being touched, even so innocently by Calum is enough to wipe everything else from his mind almost instantly. 

“I’ll explain everything later, angel.” Calum whispers, planting a kiss into Michael’s blonde locks as though the tiny gesture is an automatic action, something that Calum instinctively does when the older man needs reassurance.

Michael kind of forgets that he even has any questions and simply nods, relishing in the contentment that washes over him at being so close to Calum. He’d missed this over the last week or so.

“So you’re the famous Katy, huh?” Spencer asks, his voice overly-cheerful as through he’s trying to break up the melancholy tension that’s started to descend on the group now that conversation has died. “Ashton’s told us _a lot_ about you.” He smirks, turning his pale face fondly towards the man in question.

Michael’s pretty sure that Ashton would usually fiercely try to defend himself but right now he just gives a conceding shrug as he holds Katy closer.

The waitress’s cheeks turn a rosy pink as he nestles into Ashton’s chest. “I really hoped that the first time I officially met you all would be under much happier circumstances.” She mutters.

“Better this, than one of Ashton’s ‘parties’.” Spencer’s quips dryly. “Having my ribs almost crushed by a seatbelt is definitely more fun than being subjected pictionary and charades for hours on end.”

Ashton narrows his eyes in a sort of warning as he meets Spencer’s gaze, although both men’s faces betray far too much fondness for Michael to mistaken the exchange as anything more than friendly banter. He joins Calum, Luke and Katy in a their ripple of light laughter. 

Despite everything Michael’s love of having all of the most important people in his life in one place is undeniable. Now that he knows Spencer and Luke will be fine and Calum’s frostiness towards him seems to be thawing, Michael’s pretty sure that he can get through anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think of this, I’m getting worried that the pacing is terrible...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the single longest chapter I’ve ever written :’) 
> 
> It’s a lot of fluff and sort of the calm before the storm. There's also a couple of new perspectives in this chapter and you all get to find out a bit more about Ashton <3
> 
> As always I have to thank Katy and Holly for their constant encouragement!
> 
>  
> 
> Trigger warning for refences to self harm and suicidal thoughts.

Over the last five minutes or so, most of the group has lapsed into a comfortable ripple of conversation. Spencer seems to be taking advantage of Ashton’s sappy mood that was no doubt brought on by the guilt Calum knows his best friend is harbouring. The two older men were now discussing how best to fix Luke’s car and Calum has to hold in a giggle at Ashton’s confused expression, he's never been that into cars and he definitely doesn't know where to start when it comes to fixing them.

Michael had drifted closer to Katy, seemingly intent on making her feel comfortable within their close-knit circle. Calum finds it hard to suppress a wave of fondness for the blonde. Even with everything he’s trying to come to terms with right now, he’s still putting on a brave face and putting others before himself.

Despite wanting to keep as physically close to Michael as possible, the blonde seems content in his conversation with Katy and Calum has no desire to interrupt them. 

The only other person that’s not currently deep in discussion with anyone else, is Luke. The youngest friend seems to be quietly and patiently awaiting Michael’s return to his bedside.

Even though he’s not really fond of the idea, Calum finally convinces himself that it’s the perfect time to try and make amends with Michael’s best friend. After all, there’s still a possibility that this could be the last chance they get to talk if Calum still decides to leave.

Luke’s jaw tightens and his previously soft blue eyes darken as Calum meets his gaze and steps a little closer to the younger man’s hospital bed.

“How’re you feeling?” The older man asks lamely, his fingers subconsciously brushing over the metal bar at the foot of Luke’s bed. 

“On top of the fucking world.” Luke replies sarcastically. “How the hell do you think I’m feeling?” His voice is dripping with distain and a hint of anger. 

Calum’s too exhausted and guilt ridden to argue. He slumps into the chair that Michael has just risen from. “I’m so sorry, Luke.” He mumbles quietly. “I never meant for any of you to get hurt.”

Luke’s pretty face tightens in a scowl, his jaw twitching like he’s trying to talk himself out of saying or doing something undoubtedly scathing. 

The older man knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he fully deserves whatever nasty remarks are perched on the end of Luke’s tongue. Every wrong move Calum’s ever made in his mess of a life has led to innocent people getting hurt. For a moment he considers leaving, just slipping away whilst his loved ones all have their attention on each other. Calum knows he could easily sneak out unnoticed right now, by everyone other than Luke who the older man is certain wouldn’t try to stop him.

“I don’t know what kind of skeletons you’re hiding in your closet, Calum.” Luke growls. “But just know this, I don’t trust you and I probably never will.”

The words cut Calum deeper than he cares to admit. His past mistakes have reduced him to this, a fundamentally untrustworthy person. Calum’s nerves have already been scraped raw today, the terror he’d felt when he first realised Spencer and Luke were in danger, followed by his breakdown in front of Michael, it's all left him feeling the most vulnerable he’d felt in a very long time. 

The truth of the matter is that Calum is used to shutting himself away, only needing to worry about himself and Ashton. The last few days had been a wake up call, to say the very least. Realising that Spencer and Michael were in as much danger as Ashton, has left Calum feeling exposed and kind of fragile, like he’s let himself and everyone around him down.

Some of the emotion must show on Calum’s face because Luke’s expression, seemingly unwittingly, softens. The younger friend’s eyes betray something like pity and for some reason he suddenly reminds Calum of the young police officer that had been present at his questioning that night all those years ago... It feels like a lifetime ago, but it's still so fresh in Calum’s mind. He remembers every tiny detail; the smell of the little interview room, the feel of the cheap wooden table top under his trembling fingers, the grating sound of metal on tile as his stuffy old attorney had shuffled his chair closer to the table.

The unbidden memories are the final straw for Calum. He slumps forward in his seat, cupping his hands over his face to shield his shameful tears. He’s vaguely aware of Luke beckoning Michael over but a few long, lonely seconds tick by before Calum feels the blonde’s comfortingly familiar, warm arms envelope him in a caring hug.

“It’s okay, Cal...” Michael hushes gently, placing a kiss into Calum’s dark curls. “I’m here.”

Faintly, Calum’s aware of the silence that has descended over the rest of the group. He has no space in his worry-filled brain to care that his loved ones must think he’s ridiculous for breaking down. He’s brought all this on himself and he can’t cope with the loneliness and paranoia anymore. 

It takes a long time for Calum’s shoulders to stop shaking with sobs as Michael holds him closely. When he finally lifts his head, the blonde’s pretty, concerned green eyes are the first things Calum sees and he’s never been more grateful for them. He mumbles a tearful apology as Michael kneels down in front of him, stroking the damp skin of one of Calum’s cheeks softly with the pad of his thumb. “What happened, babe?” The blonde asks, concern lacing every word as he strokes Calum’s curls with his free hand. 

No one seems to have the ability to calm Calum like Michael does, not even Ashton, despite their many years of friendship. Michael just seems to have a unidentifiable quality that helps Calum feel better even in his darkest moments. He forces a smile and reaches up to cradle Michael’s cheek with one trembling hand. “I’m just so _fucking_ sorry, Michael.” He sobs quietly. “It’s all my fault and I just can’t... I want to make it up to you all but...”

“You’ll have the chance to.” A second, sweet voice interjects. Calum’s eyes reluctantly leave Michael’s in order to look at Katy. The younger girl smiles sadly as she steps beside Michael and leans a little closer to Calum. “I’ll help you make things right.” She promises. “I’m gonna find a way to get Robert out anyway, the least I can do is help you in the process.”

Even though Michael’s evidently a little confused, he places a gentle arm around Katy’s shoulders and pulls her closer.

The added support from someone who’s little more than a stranger to him, seems to give Calum the new determination he’s needed for a hell of a long time. His heart feels lighter in his chest and even with Luke’s sceptical expression in his peripheral vision, Calum finally allows himself to admit that he needs the help that’s being offered. “I want to help you too.” He whispers, his own words taking him by surprise, but he means them wholeheartedly. If they can work together to help someone to stop making the same mistakes as Calum had in his teenage years, by _finally_ facing his past, then maybe just _maybe_ he can finally have a life.

***

Seeing Calum break down like that was difficult for Ashton. He’s been friends with the younger man for years and although he’d been expecting this to happen one day, Ashton’s not sure he’d prepared himself for it.

As Calum had sobbed in the chair, Ashton had stayed frozen next to Spencer’s bed. His legs had felt even more useless than they usually do, rooted to the spot like old tree stumps.

All he’d wanted to do was hold Calum and tell him that everything would be fine but Ashton’s body had refused to listen to his brain. Luckily for him, Michael has Katy had been on hand to calm and reassure Calum. 

He’d watched in tense silence with Spencer as Calum had agreed to help Katy. Tears began sting his eyes as the truth washed over him. His best friend and the girl he knows he’s already fallen head over heels for, are planning on working together to bring down a dangerous criminal gang. 

Although the very thought of two of the most important people in his life being in such danger makes Ashton’s blood run cold, he can’t help but feel a shred of comfort in the fact that Calum and Katy are planning to work together. Also, on a rather selfish level, Ashton is pleased that Calum agreed to helping Katy so easily because it would have left him in a terrible situation if he had to choose who deserved his help more.

After sharing a lingering and tearful embrace with Calum and Michael, Katy rises up to her full height and turns to look at Ashton over her shoulder. He can’t help but smile fondly at her. Despite everything going on around them, Ashton still has butterflies whenever Katy looks his way or stands next to him or smiles, or does anything at all really.

Katy’s cheeks redden a little as she drifts closer to him, her eyes shining with tears. Ashton instinctively opens his arms even though his heart is threatening to beat out of his chest. The younger girl seemingly automatically throws her arms around his waist, cuddling into him. “Calum said he’d help me.” She sobs quietly. 

It’s obvious how much this means to Katy and Ashton has never been prouder of Calum for finally accepting some responsibility. Underneath all of his worries, Ashton’s just determined to take care of all of the people closest to him, that includes Katy now... _Fucking finally_ , the girl who hasn’t left his mind since the day she started working at the cafe, was becoming more than just someone he works with. 

Sure, for most people, getting closer to someone you’re attracted to involves nothing more than inviting them to dinner or to the cinema. Ashton has never really lived a normal life though, his useless mother had made sure his childhood was far from average and during in his teen years he’d definitely felt just about as far from _normal_ as possible.

After spending the vast majority of his life alone and feeling utterly unloved by those around him, unsurprisingly, Ashton had reached a very dark place in his life throughout this late teens. When self-inflicted physical pain had finally stopped dulling the bone-deep loneliness that had almost completely hollowed him out, he’d pretty much accepted that he only had one option left.

Ashton shakes his head, pushing those memories and hopeless feeling back into the emotional box he’d built for them a long time ago. He focuses on the here and now, just like he’d trained himself to do. He holds Katy close and kisses the top of her head, a tiny gesture of affection as well a thank you for something she’ll hopefully never know she helped with.

His thoughts are interrupted by Spencer’s hushed voice. “Ash, can I talk to you for a sec?” He asks.

Katy pulls back and Ashton feels instantly less content without her warmth. “I can go get us coffee, or something?” She suggests, although her beautiful eyes betray a level of apprehension. Ashton knows that Katy’s probably concerned that she’ll be the subject of Spencer’s conversation.

Feeling suddenly protective, Ashton pulls Katy close again before guiding her closer to Spencer’s bed. “What is it, Spence?” He asks, ensuring his tone suggests that he’s about to defend Katy to the death of he needs to.

Although Spencer gives the younger girl a furtive glance as she accompanies Ashton to his bedside, he doesn’t seem overly concerned by her presence, in fact he seems much more worried about where Calum is.

Luckily Michael chooses that moment to drag Calum over to Luke’s bed, apparently intent up on getting his best friend and his boyfriend, if Calum _was_ Michael’s boyfriend again, Ashton’s yet to figure that out, to talk.

“Can I ask you something?” Spencer asks, drawing Ashton’s attention back to his eldest friend. His voice sounds a little nervous as he adds. “You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to.”

His interest piqued, Ashton nods cautiously. “If course.” He replies. “I’ll answer if I can.”

Spencer bites his lips together anxiously as he shoots Calum another cautious glance. “I already know that you go hurt by these guys that have it in for Calum.” He says quietly. “I know they fucked you up pretty bad, but you haven’t once contemplated leaving him to fight his own battles, have you?”

Ashton shrugs his tired shoulders, however a his heart gives a painful pang in his chest. The slightly guilty look on Spencer’s face seems to tell a story that Ashton’s sure he’s not going to like. “Now you’ve been hurt, you’re thinking of ditching him?” He asks, hoping more than anything that he’s wrong.

A deep pink tinges Spencer’s cheeks as he sighs. “I don’t want to _ditch_ him, Ash.” He clarifies hastily. “I’m his friend and I knew he had a shady past but Luke... He barely even knows Calum and I can’t stand to see him get hurt again.”

Before Ashton can think of a suitable response, Spencer reaches out to him, holding the younger man’s wrist softly. “And now you have Katy too, we need to come up with some sort of plan to keep everyone safe.”

Despite the logical words, Ashton gets caught up on the first part of Spencer’s sentence and splutters, fixing Katy with a look that must betray how deeply terrified he is that she heard the insinuation that they were anything more than casual friends.

Katy’s cheeks are little pink but she smiles, slipping her arm around Ashton’s waist and curling into him, almost like a silent approval, like she’s happy for people to think she’s more to him than just an ex-work colleague. “I don’t need protecting.” She smiles softly. “I want to help Calum, I’m sure we’ll all be able to discuss everything properly when you’re feeling better.”

Spencer shoots the younger girl a confused glare that lingers on his handsome features as he returns his gaze to Ashton.

“We do have a lot to talk about when you and Luke get out of here, hopefully tomorrow.” Ashton smiles sadly. “But right now you both need rest...”

Spencer shakes his head defiantly. “I want to know what’s going on, Ash.” He states firmly. “Luke and I both fucking deserve that.”

Nodding mournfully, Ashton takes Spencer’s hand. "It’s entirely up to Katy and Calum how and when to tell you everything that’s happened with them and I don’t think either of them are quite up to it today, Spence.” He explains gently.

Before Spencer can protest and argue, Ashton checks that Calum is still preoccupied with Luke and Michael before turning back to his eldest friend. “But I can answer something that I know you’ve been wondering for a while, especially today.” He continues purposefully.

The promise of some information, even if it is just a nugget to keep him quiet, seems to pique Spencer’s interest and he settles back in his pillows, almost like a child awaiting a bedtime story.

“I can tell you the biggest reason I’ve stood by Calum all these years, even if after I got hurt.” Ashton gives an almost guilty sideways glance to Katy, he knows that now they’re bound to be spending more time together he needs to tell her about what happened a few years ago, but now's not quite the time.

Despite the curiosity and concern painted on Katy’s beautiful face, she seems to understand that Ashton’s priority right now is the story he’s about to tell Spencer. She gives him a reassuring nod as she tightens her grip on his leather jacket.

Katy feels like such a comforting force beside him as Ashton looks back to Spencer. “I was in such a bad place when I met Calum.” He explains quietly, his hands already starting to tremble with the effort to keep his latest wave of emotion at bay. “I’d kind of reached a point where I was about to give up.” 

Ashton automatically tightens in hold on both Katy and Spencer. “I’d um...” his voice falters and he has to swallow hard past the lump in his throat. “I’d already started giving away the few measly possessions I had back then, knowing I wouldn’t have a need for them for much longer.”

Katy cuddles closer to him like she knows the physical contact is helping him. She whispers his name, her voice thick with tears but Ashton can’t bring himself to look at her, he has to hold himself together. “I was taking a box of stuff a charity shop one morning. There was a boy sitting on the steps outside my apartment building. He looked kinda sad and helpless, the physical embodiment of my own feelings I guess.” His voice sounds quiet and the tremors running through him start to become more violent. “To this day I don’t know the real reason why I stopped to talk to him.” 

Spencer squeezes Ashton’s hand gently. “It’s okay, Ash...”

Ashton shakes his head. He’s started his story and he’s determined to finish it, he’s never told it to anyone before and it already feels like a weight is being lifted from his weary shoulders. “He was lonely and frightened, he wouldn’t tell me why he was scared at first but he told me needed a place to stay but he had no money and to get a job he needed an address. Even though I was so close to... I felt like I could at least help this kid first, if he stayed with me for a while and got a job then he could keep the apartment and at least I’d be able to say I’d done _something_ with my miserable fucking life.”

When Ashton finally finds the strength to look up, he's surprised to see that Katy isn’t the only one crying, Spencer’s defined cheeks are damp with tears and his hazel eyes are shiny.

“You never left Calum’s side because you feel like you owe him your life?” The eldest friend asks, his voice barely a whisper.

Ashton nods sadly. “I _do_ owe him my life. I’d already resigned myself to ending it, Spence... I’d chosen a bridge and a time and I felt nothing, nothing at all until I met that sad boy that just needed a place to stay. The way he befriended me and did everything in his power to thank me for the small act of letting him sleep on my sofa in my poky flat are the _only reasons_ I lived long enough to get hurt in the first place.”

Spencer sniffles as he pulls Ashton into a hug, unintentionally pulling Katy with him. Sandwiched between two of the most important people in his life Ashton finally feels brave enough to utter the final part of his story. “It was that night, the night those bastards tracked Calum down and beat me to a bloody pulp in front of him just to prove a point, that I finally realised I couldn’t ever leave him. I knew he’d always need me and I swore to myself I’d protect him for as long as I could.”

“He’s going to get through this, Ash” Katy mutters quietly. “We _all_ are.”

Spencer nods. “You’re not the only one helping him now, Ash.” He agrees earnestly. “We can all watch each other’s backs from now on, no one else will get hurt.”

Even though there’s a nagging feeling in Ashton’s chest that Spencer’s words might prove false, he forces himself to nod. His friends don’t need any more worry today. 

“Are you guys alright?” Calum asks from across the room, breaking through the fog of Ashton’s thoughts.

“We’re fine.” Spencer confirms calmly, thumbing away his tears. “Ashton’s just over here being a sappy bitch and making me cry.” He gives a watery chuckle as he allows his gaze to fall to Luke. “But I’m still a badass, I promise! I’m a strong sexy guy but I still have feelings, y’know.”

Luke’s sparkling blue eyes are much too fond as her rolls them. “You don’t need to try and win me over, Spence.” He sighs dramatically. “That ship’s already sailed, Mr.”

Spencer grins widely before he looks around at each of his friends in turn. “When are you guys gonna leave so I sneak into Luke’s bed?” He asks flatly. 

Ashton has a strong suspicion that his friend is only _half_ joking. He wipes his damp eyes with the back of one hand as a smirk curls the corners of his lips. “I don’t think they allow that in here, buddy.” He says sceptically.

“Who cares what they allow?” Luke interjects. “I think we deserve to be able to cuddle, tonight.” Despite the smile on his face there’s no doubt the youngest friend is being completely serious. 

“I don’t know about the rest of you...” Michael yawns. “But I sure as hell don’t want to be around for their _cuddling_ ” 

Calum chuckles softly. “Me either, we’ll leave you two, rebels to it.” He smirks, glancing between Luke and Spencer before his dark eyes settle on Ashton. “You coming, mate?”

Ashton glances down at Katy who looks back at him with something like disappointment in her eyes. “You do look tired, Ashy.” She smiles faintly. “Maybe you should go home now.”

As tempting as the thought of collapsing into his bed is, the idea of leaving Katy makes his heart hurt a lot more than it probably should do. “I’m actually more hungry than tired...” He half lies. “Do you wanna grab dinner with me first?” 

He has no idea where the sudden confidence comes from but he sees his own shock at the words falling from his mouth reflecting back at him from every other face in the room.

“That only took, what? How many months, Cal?” Spencer smirks. “At least six, right?”

Even Luke gives Ashton a cheeky wink as he nervously waits for an answer.

“Well I kinda had my evening all mapped out...” Katy smirks teasingly. “I actually had a pretty hot date planned with a book and a microwave meal for one. How do you plan to tempt me away from that kind of fun?”

Ashton returns the smirk as he replies with more humour than he’s felt in what feels like years. “Well I’ve heard that the pub down the road serves food that tastes just like ready meals! And I reckon I could at least equal the quality of conversation you’d get from your book.”

He’s vaguely aware of the ripple laughter from his friends but he only cares about the way that Katy’s pretty eyes sparkle as she smiles and nods enthusiastically. “Well if you’re making those kinds of promises, I’d be a fool to say no, wouldn’t I?”

Before Ashton can think of a witty response, Spencer interjects. “Umm, Yeah! You’ve waited long enough for him to ask, haven’t you?” He shrugs. “And if it gets you all out of the way so that I can finally have Luke all to myself, then I strongly suggest you all hurry the fuck along.” His tone is almost cheerful and despite the day they’d all endured, Ashton thinks he might understand why his friend is in such high spirits. 

It almost feels like they’ve turned a corner, like they’re all finally united and of the same mindset for the first time ever. As he hugs Spencer goodbye and aims an almost cheerful wave to Luke, Ashton actually feels as though things just _might_ turn out alright.

***

On the journey back to the car park, Katy can’t help but revel in the feelings washing over her. Having spent so long being alone and feeling hopeless, she finally has a reason to believe that a positive outcome is possible. Not only has her first choice of help accepted her offer, it feels as though she’s actually started laying the foundations for some important friendships, the kind she'd never really had before.

She’d barely met Luke and Spencer but she already feels like she knows they’re lovely people that deserve each other. The playful banter they’d shared just now also shows a resilience and the ability to look forward rather than dwell on something that’s already happened, even if the _something_ is a potentially serious car accident that had only happened earlier that very day.

Calum is far from the down and out guy she’d been expecting. Sure, he's been feeling defeated and frightened but it seems that her offer of support had given him an extra dose of determination. Despite his understandably reserved nature, Calum seems to be a generally lovely person. Someone that Katy really hopes to get to know much more once Robert is home safely and Calum’s old enemies are no longer a threat to him.

Katy knows she probably shouldn’t have a favourite within her new group of friends, but she can’t help it. Michael is just the sort of endearing person that she’s instantly drawn to. He’d shown her the most sincere kindness and acceptance before he’d even learnt her name and she finds it impossible not relate to the way he wears his heart on his sleeve. The way he looks at Calum with his tired green eyes, his deep and unconditional love for the younger boy painfully evident even as his heavy lids threaten to hide them from view, is all she ever wants to see in Ashton’s when he looks at her.

Just the very thought of Ashton makes katy’s stomach flip. She’s never really had the time to explore her feelings for anyone she might have been vaguely attracted to, in the past, but Ashton had captivated her from the very second she’d laid eyes on him. At first she’d reprimanded herself for instantly falling for one of the very people she was here to ask for help, but over the months they’d worked together she’d realised that fighting herself on it was useless. Ashton’s utterly lovable. Yes, he still poses somewhat of a question mark and Katy still has a lot to learn about him but she already knows she’s hopelessly gone for him. She just really hopes that he’s not really aware of that yet, the thought of _anyone_ knowing how deep her feelings are for this boy, let alone the boy himself, makes her feel more scared than she'd care to admit.

Even though it makes her feel a little guilty, Katy allows herself to smile discreetly as she leads the way into the spacious lift. Her mind has been full of worry and vague plans to get her brother back for as long as she can remember. She also knows that those concerns are still lurking just beneath the surface now, waiting for tomorrow when she plans to talk to the boys about a strategy. Right now though, it feels sort of nice to put all of that on the back burner for a few hours. 

As the heavy metal doors slide closed, Katy subconsciously shuffles closer to Ashton. Her heart almost beats out of her chest as he tentatively curls his his fingers around hers, intertwining them as he he gives her a sort of bashful, sideways smile.

On some level it feels a little peculiar to have such positive and probably ‘normal’ feelings in the midst of such an unusual and potentially dangerous situation. Katy makes a conscious decision in that moment not to beat herself up over it, though. There’s nothing she can do for Robert tonight, but when the time comes to get him back she’ll put her heart and soul into it. In the meantime, she’s pretty sure she deserves to enjoy Ashton’s company.

“I’m not really going to take you to a pub that makes food that takes like microwave meals.” The older man whispers, a tiny smile curling the corners of his lips.

Although he looks tired and the stress of still trying to protect Calum and his other friends is still lingering just beneath the surface, Ashton’s face is brighter and the most relaxed Katy has ever seen it. She returns his smile. “Damn right you’re not, Irwin.” She sniggers. “For one thing, I’m driving so I’m the one with the final say, really.”

Ashton joins Michael and Calum in laughing at Katy’s lighthearted remark and she can’t help but join in too.

“There’s a really beautiful, expensive Thai restaurant about a ten minute drive away.” Michael remarks in what can only be described as a stage whisper. “You _definitely_ deserve that after how long he’s kept you waiting.” His green eyes sparkle with mischief, despite how tired they look.

“This is why you’re my new best friend, Michael.” Katy smirks, squeezing his lower arm gently and affectionately. 

Before she can fully regret being so ridiculously over excited and presumptuous, Michael’s gaze softens. “Just remember that best friends always share the gossip after dates.” He winks, his facial expression and tone so friendly that it almost makes Katy’s heart melt. 

She’d never really had much time for friends, always focusing on finding and taking care of her brother. It feels odd but amazingly comforting to have someone she shares a sort of instant and mutual trust with, even if it is a little fragile at the moment, there’s definitely something that could blossom into a beautiful friendship if they’re given the time to let it grow.

Her thoughts are interrupted momentarily when the lift shudders to a halt as the mechanical voice issuing from the speakers announces that they’ve reached the ground floor before the doors slide open.

Katy’s gaze drifts between Michael and Calum as the four of them step out into the main entrance hall of the hospital. “Then I need to set aside at least a few nights to hear about all of yours and Calum’s?”

Michael’s cheeks redden slightly as he bashfully curls into his boyfriend, clinging to the taller man’s arm and almost trying to hidden behind it like a shy child. “Well um... I guess we kind of skipped the _dating_ period.” He mumbles.

An embarrassed laugh escapes Calum but he looks at Michael so fondly that Katy’s heart threatens to explode with love. “That’s because I just couldn’t wait to get you into my bed, angel.” He sighs sweetly. “Besides, it was too late to take you for dinner when you finished your shift at the bar.”

The group descends into another trickle of laughter as they cross the threshold of the automatic doors. The temperature instantly drops the second they step outside into the growing darkness and Katy shivers involuntarily. Before she’s even had chance to tighten her jacket around herself, Ashton lets go of her hand for the first time since leaving Spencer’s and Luke’s ward, in order to wrap his arm around her and pulls her into his side. 

Katy swears that she must be practically glowing as she nestles comfortably into her crush of goodness knows how many months.

Michael smirks knowingly at his new friend as he continues to cling onto Calum’s arm. “I hear that comparing boyfriends is also a _best friend_ activity.” He says pointedly. “I guess we already know who bagged the ‘gentleman’” The blonde adds, slapping Calum’s arm playfully.

“I’ve always had a severe lack of self control!” Calum giggles, although the brightness in his chocolatey eyes fizzles out as the truth of those words and the darker things that that particular personality trait had brought into his life, seep into his mind.

“I’m not sorry about it.” Michael smiles, his eyes filled with the deepest love and the purest sincerity that Katy had ever seen. “I wouldn’t change that night for the whole world.” He adds, placing a kiss to Calum’s shoulder through his leather jacket.

The two of them share a moment of lingering eye contact, and for a moment, Katy’s concerned the two of them will bump into something or someone as they lead the way to the car park. 

Luckily, before anything can happen as a result of Michael and Calum’s lack of concentration, Ashton clears his throat and asks, “so where’s everyone parked?”

The sound of Ashton’s voice snaps Michael and Calum our of their fond little daze and Katy has a hard time stifling a snigger as the they both blush.

“Umm, I was in section C, I think...” Calum replies hastily before turning his gaze to Katy. “Did you drive here too?” He asks, his cheeks still rosy from embarrassment.

The younger girl nods “yeah, I’m in section B.” Katy replies, unable to fully keep the smirk from her face now. “So we need to go this way, Ash.” She points to the left of the unevenly paved path they’re currently plodding along.

Ashton nods, slowing to halt as they reach the point where the two couples need to part ways. Before he can say anything, Calum gently pulls away from Michael and steps closer to Ashton before pulling him into what seems like a very emotional hug.

Katy takes a step back to allow the friends to have a brief moment and finds herself immediately enveloped in another pair of warm arms.

“I hope you enjoy your dinner with Ash.” Michael mumbles cheekily. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He adds with a wink as he pulls back from the hug. 

“What exactly would that rule out?” Katy asks, raising an eyebrow cheekily.

For a split second Michael’s expression is unreadable and Katy’s terrified that she’s overstepped a boundary already. To her utter relief, Michael snorts “not a lot.” His green eyes seem to sparkle in the dim light and Katy has the sudden urge to congratulate Calum on finding someone so close to perfect.

As Calum and Ashton pull back from their own hug, the younger boy beckons to Katy as Ashton briefly embraces Michael. 

“He’s a special guy, you know.” Calum whispers, low enough so that only Katy can hear him. “Please take care of him.”

The younger girl smiles as squeezes Calum tighter. “I know he is, and I’ll do my best.” She replies seriously before feeling the need to lighten the mood again. “But he only has to survive a dinner with me tonight, Calum.” She giggles. “After everything he’s been through I think he’ll be fine.”

As Calum steps back a little he chuckles. “Well he’s not got much experience in dating...”

“Neither have you, apparently.” Katy counteracts with a giggle. 

Michael laughs loudly as he reattaches himself to Calum’s arm. “I already love you, Katy.” He says proudly. “I’ve never seen anyone put Calum in his place like that before!”

There’s a definite bond there with Michael, Katy can feel it starting to grow, even though she’s known this boy for no more than a couple of hours. 

As Katy waves goodbye to her new friends, a sort of tense silence settles between her and Ashton. It’s the first time they’ve been properly alone since the kind-of-confessions they made to each other back in the ward about their feelings.

Even though she’s been harbouring a crush for Ashton for months, now that other people know about it, it seems more real. Somehow the attraction is now mixed with a flurry of worries and one concern that stands out against the rest is the possibility that Ashton may have some unrealistic expectations of her and this ‘date’. She’s definitely not experienced when it comes to romance, and although Calum had already made it clear that Ashton’s no lady’s man, it doesn’t stop Katy from thinking that maybe the older man is anticipating a _quick fix_ to the underlying tension that’s been pulling them together for months.

Some of her concerns melt away a little as Ashton offers her his hand shyly. “You don’t really want to go to the fancy Thai restaurant, do you?” He asks timidly, his cheeks almost glowing with the blush that’s painting them. “I mean I want to be romantic and impress you but I umm...”

Katy knows exactly what Ashton’s struggling to say and to save him the misplaced embarrassment of telling her that he’s broke, she smiles gently and cuts him off. “I’ve never been a lover of fancy food.” She shakes her head, causing her dark curls to float across her face momentarily, before bouncing back a little. “Give me an extra cheesy pizza and I’m the happiest girl ever.” She laces her fingers through Ashton’s as she leads the way to her car.

Despite his obvious embarrassment, Ashton smiles, his hazel eyes sparkling with a tiny hint of mischief. “Now that’s a meal I know I can deliver on!” He announces. “I know the place that makes the nicest pizza!”

Katy raises an eyebrow sceptically. “I highly doubt your favourite place can beat mine.” She challenges. “And seeing as I’m driving, I demand we try that first and if you still think your place is better, you can take me there to celebrate when we get Robert back and that bastard, Vince is out of our lives for good.”

The tremble that runs through Ashton at Katy’s words doesn’t escape her notice but she doesn’t mention it. She knows it must be hard for Ashton to hear Vince’s name, especially after suffering permanent physical damage at the hands of his henchmen. It’s something that she feels Ashton probably needs to talk about at some point, but not tonight. Tonight is about pizza and _pleasant_ conversation. “So do we have a deal?” She asks softly, tightening her grip on his hand.

Ashton gives a shaky smile and nod. “I accept your challenge, but I have to warn you that I’m a pizza expert!”

Rolling her eyes, she steers them in the right direction for her car. “Well I think you may have finally met your match then, Mr!”

By the time they reach the pizza take out place, darkness has fully engulfed the city. The drive hadn’t taken long, it’d been filled will pleasant conversation as well flirtatious glances and touches.

As Katy pulls up outside of the little take away and turns off the car, she could almost feel Ashton’s nervous energy mix with her own in the suddenly silent air of the cramped space.

The rumble of passing cars outside is the only sound as Katy finally meets Ashton’s gaze. “You’re not one of those demon people that like pineapple on their pizza, are you?” She asks, hoping more than anything that she doesn’t sound as nervous as she actually is.

Ashton lets out a giggle as he shakes his head. “Calum always says I’m boring but, give me pepperoni any day.”

A smile creeps across Katy’s face. Somehow it doesn’t surprise her that Ashton’s favourite pizza topping is the same as her own. “Then Calum’s not the guy I thought he was.” She smirks. “Pepperoni is the best pizza topping ever invented!”

A chuckle escapes Ashton and the tension seems to break so easily as though they were always meant to feel this comfortable around each other.

“Wanna share an extra large, super cheesy pepperoni pizza, then?” Ashton asks sweetly, his beautiful hazel eyes glimmering in the dim light.

Katy nods, still smiling, unable to stop herself. “Only if you want to admit defeat because I still guarantee that this place is better than yours...”

***

It’d been hard for Calum to keep his emotions in check during the car ride home. Michael had looked so sleepy and and soft on the passenger seat, his blonde head resting against the window as he’d fought to keep his eyes open. He’d asked if he could stay at Calum’s place, unable to face sleeping at his own apartment alone.

The younger man had agreed without hesitation and as he pulls up in the car park of his apartment building, the part of him that’s still scared at how in love with Michael he actually is, protests the decision, begging him to suggest Michael will be better off at his own place. Although, one look at the beautiful, sleepy man beside him, silences those sceptical voices in Calum’s head. He smiles gently as he kills the engine. “C’mon sleepy head.” He urges quietly. “It’s almost time for bed.”

“Almost?” Michael pouts. “I could honestly fall asleep right here.”

A tiny laugh escapes Calum as he opens his car door. “My bed’s a lot warmer and comfier, angel.” He insists. “Besides you haven’t eaten all day, I’m gonna make you some toast or a sandwich before we sleep.”

Michael nods, opening his own door before stepping out into the cold night air. Calum joins him a second later, locking the car as he leads the way into the apartment building.

The journey up to the second floor in the lift doesn’t take long at all but Michael still finds time to cling to Calum, curling into the taller man’s side as the rickety lift carries them upwards.

Even the part of Calum that still doesn’t know how to handle his feelings for Michael seems unable to resist the sweet gesture. He tenderly rubs a thumb over Michael’s shoulder until the lift judders to a halt and the heavy doors slide open.

As he leads the way to his apartment, Calum can’t help but to succumb to the calm that seems to have settled around him. Spencer and Luke are fine, probably causing all of the poor hospital staff headaches because they’re incapable of being a few feet apart and in separate beds for the night.

Perhaps one of the main reasons why Calum’s anxiety had reached it’s lowest point in years, was the fact that the worry on his best friend’s face had all but vanished. Ashton had looked so happy and relaxed with Katy, that Calum’s heart feels full of love for them. 

The other reason that he feels so content is still snuggled into Calum’s side, tucked safely beneath his arm as the younger man unlocks his front door. 

It’s odd, but even though the apartment is mostly packed up, it feels more like home than it ever has before. Faintly Calum wonders if that’s more to do the man in his arms than the almost empty rooms but he can’t dwell on that right now. “C’mon angel, why don’t you hop in the shower while I make you something to eat?”

Michael gives a sleepy smile and nod. “Do you have any jam for my toast?” He yawns, rubbing his beautiful eyes with the back of his fingers. 

It’s impossible for Calum to keep a fond smile from his face, “No sorry, we threw most of that sort of stuff away. I have some crunchy peanut butter, will that be okay?”

Michael nods again, “as long as it’s served with more cuddles.” He fixes Calum with a loving glance, his green eyes sparkling prettily. “I’ve really missed you and your cuddles, Calum.”

The simple sentence makes Calum’s heart race but he fights to hide his new surge of love. “I’ve missed you too, Mike.” He grins softly. “I’ll grab you some clothes to sleep in while you shower.”

Michael’s face lights up despite his fatigue as he reaches up place a kiss to Calum’s cheek. “That’d be perfect, thank you.”

As the older man toes off his shoes and pads down the hallway to the bathroom, Calum feels his skin tingle where Michael just kissed him. The old Calum would reprimand himself for being weak and sappy but present Calum is much to exhausted and full of new hope to worry about such things.

Once he’s laid out a hoodie and a pair of pyjama bottoms for Michael on his bed, Calum changes into a pair of sweats and an oversized grey jumper before busying himself in the kitchen. In addition to the toast Calum makes himself and Michael a cup of hot cocoa, hoping that the small gesture will go a tiny way to showing Michael he cares.

A little under ten minutes later the blonde appears in the kitchen doorway, looking entirely _too_ beautiful. His wet is hair clinging to his forehead and Calum’s clothes are a size too big, hanging loosely from his shoulders and waist. The younger man wouldn’t change a single thing about the scene at all and he suddenly realises just how appropriate his pet name of ‘angel’ is for Michael. There’s just no other word that comes close to describing this _perfect_ person.

Calum’s sure that his expression is all too fond as he gestures to the seat opposite him at the tiny kitchen table. “I made you some cocoa.” He mumbles lamely. 

Michael smiles appreciatively. “Thanks, Cal.” He whispers as he takes his seat.

They eat in silence for a few moments, the air growing thick with tension as Calum shifts his feet under the table, accidentally grazing Michael’s bare foot with one of his own.

The blonde doesn’t jolt at the contact, his cheeks glow a little pinker but other than that he shows no sign that he’s even aware of the contact.

Just as the apprehension hanging heavily in the air around them threatens to overwhelm Calum, Michael makes the brave first move. He reaches across the table, his pale fingertips brushing the knuckles of Calum’s hand that’s curled into a nervous fist next to his mug. “Calum...” He whispers, the slight tremor his voice betraying how nervous he is. “Can I ask you something?” He questions, his green eyes glimmering in the dim light. 

Calum swallows anxiously, nodding his permission as he unfurls his fingers and interlaces them with Michael’s.

The gesture seems to give Michael a small burst of confidence. He straightens up in his seat and his gaze appears to strengthen, “If you’re really going to help Katy get her brother back, does that mean your staying?” He asks cautiously.

Calum nods slowly. “I don’t see how I can help her if I leave.” He shrugs. “I do think that we all need to discuss everything tomorrow when Spencer and Luke are home from the hospital.” The dark haired man explains. “I _need_ to make sure everyone understands and has their questions answered before we make any plans at all.”

Michael’s eyes start to shine with unshed tears. “I can’t loose you, Calum.” He confesses, his voice thick with emotion. “Please don’t leave without me.”

His heart feels as though it’s about ready to burst out of his chest as Calum gets to his feet and moves around the table. Michael shifts in his seat so that he’s facing the younger man as Calum drops to the blonde’s height. “I’ve been a selfish fool, Mike.” He whispers, running the pad of his thumbs along Michael’s cheekbones. “I kept my biggest secrets from you in the hope that you’d just get tired of me and leave me so that it’d make it easier for me to disappear again.” The younger man fights back tears as he leans in closer to Michael. “But know I can’t do that now, whatever plans we make tomorrow, I _need_ you to be in them.”

Michael immediately looks visibly lighter as relief washes over him. He pulls Calum into his arms burying his face into the taller man’s shoulder as Calum wraps him in a tight hug. “I love you, Calum.” He mumbles thickly.

Gently stroking Michael’s sopping blonde locks, Calum hushes the older man sweetly. “I love you too, angel.” He pulls back a little to look as Michael again, his fingers still tangled in the older man’s hair.

The blonde’s eyes are still damp with tears as his he fixes Calum with a gaze that proves his words are true, the green orbs radiating a deep affection that the younger man’s still worried that he doesn’t quite deserve.

Despite the concerns lingering in the back of his mind, Calum initiates the kiss that’s felt inevitable all day. He cradles Michael’s face gently as their lips touch for the first time in over a week. It almost feels like their first kiss all over again. Although Michael’s lips are familiar now, Calum’s as desperate to press his own to them as hard as possible, just like he had the first night they’d met.

Michael sinks into it as though it’s all he’s wanted since the night Calum had practically threw him out of this very apartment.

Even though the kiss lasts for a very long moment it doesn’t become heated or lustful. It’s soft and affectionate and the most _loving_ gesture Calum’s ever given to or received from another human being, at least in a romantic sense.

A contented sigh escapes Michael as the kiss comes to a natural end. He smiles sleepily, keeping his hands where they’d fallen to rest on Calum’s shoulders. 

“Are you finished with your toast and cocoa?” Calum asks, throwing a glance as the half empty plate and mug.

Michael nods, a tiny yawn escaping him. “Can we go to bed please? I’ve missed falling asleep next to you.”

It’s impossible for Calum to deny his boyfriend’s request. He quickly throws the scraps of toast away and dumps all of the dishes into the empty sink before helping Michael to his feet.

They walk to the bedroom hand in hand. As soon as Michael’s tucked safely beneath the covers, Calum flicks of his bedside lamp and a moment later the blonde is cuddled into his side. 

Calum can’t remember ever feeling this content as he holds Michael close, relishing the warm comforting weight curled against him. 

“Thank you for finally starting to open up to me.” Michael mutters quietly into the darkness.

“I should have done it a long time ago.” Calum confesses. “You deserve to be happy and safe, Mike. I’m gonna do all I can to make that happen.”

Michael places a kiss to Calum’s chest through the thick fabric of the jumper he’s still wearing. “I always feel safe with you, Cal.”

A niggling guilt starts to try gnawing at the edges of Calum’s contentedness, but he fights it away. “I hope you feel the same when I tell you the full story of what happened.” He replies, placing a kiss into Michael’s damp hair.

“You’re a good person, Calum.” Michael insists. “Whatever’s in your past has made you who you are now, the man I fell in love with the night he got drunk in my bar and asked me to go to a club with him. I’m even more in love with him now, even though I didn’t think that was possible.”

Calum lets out a tiny laugh as he strokes Michael’s arm softly. “I fell in love with you that night too, Angel.” The younger man admits. “I’m sorry I tried to keep you at a distance for so long.”

Snuggling into Calum even further, Michael nestles his head into the younger man’s chest. “I’ll forgive you, if you promise to cuddle me like this every night from now on.”

Calum feels as though there’s nothing he’d rather do every night for the rest of his life. “I promise I will, angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all liked this!
> 
> It’s so close to the big drama now and I’m scared it’s gonna be a shit pay off but I’m sort of excited for you to see it!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this has taken months!
> 
> Despite having taken so long, this chapter is pretty short and uneventful, I'm really sorry!
> 
> This chapter does mark the halfway point of the story though (as long as the rest of my chapters keep to my plan).
> 
> Even though not much happens here, it's leading up something and the next chapter is going to give you a bit more insight into Calum and I promise I'll post it much quicker than this one!

Ashton wakes up smiling for the first time in a _very_ long time. As consciousness seeps into his brain, he realises very quickly that Katy’s curled into his side, her fluffy curls tickling his neck and face as her head rests on his chest. Not wanting to disturb her he opts to lie there in silence for a while whilst she continues to sleep.

The apartment is quiet beyond his bedroom door, so Ashton assumes that Calum and Michael are still in bed. A quick glance at his alarm clock tells him that it’s just before 8am. He knows that Luke and Spencer probably won’t be discharged from hospital until at least lunchtime so there’s no huge rush to get up.

Revelling in the rare peace he’s found himself swaddled in, Ashton allows his sleepy thoughts to wonder to last night. Spending time with Katy had lifted his spirits higher than they’d been in years.

They’d enjoyed a laughter filled evening, taking their delicious pizzas to the car before Katy had driven them to a vantage point just outside of the city to enjoy their meal with a pretty view. 

The only downside to the evening had been the nervous butterflies in Ashton’s tummy that had prevented him from doing the one thing he’d wanted to do the most. Every time the conversation had lulled or Katy had shuffled closer to him, Ashton had tried all evening to work up the courage to kiss her but something always seemed to hold him back, the time had just never really been perfect enough. Even when they’d arrived back at the silent apartment, Ashton’s nerves had failed him. He’d simply offered Katy a t-shirt and some of his gym shorts since all of his sweats were much too long for her. After that they'd silently agreed that she could share his bed, a slightly bashful moment of eye contact and a soft pat to the bed from the older man had said it all. Despite the tension of the unoffered kiss hanging over them, they'd snuggled together and drifted off to sleep together.

Glancing over his slumbering companion Ashton's heart stutters in his chest. In the muted light drifting in through his closed curtains, Katy looks kind of angelic. He smiles contentedly as he subconsciously shifts and Katy stirs in her sleep, sighing as her body follows his, most likely chasing his warmth. Ashton hushes the younger girl softly as he strokes her hair comfortingly. “Mmm that feels nice, Ashy.” She mumbles sleepily. 

Ashton’s cheeks heat a little at the pet name but he smiles nonetheless. “Morning beautiful.” He whispers, unable to stop the fond words from tumbling out of him as he places a kiss into Katy’s curls and tightens his hold around her. “Did you sleep okay?”

Katy nods before tilting her head up to look at Ashton through her long, dark lashes. The pretty mixture of colours in her eyes seem to glimmer in the hazy morning light and Ashton’s pretty sure that his heart skips a beat. “You make a comfy pillow, Mr Irwin.” Katy chuckles, her voice still thick with sleep. 

“My mission in life is complete, then.” Ashton replies with a tiny giggle. “All I’ve ever wanted in life is to be a comfortable pillow for pretty girls.”

Katy slaps him playfully on the chest as she lifts herself into a sitting position. “And how many _pretty girls_ have you provided this service to?” She asks, her lips curving into a smirk. 

If it wasn’t for the fond look in her eye and the softness in her voice, Ashton would be a little worried that Katy is asking a serious question but the playful giggle she tacks onto the end of her sentence confirms that she’s only messing around. “Hmm...” the older man smirks, all too happy to play along with the joke. “Well after the first fifty or so, word spread pretty fast about how comfortable my chest is so it must be nearing two hundred at this point...” He sighs in mock exhaustion. “It’s tough being this cozy, y’know.”

Katy rolls her eyes fondly. “Well as long as you plan to keep me around longer than any of them...” she shrugs, smiling a little. Her eyes glisten with something that looks a lot like hope as her cheeks redden slightly.

Ashton can’t help himself, he reaches up to stroke her face softly before holding her chin lightly between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m gonna keep you around for as long as you’ll have me.” He promises, pouring every ounce of sincerity he can muster into the sentence as he shuffles into a sitting position so that he can pull her into a hug.

Katy giggles excitedly as she cuddles into him. “What if that’s forever, Irwin?” She asks innocently.

“That’s my best case scenario.” Ashton replies, placing another kiss into Katy’s curls. They tickle his nose again but he couldn’t care less, having her this close to him is well worth the tiny discomfort.

“You’re just a huge sap, aren’t you?” Katy smirks as she leans back a little to look at the older man again. Her tone is as soft as the gaze she fixes him with, making her look impossibly more angelic.

Ashton nods, painting an exaggerated frown on his face. “It’s true.” He fake-sobs. “My extremely macho exterior is just and act! I can’t believe you’ve seen through my disguise.”

Katy’s laughter is probably the sweetest sound Ashton’s ever heard and even when it gradually fades to silence, it leaves a light on her face that almost knocks the air out of his lungs. He feels himself leaning forward and although Katy makes no attempt to move away, Ashton still finds it hard to shake that nagging doubt that maybe she doesn’t want him to kiss her after all.

After fighting with himself for a second or two, the negative, self deprecating side of Ashton wins out and he stops at the final moment, disguising his lean forward as the beginnings of him getting out of bed.

He pretends not to notice the slightly disappointed look on Katy’s face as he swings his legs off of the bed. He paints a smile onto lips before glancing at the girl in his bed over his shoulder, “do you want to help me make eggs?” He asks, trying to sound casual, although he’s not sure he achieves it in the slightest.

Katy nods as she gets to her feet, rubbing the last of the sleep from her eyes with one fingertip. “Sure, chef.” She smiles, reaching up to poke one of Ashton’s cheeks playfully before padding past him into the hallway. “What kind are we making?”

Shrugging, Ashton follows her into the kitchen. “Scrambled?” He suggests doubtfully. “We still have a little bread to use up if you want toast too.” He traipses over to the fridge and pulls out a half empty packet of bread and a plastic tub of spreadable butter. 

Before Ashton can make it back to the counter where the toaster is sitting Katy steps in front of him and takes the items from his hands before placing them down on the nearest surface. 

The petite girl stares up at Ashton with something like longing as she runs her hand down his arm until her fingers brush the back of his hand. “There’s something I need you to do for me before we eat breakfast, Ashy.” She says, her voice barely a whisper in the quiet kitchen.

“What’s that, beautiful?” He asks, again unable to suppress the accurate but simple pet name his brain had spewed out earlier.

“I need you to tell me why you’re so afraid to kiss me.” Katy replies, her soft eyes betraying the nerves she has somehow managed to keep out of her voice. 

Ashton knows he can lie. He can tell Katy that he hasn’t even tried it yet because he doesn’t want to rush things but it’d be pointless in the long run. They both know he’s been trying and failing to kiss her for over twelve hours now. “I’m scared that you don’t want me to, that I’d be overstepping or misreading a situation.” He explains honestly. “And truthfully,” he adds nervously, “I’m not sure I’ve ever been good at it and...”

“Ash...” Katy smiles gently. “You’re not overstepping or misreading.” She assures him as she steps closer. “I want this as much as you do, I promise...”

The weak morning sun highlights all of the different colours in Katy’s eyes and makes her fluffy brown curls look even softer around her face. He leans down towards her without a moment’s hesitation and _finally_ presses a gentle kiss to her pink lips.

Katy smiles into it and as soon Ashton is relaxed enough to pay attention to what the rest of his body is doing, he pulls her closer, ensuring their bodies are pressed together before he attempts to deepen the kiss. 

As Katy parts her lips willingly, she lets out a contented hum before wrapping her arms around Ashton’s neck. “You’re definitely not bad at this, Casanova.” She smirks as they pull apart reluctantly. “Lucky for you, that was well worth the wait.”

Ashton chuckles, not wanting to waste another second that he could be kissing this beautiful girl, he reconnects their lips, lowering his hands to the small of her back before resting them on her hips. 

Despite his initial concerns about rushing into anything with Katy, Ashton is less than a second away from lifting her onto the countertop when an unwelcome interruption disrupts his new found confidence. It comes in the form of an amused sounding cough and Ashton knows instinctively, before he even turns around, that Calum is standing in the doorway with a smirk perched on his smug little face.

***

For the first time in over a week, Michael had woken up with a smile on his face. Calum had been snuggled into his back and they’d shared a few sleepy kisses before the younger man had offered to make coffees.

The warmth of the fluffy duvet and the overall contentment that seems to have settled into Michael, make it difficult for him to stay awake. He breathes in the smell of Calum’s hoodie that he’s still wearing and snuggles further into the soft pillow, allowing himself to enjoy the peace he’s feeling for once.

Michael’s teetering on the edge Of consciousness when an excited giggle from down the hall jolts him.

“Fine!” Katy laughs lightheartedly. “I’ll leave you two to it, I’ll just go and sit with your better half, Calum.” 

A tiny smile curls the corners of Michael’s lips as he shuffles into a sitting position. Katy is still giggling faintly when she appears at the open bedroom doorway. She’s holding two steaming mugs and her eyes sparkle in the muted light as she asks; “Morning, Mike. Mind if I join you?”

Michael shakes his head and pats the empty space on the bed beside him. His friendly smile morphs suddenly into a smirk as he takes in Katy’s slightly ruffled appearance and the fact that she’s wearing Ashton’s clothes. “So how’d your date go?” He asks, taking one of the mugs from his new friend. 

A slight blush colours the younger girl’s cheeks as she places down her cup on the bedside table and snuggles beneath the duvet next to Michael. “It wasn’t nice, we ate pizza in my car and talked for hours.” Her expression becomes slightly wistful as she recalls the previous evening and Michael can’t help feeling that Katy and Ashton are long overdue this feeling of being loved.

“You just talked?” The blonde man asks sceptically. “You finally had Ashton to yourself for a _whole night_ and you just _talked_?”

Katy nudges Michael’s arm softly enough that it doesn’t cause his hot coffee to spill over the bed covers. “It’d been a long, emotional day, Michael.” She replies with a little shrug. “We both just needed the company and the knowledge that we have each other now...” a slightly mischievous glint sparks into her eyes as she adds “we don’t all need to jump into bed with with a guy on the first date.”

Michael makes a fake offended noise as he feels his cheeks heat up a little under his friend’s knowing gaze. “So what if I’m a hoe, Calum was the hottest guy I’d ever met and still is actually, so can you blame me?”

A burst of laughter escapes Katy as she shuffles a little closer to the older man. “I can’t say that I do really.” 

Michael grins smugly. “I still can’t believe he ever fell for me, to be honest.” He hides his reddening face behind his mug as he takes a small sip of the coffee. 

There’s an undeniable flicker of fondness in Katy’s eyes as she smiles at her new friend. “I can...” she whispers sweetly, “you have a sort of charm about you.”

Michael reaches around Katy’s shoulders, pulling her into a one armed hug. “So do you.” He replies, his tone full of love. “I’m glad you moved here, Katy.” The blonde man adds in a whisper. “I’m sorry the circumstances aren’t happier but I’m glad we have you in our lives now.”

Tears well in Katy’s eyes before she discreetly wipes them away with the back of her hand. “It’s weird that you all feel like family to me already.” She shrugs. “I’ve never felt accepted before and especially not this quickly.”

Tightening his grip around her small shoulders, Michael places a a gentle kiss into the younger girl’s tousled curls. “Well we are your family now.” He smiles, but it’s tinged with a hint of sadness that he can’t fully hide. “Although you might regret it, we’re a bit of a dysfunctional one.”

Katy rests her head on Michael’s shoulder, being careful not to spill her coffee. “Trust me, after the ‘families’ I’ve known in the past, yours is already my favourite.”

Scoffing playfully, Michael puts his coffee cup down on the bedside table. “You’re only saying that because you fancy Ashton...” he teases lightly, green eyes sparkling.

Although Katy’s cheeks colour a little, she shakes her head. “You’re all pretty amazing.” She states firmly. “The way you all agreed to help me find Robert so quickly... I don’t think many other people would be so kind to someone who's little more than a stranger to them.”

Michael strokes his thumb gently over Katy’s shoulder. “Well you offered to help Calum too, we’re all in this together now.”

A sad smile stretches across Katy’s lips as she snuggles further into Michael’s hold. “He means a lot to me you know, my little brother. I feel responsible for him even though we haven’t even lived together for a long time.” Her voice is small and almost hesitant, as though she’s worried Michael will judge her for a past that was bone of her fault to begin with. 

“Did the two of you get split up?” Michael asks cautiously, not wanting to upset her whilst still wanting her to know she can trust him.

“Yeah, when we were really small, actually.” Katy confirms quietly. “The second I turned eighteen I set out to find him.” She explains tearfully. “By the time I found him, he’d already fallen in with a bad crowd.”

The heartache is all too clear in Katy’s voice. It’s obvious to Michael how much Robert must mean to the younger girl and if he wasn’t already determined to help his new friend, he sure he’ll is now.

“I tried to talk him into leaving with me, but he... He stopped meeting with me after a while.” Katy sniffs back tears as she glances up to meet Michael’s gaze. “I found out that it was this Vince guy that’s roped Robert in and I just... I knew I had to get him out of there.”

Michael nods understandably. “Well you have help now and I know that having you on our side will mean that Calum’s a little safer too.” An almost cheeks smile curls his lips as he adds “I have a feeling that you’re a lot more fierce and formidable than your height and cute little face would have us believe!”

A watery laugh escapes katy as she places a grateful kiss to Michael’s stubbled cheek. “You know it.” She promises as he wipes away the stray tear that had fallen down her cheek without her permission. “Come on, lets go and make sure those silly boys haven't burnt down the kitchen!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you, it was short, but hopefully it wasn't too boring!

**Author's Note:**

> As always I'm not convinced that all of the spelling and grammar in this is correct. If you notice anything please let me know.


End file.
